Our Printer Finally Burped

Merci:  You should be napping.  Why are you still awake?

Cyndi.

Cyndi:  I'm too excited about having a printer again. We've been without one since March 18 of last year when Win 10 did another upgrade and disconnected it. 

Merci:  Just as a short and hopefully comic version of why we furries have had a collective headache for the past 11 months...  Jan claims she has practically gone blind reading all the info for that printer, as well as all the MC how-to data on it.  Nothing worked!  It was there but it wasn't and it didn't do anything.

Cyndi:  That's when she found out she was not supposed to have a parallel cable plugged into a hub into a usb port on the computer.  But this computer has no parallel and only had two usb ports (until Doug recently added four more), hence the hub. The no-no setup worked just fine for about 3 years.

Merci: Must be the luck of the ignorant.  She didn't know better, so it worked for her.  She did say - repeatedly! - she didn't think the printer's usb port works.  Guess what?  It doesn't! 

Cyndi:  The printer company has been wanting her to call to resolve the problem, but she often has trouble remembering simple everyday words (and names of people she's known for 30 or 40 decades) and didn't want to go through that confusion on the phone with strangers.  (They can't see her waving her arms and turning red .)  To get a response to her emails, she had to sign up for an account and it was in that account she started finding some helpful postings.

Merci: It was not a problem with corrupted drivers, but multiple installs of them on different ports.  Also, there might be something left in the queue that didn't delete and wasn't showing.  She emailed the info to Mr. Doug Thursday night, ran CCleaner, and Mr. Doug showed up the next morning before she could install the printer for the gazillionth time to look for those problems.

Cyndi:  He brought the whole electronic pharmacy - laptop, new cable, etc.- and installed the printer on the laptop.  That's when we learned for sure that the printer usb doesn't work.  A test page was printed a few months ago, but when connected to a computer, the printer wouldn't even burp!

Merci.

Merci:  So why is Cyndi excited about having a printer again?  Because it did print with the parallel cable plugged into a usb cable plugged into  a usb port.  Yep, the no-no set-up is the only one that works.

Cyndi:  Mr. Doug found two test files on here that had not deleted, the printer burped, and now we have a laser printer again.  Eleven months of perseverance, investigation, in/un-installations, confusion and discouragement shortened into one blog post.

Merci:  And Wednesday, two days prior, a very sweet lady gave Jan a brand new ink jet printer.  We haven't had a scanner since the old all-in-one died a few years ago.

Cyndi:  Jan was busy over the weekend printing some files before Win 10 decides to uninstall it again. 

Merci:  Of course, she might spend another 11 months trying to set up the all-in-one.

Cyndi:  Oh, dear, what if that's true? 

Merci:  Relax.  Marcus read all the instructions Jan used and he said if Jan has a problem with the new one, he'll install it himself.

Cyndi:  Marcus install our new printer?  Now I'll never be able to nap!

Merci:  Thank you for your help, Mr. Doug!  Jan said the next time you have a computer problem, it's her turn to come help you.

Cyndi:  You don't really think he'd take her up on that, do you?

Merci:  Not if he has any sense!

Over My Shoulder

Percy:  I guess this is life in the tech age.  Always having to look over your shoulder to see who is doing what behind your back.

Taylor: So who is doing what behind you, Percy?  I don't see anyone there.

Percy:  I don't mean physically behind me, Taylor.

Micah:  Then where is the cat hiding?

Percy:  There's no cat.  I'm referring to Windows 10.  Remember all the problems with the uninstalled printer this week after Winton installed Creator?  Mr. Doug finally fixed the printer problem.

Cyndi:  So you can stop looking over your shoulder and relax.

Percy:  Not really.  Last night Jan started to prepare some photos for today's Mousebreath interview and she discovered the text in Photoshop Elements was broken.

Taylor:  How do you break text?

Percy:  That's a good question.

Micah:  What's the answer?

Percy:  I have no idea!  But Microsoft managed to do it.  After a period of panic, Jan decided to check the web to see if anyone else had that problem and found a whole host of Adobe photo program users have had the same problem after Win 10 Creator installed.

Rusty:  So "Creator" is actually a misnomer?

Percy:  Right!  We want to let Adobe users know to expect this.  If the text engine can not initialize after Win 10 Creator installs, the solution can be found on an Adobe forum:  https://forums.adobe.com/message/9458385#9458385.  It does work, and when you restart your photo program, Adobe will replace the file. 

Cyndi:  Oh, good, that means we can finish our interview post and sleep well tonight!

Rusty:  We'd like to introduce Chuck from the blog Eastside Cats.  He lives inside with his sister Angel. The "O" Cats, Sweetie and Patty live outside.  You can read The Eastside Inside Outside Cats at Mousebreath.

Taylor:  I'm so glad Percy can relax now.

Percy:  I can't relax.  Who knows what other software Jan will find broken?

Cyndi:  Well, Jan is just about ready for bed as we write this, so you can relax for tonight, Percy, and go back to looking over your shoulder tomorrow.

Percy:  I'm not sure I can do that.

Micah:  Why not?

Percy:  I've been looking over my shoulder for so long I can't turn my head.  Do any of you know a good chiropractor that makes house calls?


We are joining the Pet Parade hosted by Rascal and Rocco, Basil the Bionic Cat, Barking from the Bayou and Owned by a husky.  

The Psychotic Printer

Marcus:  I guess we know what we're thankful for this week!

