Friday, April 06, 2018

Butt Warmer Skillet

Merci:  Aha!  Jan finally caught you hanging out in her little iron skillet.  You are in trouble now!

Micah:  Oh, she's known about this for some time.  She just finally caught it with the camera.

Merci:  Why are you sitting there anyway?

Micah:  It keeps my butt warmer than just sitting on the stove top.

Merci:  But then Jan has to wash the skillet every time she wants to use it  Don't you feel the least bit guilty you're making her do extra work?

Micah:  No, it keeps her out of trouble.

Merci:  In that case, can you find me a step ladder and a slightly larger skillet?  I'm old.  I could use a butt warmer too.

Jan: It will be some time before the Mousebreath interviews can resume.  The only reason we are finally back online is thanks to the kindness and generosity of Mr. Doug. (Thank you!)  