Rusty:  Yes, we finally get our computer back!

Marcus:  Back?  Where'd it go?

Rusty:  Jan was hogging it.  How quickly you forget.

Marcus:  I didn't forget.  I didn't know what you were referring to.

Rusty:  She tried to print something Sunday and discovered our printer was uninstalled again when Windows 10 updated to Creator last week.   Only this time, no matter what she did, it would not actually install!  It was there but it wasn't. 

Marcus:  Yes, it was the ghost printer - in the queue but not installed.  She would try to print a document and the lights would start blinking and it would start spewing out test page after test page - or some jibberish.  She had to resort to reusing the same paper and it would keep printing multiples over the old test pages.

Rusty:  And then there was the monitor.

Marcus:  What about the monitor?

Rusty:  It wouldn't turn on at first on Monday and then Tuesday it downright refused.  She untangled all the cords and made sure everything was hooked up properly.  Tried plugging it in different places.  Finally climbed up on Buddy's step stool and got the old monitor and prepared to hook it up.  Suddenly the one we've been using came on.  It's working fine now.

Marcus:  This just hasn't been Jan's week. First thing Monday after picking up poop in the dog pen, she tripped over a step and had to do some fancy "dancing" to not fall on the concrete. In the process, she twisted her already bad foot and ankle, so she's been derelict in her duty to play ball with me or to walk us properly.

Rusty:  But the good news is that while she was untangling cords, she discovered our 4 port usb hub was missing the power cord.  It's been missing for so long she found it packed away on the top shelf of the closet.  Evidently it fell off (again!) and when it was found she had no idea where it went and everything worked - sort of.  I mean, who makes a big heavy plug end with a very thin cord?  Even we furries could figure out it isn't going to stay plugged in.  It had fallen out again yesterday, so Mr. Doug taped the cord to the hub.

Marcus:  It's been that kind of a week.  But things did improve yesterday.  Mr. Doug came by to take Jan somewhere important and afterward he sat at the computer, read some online Microsoft printer tech stuff, and in a while we had a printer again.  It actually prints real words and stops at one copy.    *sigh*  It's almost boring now that the lights don't flash and Jan doesn't have to catch all the papers spewing from the printer.

Rusty:  Thank you for fixing the psychotic printer, Mr. Doug!

Marcus:  Do you think we should thank Jan, too?  She did do some things right this week and she has been entertaining.

Rusty:  Dancing With The Stars on TV is entertainment.  Dancing on the steps or tangling herself in cords is part of what Jan signed on for when she adopted us.  But, yes, we're thankful for her too.


On a different note, we mentioned a while ago that service cats Dezi and Raena's mom Audra has some dental needs. She has found a dentist to do the work and could really use some help to go forward.  Those who know Audra and her cats through her blog or Facebook know her story.  Donation information is in her post.  If you can't donate, please share her fundraiser.  Her blog is DezizWorld.


We are joining Brian for Thankful Thursday.

Race You To Sleep

Buddy: It's so late I cant think of anything to be thankful for this week. Can you?

Micah:   I can. I'm thankful for my red scratcher.

Buddy:  But you don't have that scratcher any more.  You shredded the top.  Jan turned it over and you shredded the bottom. 

Micah:  It doesn't matter.  I'm still thankful for my red scratcher ... the one I deaded with my shredding claws.  It was mine, all mine.  None of you had any interest in it.  In fact, I miss it.

Buddy:  Why are you fixated on an old scratcher Jan threw out some time ago?

Micah:  Because I'm tired, you're tired, Jan is so tired she's sliding down the seat of the chair.  We have to be thankful for something! 

Buddy:  Why didn't we do this earlier  when we were still awake?

Micah:  Because Microsoft waited until we were ready to write our post before it suddenly announced it was ready to shut down to upgrade us to Windows 10 Creator.  Now that it has finished and Jan has given it a once over to see what's new, none of us can stay awake long enough to remember what we planned to post.

Buddy:  But surely there must be something more recent to be thankful for.

Micah:  Okay, I'm thankful the upgraded operating system will boot without a hitch after a good night's rest.  At least I hope I am. If not, it's going to be embarrassing when we don't show up in Blogville today.

Buddy:  First, you're thankful for the past, now you're thankful for the future.  Don't you have any current good news?

Micah:  Yes, I'm going to hit publish now and then snore the night away.

Buddy:  Good idea.  I'll race you to sleep.


We're joining the Thankful Thursday blog hop at Brian's Home.

The Alien Rusty Virus

Rusty:  It's been a quiet day.  I hope we have a quiet night so I can catch up on my sleep.

Cyndi:  I hope the aliens have gone!  I'd sure hate to have them playing on our computer again.

Rusty:  What aliens?  Did I miss something?

Cyndi:  How could you miss that?  I could have sworn I heard Rod Serling's "Twilight Zone" music playing.  If not, it was the only noise missing.

Rusty:  I didn't hear any music and I didn't see any aliens.

Cyndi:  I didn't see any either but don't tell me you slept through last night's events.

Rusty:  I must have.  What happened?

Cyndi:  Jan was reading an email in Thunderbird on our computer when it suddenly started winking, dinging and zipping up and down , and boxes started opening and nonsense typing sped line-by-line across the page.

Rusty:  What did she do?

Cyndi:  She shut down Thunderbird.  She reopened it and it commenced doing the same thing.  She shut it down a second time.  She had just edited some pictures in Picasa and brought that back up on the desktop.

Rusty:  Was that okay?

Cyndi:  NO!  It was doing the same thing.  Scrolling really fast and dinging like crazy.  She closed that program too.

Rusty:  So everything was okay then?

Cyndi:  You know Jan.  She opened it back up and it did the same thing.  Only that time,the Thunderbird icon in the tray was pulsing a glowing orange as if it was sending Morse code.

Rusty:  Did she get a virus or did someone get control of our computer?

Cyndi:  Actually, she looked down at the keyboard.  Guess what she found?

Rusty:  What?

Cyndi:  YOU!  You had been sleeping on the desk with one paw dangling, but then, your head - and you are a big cat with a big head! - must have slowly lowered onto the keyboard until it was resting flat on a mass of keys. 

Rusty:  Why didn't Jan notice that right away?

Cyndi:  Jan watches the monitor screen, not the keyboard, when she is concentrating on a task.  She's not going to let you sleep on the desk when she's working again.  You were oblivious to the chaos you created as you slept.

Rusty:  You mean I slept through all that dinging and typing?  Is why Jan so rudely pushed me off the desk?

Cyndi:  You could say that. She was sure relieved the computer survived the Alien Rusty Virus.




Merci:  Well, the cats wrote the first part of our post, so guess I can introduce the second part.  It's Friday, time for another Mousebreath cat interview.

Percy:  This week our subject is Purrseidon the Water Cat.  You will enjoy meeting him and his fur siblings Saphera and Mister M.

Taylor:  Here is a link to Purrseidon's blog.   Her human is Jeanne Foguth who writes Sci-fi and Fantasy books.


We are joining the Pet Parade hosted by Rascal and Rocco, Basil the Bionic Cat, Barking from the Bayou and Owned by a husky.

The Secret Code

Merci:  You do know, don't you, that staring so closely at the computer screen is bad for your eyes?

Taylor:  No, I wasn't aware of that, but I'm trying to figure out what this is.  I think it's a secret code.

Merci:  It's not a secret code.  It's a jigsaw puzzle.  You move the little pieces around until they fit together.  That's something Jan likes to do to relax.

Taylor: Oh, you mean like this?  I guess Jan couldn't figure out the secret code to this one.

Merci:  There is no secret code.

Micah:  Of course there is a secret code, Taylor.  And if you work on it long enough, you'll crack it.

*whispers*

Merci:  What are you doing, Micah?  There is no secret code!

Micah:    Who cares?  It has Taylor's attention and she's playing on the computer.  You know how terrified she is of the screen.

Merci:  Oh, right.  We should be thankful Taylor is so engrossed looking for the secret code that she hasn't run out of the room.

Micah:  Exactly.  And after a while she'll realize there is not need to fear the computer.

Taylor:  Hey, guys, I can read it.  I've cracked the secret code.

Merci:  You have?  What does it say?

Taylor:  It says, my siblings think I'm dumb - and deaf!  I'm going back to the bedroom where I'm safe.

Micah:  I guess that plan backfired, but, still, we should be thankful for small steps forward.



We always have much to be thankful for, so we are joining the Thankful Thursday blog hop at Brian's Home. 

Rusty is 13

Cyndi: Happy birthday, dear Rusty.  We love you like a brother and we want you to know how much we appreciate your good nature.

Merci:  And we're thankful for your good nature today since we are so late publishing for your special day.

Percy:  For once it wasn't Jan's fault.

Taylor:  Oh?  So who's fault was it?  I know I didn't hit any wrong keys.

Buddy:  For once it wasn't Jan's fault and it wasn't yours either, Taylor.  I have a sneaky suspicion it was Winton's (Win 10) fault. 


Jan:  If anyone noticed we didn't post today and wondered why, we lost our browsers yesterday.  It's a very long, complicated story but I accidentally resolved it today.  The Funny Farmers are innocent.  And so am I.  Winton, however, needs to stop sneaking around behind the scenes and creating chaos. 

Kudos to the nice guy at my ISP who went out of his way to help verify the internet was working.  Everything with it worked except all 3 browsers - FF, Edge & IE - could not connect.  Boos to my ISP for wanting me to pay them to "fix any problems or viruses".  Kudos to my antivirus support for responding so quickly this morning to let me know it was NOT a virus.  And a bucketful of kudos to Mr. Doug who didn't get upset when I found the solution just as he was arriving.  (He took me shopping instead.)

So, belated birthday wishes to sweet Rusty!

Shut Off the Power

Rusty:  I'm so embarrassed.  I hope no one assumes we're anything like Jan. 

Micah:  Yes, we still have our wits about us, but I don't know if we'll retain them if we keep hanging around with her.

Rusty:  Just yesterday Cyndi posted a story of Jan's absentmindedness with time.  (A Clock and a Calendar)

Micah:  Yesterday afternoon Mr. Doug came by.  He asked if she is sure the UPS (backup battery) will shut down the computer if the electric goes off.

Rusty:  The conversation went something like this -

     Jan:  Yes, it will. 

     Mr. Doug:  How do you know?

     Jan:  It tells me it will.

     Mr. Doug:  It tells you?

     Jan: Yes, it does a periodic self-test.

     Mr. Doug: And you believe it?  Have you tested it yourself to be sure it will work?

     Jan:  No-o-o-o.  Should I try it now?

     Mr. Doug:  Yes, shut off the power and see what happens.

     Jan walked around behind the computer and shut off the power.

     Mr. Doug:  *wide-eyed*  Wow, you must not have any software on that UPS.

     Jan:  Why, what happened?

     Mr. Doug:  It didn't shut down; it just went off.

     Jan:  That's not possible.  It always tells me when the electric goes off and it switches power sources.

     Mr. Doug:  When was that, Windows 7, or XP?  Did Windows 10 install the UPS?

     Jan:  I'm sure it did.  It's supposed to update all the hardware.

     Mr. Doug:  Well, you need to do a search and find if there is an update.

     Jan:  I don't understand it.  It always does the bells and whistles when the electric so much as blinks.  I don't understand why it didn't even tell us it had switched to battery power?

     Mr. Doug:  It didn't switch.  It just died.

     Light bulb switches on.

     Jan:  Oh, no, it couldn't shut down!  I forgot I was supposed to pull the plug from the wall.  I pushed the button to turn off the UPS. 

Rusty: Whatever Jan has might be contagious.  I need a nap to renew what's left of my mind.

Micah:  It's not that bad, Rusty.  Jan just did what she was told.  She shut off the power.

New Castle for King Rusty

Rusty:  You might remember how much I love my cathouse.  I stand in the doorway and survey my domain.  It makes me feel like a king.

The sun feels so good on my body, especially when the weather is cooler, as it is now. I cant explain what a joy it is to know I am in control of my life.  Until Jan comes outside and carries me inside for the day.

Recently, I found a much larger realm.  I invested some paw power to open it up to the sun, waltzed in and sat surveying my new domain and imagining the other Funny Farmers bowing before my throne.  What a terrific new castle.

And then, suddenly, Jan looked outside, saw me enjoying myself, sped down the steps, scooped me up and took me inside.

The next day I strolled outside with the dogs and found she had closed the castle door and barred it with a set of flower pots. I went to work and opened it again.  Jan came outside, scooped me up and carried me inside.

I returned to my castle the next day and discovered the castle door was now blocked with my cathouse.  I can't move the clubhouse.  Jan can barely move it, but she did and locked me out.  I want in!  It's my new kingdom.

Jan:  Rusty, you can't go under the house.  That's the crawl space.  I can't crawl under there to reach you but snakes can.  There could be a snake under there.  Possibly giant rats.  Or a crazed chipmunk.

Rusty:  Oh, come on.  When is the last time anyone saw a crazed chipmunk running around under the house?  What does she mean by last week?  She's just jealous because I fit under the house and she doesn't.
Wait!  Did she say snake?  I think I'll abdicate!


Mr. Doug came by yesterday and spliced another fan into the power supply.  There's going to be a pitter patter of furry feet racing around trying to catch up with what we've missed. 

Winton in the Doghouse

Marcus:  Is it safe to come out yet?

Percy:  Not yet.  I'd wait a few days for Jan to calm down if I were you.

Marcus:  A few days?  I could starve to death in here.  And what about when I have to pee and ... um, you know?

Percy:  You might want to hold it.

Marcus:  Hold it?  Hold it where?

Percy:  You're taking your life in your hands if you come out.

Marcus:  But you're out.

Percy:  Ah, but there are more places I can run and hide where you wouldn't fit.

Marcus:  How long do you think it will take Jan to calm down from this weekend?

Percy:  Oh, I'd give it a month.

Marcus:  She sure was angry.  I had to cover my ears in case she said any words on the bad list that we're not supposed to use.  And when she threatened to throw the computer monitor through the window, I figured I was safer in here than out there.  Who's this guy Winton she's so angry with?

Percy:  Not Winton.  Win 10.  It's the latest Microsoft operating system and Jan said she'd like to make the idiot who created it late.  I think that means she'd like to kill Win 10.

Marcus: I think we should help her do it.  She spent most of the weekend trying to figure out how to download photos from her camera so we could post.  Win 10 won't let her just pop a card into the reader to download photos and trying to download to Picasa, which used to be a snap, now takes a looooooooooooooooong time!

Percy:  She finally found a Microsoft program already on the computer that will download faster - one she wanted to uninstall - but she can't add tags (plural) with it, so she has to use something else to tag.  Then when she tried to move June photos from the May file, all the June photos disappeared and it took a long time to find them.  And the "fun" had only started.

Marcus:  If this was a fun weekend, I must have missed something.  We didn't get to write the post we had planned.  Jan missed dinner and was so hungry she chewed nails.  She yelled at someone named Horse's Rear End because he doesn't understand that NO means NO and she doesn't want the crap trying to be forced on her.  I guess that means we're out of poop bags.

Percy:  Well, look at it this way, Marcus.  There is one ray of sunshine for you this weekend.

Marcus:  I'm trying to hide in a crate.  What could be good about that?

Percy:  For the moment, you're not the one in the doghouse.  That guy Winton is.

A Marcus Act-Alike

MERCI:  It's my turn to post my picture in case you've forgotten what I look like.  You do remember all of us, don't you?

MICAH:  Personally, I think we're pretty hard to forget, but we're not around as much as we used to be due to circumstances of life named Jan.

RUSTY:  We're catching a moment online while she has her feet in a pan of Epsom Salts trying to get the swelling in her bad ankle down.

MARCUS:  She has a bad ankle?  Can she trade it in for a good one?  Or at least one the same size as the other? 

SAM:  You have nothing to worry about, Marcus.  She knows you have to be exercised daily and even of she has to waddle down the road listing to the right, she hasn't failed you yet.

CYNDI:  After a month in email hell, Jan has finally figured out the problem and spent part of yesterday and most of today setting up new Thunderbird accounts.

PERCY:  We can finally receive emails on the computer.  But Jan still has a lot of folders and files to "move"  before things are somewhat back to "normal".

BUDDY:  This is a video of a Marcus act-alike.  Not look-alike, act-alike.  This is how Marcus would react in a race. We have to admit the owner lost the competition, but, really, did the dog lose too?  We think not!


If the video doesn't play, click here.

Crossed Paw Soccer

Cyndi:  Boy, do we ever have some things to be thankful for today!

Micah:  Of course we do.  We always do.  ... like what, in particular?

Sam:  Well, there's the fact we didn't drown in the bathroom flood Tuesday evening.  And that the leak has been fixed.

Rusty:  And that the coupler on the hot water heater has been replaced so if the gas heater feels the urge to explode, it can send hot water up the pipe instead of spewing it all over us in the kitchen.

Cameron:  I don't know about you guys but since I don't want to go swimming and I spend a lot of time in the kitchen, I'm very thankful for both repairs. 

Buddy:  We're also very thankful that after spending a week in the box, Jan finally installed the new monitor Tuesday.  This picture is not photoshopped.  Jan took it in "natural" indoor light.  The background turned out black and white and the color is ... jitterbugging for attention.

Percy:  We're not sure how this photo appears on your monitor screen, but it's quite vivid on ours.  That is our new blog background with multiple colors. The monitor is backlit.  What a difference!  Now our teeth will sparkle when we smile.  See?

Merci:  Jan's friend told here there is a down side to this, though.  A photograph can show in beautiful, bright colors on the monitor and then appear dull when printed. Cross your paws and wish us success because Jan does our graphics. 

Marcus:  Hey, guys, there's a slight problem.  How am I supposed to play soccer with my paws crossed?

 The Thankful Thursday blog hop is hosted by Pepi Smart Dog.

The Thoughtless Thursday blog hop is hosted by Ruckus the Eskie, Love is being owned by a husky, and Barking from the Bayou.

Send A Yacht

FUSTY: I thought I would post a picture of warmer and drier days.  It's not too bad here, though. Many of you are having much worse weather.

RUSTY:  Hey, Percy, you spelled my name wrong.  I'm Rusty, not Fusty!

PERCY:  Sorry, Rusty.  A slip of the paw.  As you know we have to make a fast post and get out of Jan's way.

BUDDY:  Yes, she has lots to do.  It's been a busy couple of days and it's going to be busier today.

CYNDI:  Jan spent part of Monday reading the instructions for the new monitor.  You'd think instructions would have come with it but she had to download a 60-page booklet from the CD.

CAMERON:  Since she couldn't read the instructions on the computer if something went wrong setting it up, she had to go through the instructions, copy and paste and print what she needed.

MERCI:  It was a bit overwhelming since she thought she was getting a regular monitor, but it turns out it has extra software that can be used.  The most interesting is the divided desktop one.

MICAH:  She hasn't had a chance to install any of it yet because things got a bit hectic around here yesterday.

SAM:  But the monitor is installed as of Tuesday morning.  We have to wear sunglasses to see the screen.

MARCUS:  We do?  I don't see any of us wearing any.

PERCY:  Sam was joking.  He means it is so bright and clear Jan can actually see what she's doing.

MARCUS:  Oh, I thought the reason she can see what she is doing is because she went from a 19" screen to a 24".  I think I look extra cute on the bigger screen.

CYNDI:  Of course, you think you look extra cute, Marcus.  But you're actually the same big-eared photo hog you've always been.

BUDDY:  The reason we have to rush is because we also had a flooded bathroom Tuesday and someone is coming to do some work this morning.

MERCI:  Jan has been running around like a headless chicken so we need to get out of her way.  Like now!

CAMERON:  We hope our Thankful Thursday post will be about a dry bathroom.

MICAH:  If not, please send a rowboat for us.

RUSTY:  A rowboat?  We won't all fit in a rowboat, especially with Brick Butt.

SAM:  You shouldn't talk about Jan like that!

RUSTY:  I wasn't talking about Jan.  I was referring to you, Sam. 

BUDDY:  Forget the rowboat.  Send a yacht!  And a referee!

Gremlins in Attic

Rusty & Buddy

RUSTY:  Did Jan tell you about the gremlins in the attic?

BUDDY:  I hope you aren't trying to tell a joke.

RUSTY:  It's not a joke.  We had strange computer problems all last year.  Flashing monitor banners, two hard drive suicides, and since the original drive died, the computer has bouts of Alzheimers and sometimes tells Jan to reboot or pick a drive when there is only one drive on the computer and none listed on the notice.

BUDDY:  I do know the stress got to Jan.  Monday she came sooooo close to just shutting down and not touching the computer again until we held an exorcism.

RUSTY:  I know you're kidding about the exorcism, but she did almost shut us down. None of us has been able to do much of anything in a while. Sunday she checked to be sure it wasn't our UPS.

BUDDY:  UPS breaks monitors?  I thought they just deliver packages. 

RUSTY:  Not that UPS.  Our computer backup battery. 

BUDDY:  Oh, that's a relief.  The brown pants UPS delivers our Chewy review boxes.  

RUSTY:  Monday the monitor setup banner started flashing before Windows started to load.  That's when Jan said she'd had it, that there were gremlins in the attic, and she was shutting everything down!  Noooooo!

BUDDY:  I must have been napping then.  I do know that as of yesterday there is a new monitor on order. 

RUSTY:  And the banners are no longer flashing and blocking our screen. 

BUDDY:  Yes, I've been meaning to ask how that happened.

RUSTY:  Jan decided to see if there could possibly be another update to our old monitor drivers, so she sent Microsoft out to check the internet for one.  It said we're using the best driver for it and then stopped flashing.

BUDDY:  But if it has the same driver....? 

RUSTY:  Yes, it's weird.  Jan did remember when the backup drive was connected and died, it left a mess and Windows had to do a repair and set everything back to an earlier time in order to be able to start Windows. 

BUDDY:  So the monitor problem has been resolved?

RUSTY:  Yes, for now.   I hope the new monitor won't have any gremlins because Jan has been wanting to have this one for an emergency backup, and we're all a bit tired of emergencies around here.

BUDDY:  This is a new year.  Let's hope it's a good year.  No gremlins in the attic.  No emergencies.  Marcus will become a model roommate and - 

RUSTY:  You should have stopped at no emergencies. The only model Marcus will ever be is the poster boy for the Canine Youth Detention Center.
 

Flash Crackle Black

MERCI:  Thank you all for the nice comments about my photos yesterday.  Those of you with older furries know our looks change as we age, but we're always beautiful (or handsome) to our humans.  So even though I've grown older, I'm still me.

CYNDI:  This is the black and white version.  If you missed the other versions Saturday, you can view them in Mercy Miss Merci.

     The Sunday Black and White blog hop is co-hosted by Golden Sugar and Dachshund Nola.

BUDDY:  Don't be surprised if we disappear for a while, or off and on.  We are all on the verge of a nervous breakdown  from these constantly flashing monitor banners.

PERCY:   It's so bad Jan disconnected this monitor yesterday afternoon and plugged in Mr. Doug's very heavy old one that takes up most of this desk.  

MICAH:  She's been struggling with pain for quite a while and lifting that back and forth has made it worse.

RUSTY:  She set it up and turned it on and it scared the ... well, it almost scared the ... Jan, can we say "crap"?  Okay, well it almost scared the pee out of her!  Us too!

CYNDI:  We have to admit it is seldom boring around here.   

SAM:  When Windows loaded, it started to imitate the old Snap, Crackle, Pop commercials we've heard about.

CAMERON:  Yeah, crackling and flashing like you wouldn't believe.  And then it went black.  Uh, how do you turn off a computer with no monitor to reach Shutdown?  Jan had to crash it.

MARCUS: She tried turning just the monitor on several times without the computer and it finally came back but it just kept doing the flashing, crackling, black.  Jan disconnected it, turned off the UPS, and pulled the plugs from the wall.

MICAH:  And then she took a shower.  I can't figure out how taking a shower helped us, but that's a human for you.  When everything is going wrong, they take a shower.

PERCY:  She plugged the original monitor in and we're trying hard to cope with the insistent flashing.  Jan says it has stomped her last nerve.  I wonder if anyone sells nerve repair kits online?


BUDDY:  On a happier note, we have a fun Sunday Smile video, pandas at play on a slide.  Enjoy.


If the video doesn't play, click here.

Loopy at the Funny Farm

CYNDI:  Our 2014 ended with a flash and began with one.

MICAH:  For months we've had flashing banners on our screen from our monitor.

MERCI:  Those banners have become such a pain in the .... uh-oh, I better watch what I say.  Jan has a bar of soap and knows how to use it.

RUSTY:  Lately, the flashing banners begin even before Jan has a chance to log on in the morning and continue all day.

BUDDY:  It takes three forevers to do anything.  We can't read our mail, do a post or anything without this constant flashing.

PERCY:  The banners cover the middle of the screen and there's no way around them.  We have to just wait and try to do something in between flashes.  Nothing has worked, not even blowing in air in case it's dirty.

MARCUS:  I used to like the banners.  They're eye-catching and energetic - like me!  Only it's hard to read my fan mail with them.

SAM:  What fan mail?  You got a note from some female named Flo asking if you are the Marcus who graduated at the top of his class at the Doright Obedience School. It was a wrong number via email.  I don't know how she confused you with an obedient dog.  Fan mail, my eye!

CAMERON:  Jan did a new search and found the flashing could be caused by a dirty doohicky in the monitor or the setup button could have gone loopy.  Yeah, loopy, that's the problem.  We definitely need a new monitor but as Jan would say, they don't grow on trees. Not local trees, anyway.

The Pet Parade is hosted by Rascal and Roscoe.  It is co-hosted by Bionic Basil, Barking From the Bayou, Love is being owned by a husky, and us (Jan's Funny Farm).

Who is this week's Featured Favorite?  Check it out at Rascal & Rocco's. 

There are two parts to the blog hop - your blog url and social media.

Sam Is Befuddling

Rusty & Buddy

BUDDY:  Okay, so I'm totally confused.  Are we or are we not going to do a post today?

RUSTY:  Yes, I have the same question.  Are we going to do a post today?

MERCI:  Of course we will do a post today.  It's the Mousebreath interview we are postponing.

MARCUS:  Okay, got it.  No mice are being interviewed today because they all have bad breath.

PERCY:  Where did you get that idea, Marcus? You've been here long enough to know Mousebreath is an ezine for cats.

CAMERON:  I think Marcus has been eating too much stuffing from the bed in his crate.  It's affecting his brain.

CYNDI:  We did do a holiday post at Mousebreath today.  It just is not an interview.  We will resume those in 2015.  Right now everyone is running around headless.  

MICAH:  I think you mean everyone is running around like a chicken with its head cut off.

CYNDI:  Why would I ever say that?  It sounds kind of gross.

MICAH:  And running around headless doesn't sound gross?

SAM:  It's Christmas.  Can we be less bloody and more cheerful? 

BUDDY:  Of course we can.  How about if we talk about how fortunate it was we confused our days and finished our Thursday post Tuesday because  we thought it was actually Wednesday?  (If you missed it - Today Is Wednesday.)

CYNDI:  Yes, that was fortunate.  Because on Wednesday the computer went berserk again and ...

SAM:  We have no idea of why but Jan connected the backup drive so she could do a backup.  Sorry, I don't mean we have no idea of why Jan connected the backup drive.  I mean, we have no idea why the computer went berserk.  As she was preparing for it, things got strange.  No, she wasn't preparing for the computer to go berserk.  She was ...

CAMERON:  Never mind, Sam, you're just becoming more befuddling.  Jan thought rebooting the computer might help, but when it started to shut down, Windows got confused and crashed.

RUSTY:  Then nothing worked.  All she got when she tried to start was the message a hard drive failure was imminent, to back up her work and replace the drive.  How does one back up work when Windows won't load?

MERCI:  Jan was just about to panic when she realized the message was not for the new hard drive.  (Our original one failed in October and was replaced. We were offline for a week.)  It was the backup drive with the problem.

MICAH:  It was a scary afternoon, but after she disconnected the backup, she was finally able to get Windows to repair itself and reset itself to an earlier time.

MARCUS:  So we were back up and running but Jan spent the next hours backing up unsaved data on DVDs.  

PERCY:  Yes, we were very happy we had a post already written.  Sometimes getting your days confused works out for the best. At least in this case it did.

The Pet Parade is hosted by Rascal and Roscoe.  It is co-hosted by Bionic Basil, Barking From the Bayou, Love is being owned by a husky, and us (Jan's Funny Farm).

Who is this week's Featured Favorite?  Check it out at Rascal & Rocco's. 

There are two parts to the blog hop - your blog url and social media.

A Picture Is Worth

Rusty:  Well, yesterday we were going to write a proper post for today, but life happened and now Jan is hopping mad!

Marcus:  Hopping mad?  I haven't seen her hopping.  Creaking and groaning in this too-cold weather, yes, but not hopping.

Sam:  That's just an expression, Marcus.  It means Jan is very upset about something.  She's not actually jumping up and down, red-faced and shouting swear words.

Marcus:  She's not hopping mad because I ripped a hole in the brand new mattress for my crate and pulled out the stuffing while she was gone yesterday, is she? 

Cameron:  Let's just say you are lucky she has something else to concentrate on.  She is very unhappy with you.

Marcus:  So what is she hopping mad about?

Percy:  After she started the computer and downloaded email yesterday, she left the room, came back and our DSL modem was dead.  She did everything to revive it but it had lilies growing out of its chest.  It was that dead!

Marcus:  Why would she be hopping because the modem died.  It wasn't faking, was it?  I mean, when it's your time, it's your time, whether you're a lamp or a modem.

Micah:  Jan knows things die all the time.  Usually when you need them the most, but she's not hopping mad because it died.

Merci:  Ordinarily she would have to order a new modem and wait for it to arrive so we could get back online, but, fortunately, she had a reconditioned backup available.  This one didn't have a software CD with it, so Jan was relieved she wouldn't have to install our Internet Service Provider's (ISP which shall remain nameless for the moment) software like she did in 2005.  It caused her a bunch of problems and she uninstalled it many years ago.

Marcus:  I still don't see what the problem is.  It sounds like everything worked out well.

Buddy:  Jan started to install the modem and decided to call tech support to walk her through it since she didn't have any instructions.  She reached a nice lady who told her that although our ISP  COULD set us up without their software, they won't unless the software won't install.  So Jan was forced to download their software from the internet.

Marcus:  I still don't see the problem.

Cyndi:  It opened IE.  Jan never uses IE, only Firefox and then not only did the software not install, it sent the computer into toxic shock and it went black, gray, had flashing icons in the tray, opened Firefox and Thunderbird, tried to get Jan to take her av bar off IE, etc., etc., etc.

Marcus:  So what happened then?

Percy:  The lady said, "It's locked up your computer.  You're going to have to do a hard shutdown."  (Translation - crash!)   There were problems getting it back up again since it didn't shut down properly.

Buddy:  And after it was up, the lady cheerfully said, "This has never happened before."  Really?  So why do they only do set up from their end when the software won't install?  You guessed it.  She finished the setup (without the software) while Jan checked to be sure the ISP's software was NOT installed on the computer.

Rusty:  Jan is hopping mad because she went through their software problems in 2005 with a different computer.  How up to date is their technology and why do they try to force their software onto customers' computers when it isn't necessary and can wreak such havoc?

Buddy:  Jan won't let us repeat what she said she'd like to do to our ISP for this needless terrifying experience.  But she did say a picture is worth a thousand words.

Note:  Earl and his human mom were featured in Dog's Monthly magazine in May and thus are 1 of 12 entries in the Best Friend contest regarding their special bond and story.  We all know how strong the bond is between a dog and his human.  If you would, please stop by and read his short post and vote for Earl and his human.  All it takes is a one-time short email.  The information is there.  The prize is a 6 month supply of dog food, which he will donate to a dog rescue.  His blog is Earl's World.  (He doesn't know we are adding this to our post, but we think it would be wonderful if he won.)

Pulling His Ear

Marcus and his ears.

Percy:  Jan hogged the computer yesterday.

Marcus:  I still don't understand why.

Cyndi:  Because she's selfish.

Buddy:  I thought it was to make a backup image of our computer.

Micah:  Yes, but how long does that take?

Rusty:  Not terribly long but she did some other things too.

Merci:  Yes, she ate all the cookies.

Cameron:  She also defrauded the hard drive.

Sam:  She what?  Oh, you mean she defragged it.

Marcus:  Defrauded.  Defragged.  What's the difference?

Cyndi:  About 20 gigabytes.

Marcus:  What?

Cameron:  It's simple, Marcus.  We have a 2 terrabyte drive and it was 2 % fragmented.  That meant most of our pictures were in fragments and needed to be pasted together again.  You wouldn't want anyone to see a photo of you with an ear missing, would you? 

Marcus:  *paw to ear*  No, not one of my handsome ears!

Buddy:  So Jan got out the scotch tape and put all the pictures back together; however, she ran out of tape and there is still one photo with an ear missing.

Marcus:  Noooooooo!  She needs to buy more scotch tape.  I love my ears.  They're a matched set!

Percy:  Calm down, Marcus.  They're just pulling your ear ... er, leg. 

Marcus:  What a relief.  I can't appear in public without both ears.  No one would recognize me.

Breaking Windows

Old pic of Buddy wearing cone while ... um, springing a leak.

Marcus:  I don't always agree with Buddy but this time I think he's right to pee in public.

Cyndi:  It's never nice to pee in public unless you're a furry, so I guess it's okay to post this.

Cameron:  Well, it's more polite than what Jan said about the weekend.  She didn't say pee.  It sounded more like ... um, can I say crap?

Merci:  Whoa!  Just because Jan said it doesn't mean we should repeat it.  That's on our bad word list and she'll wash your mouth out if she hears you repeat it.

Percy:  Actually what she said referred to windows, not the weekend. 

Marcus:  What's the matter with the windows?  Did Jan break them?

Buddy:  No, not the windows, Marcus.  Windows, our computer's operating system.

Marcus:  Our computer has windows?

Sam:  If it does, it won't if Jan sees them.  She'd probably put a rock through them.  They belong to someone named Microsoft and Jan isn't happy with him either. 

Rusty:  Dare I ask what Microsoft did?

Micah:  As you know, our hard drive crashed and we were offline for a week.  Mr. Doug came over Wednesday to install a new one and Murphy's Law kicked in.  It was quite a pain, but he got the backup image drive copied to the new drive and we got to post Thursday and Friday. 

Rusty:  I remember that.  I still don't understand why we haven't posted since. 

Sam:  Because when the hard drive died, we lost all data that wasn't on the backup image drive, so Jan has to remember what we've all done since October 2nd and recover it from here, there and wherever it's hiding. 

Merci:  She waited two days to be sure the computer would act nice, then she installed the 18 important updates Windows kept telling her we needed.

Percy:  Everything went well.  Windows was finishing the installation.  Jan walked into the kitchen for a glass of water and returned to find a black screen telling her to pick from a boot list it wouldn't let her access. 

Cyndi:  She called Mr. Doug in a panic!  He knows how to access the forbidden regions of the computer.  Our hard drive was there, it was working, but Windows refused to recognize it and it would not let us access our operating system.

Cameron: I got a bit dizzy watching Mr. Doug go around in circles trying to find a way to access our hard drive again.

Buddy:  He finally found a way, but it took a repair disk and reconnecting the backup image drive to reach our new one.  He again set it as the default.  And before disconnecting the backup image drive again, he ran a new backup.  Windows, however, says it did not make a backup, it reverted to earlier settings and the backup image is no longer any good.  We actually have no idea what Windows has done where.

Micah:  Jan was so stressed, she couldn't sleep Friday night.  Is this going to become a regular thing whenever she has to do a Windows update?  She hasn't done anything this weekend, didn't even have the energy to dress yesterday morning.  And she didn't want anything to do with the computer!

Percy:  Mr. Doug sent us a link today.  Evidently some have had a problem with four of the latest 18 updates and one non-security one. (Link included in case you are interested -  http://www.infoworld.com/article/2834535/security/four-more-botched-black-tuesday-patches-kb-3000061-kb-2984972-kb-2949927-and-kb-2995388.html)   


Marcus:  Jan just finished breakfast at 2 pm Saturday when Mr. Doug dropped off half a pepperoni pizza on his way home. Did she share it?  Nope!  She ate it for breakfast "dessert".  It sure smelled good, but all we got was a little piece of crust each.    

Buddy:  Jan is still wiped out but she did turn on the computer so we can do a post.  This doesn't make up for her pigging all the pizza, though.  I think one of you should tell her that!

Marcus:  Why don't you tell her, Buddy?

Buddy:  I ... uh, she ... Mind your own business, Marcus!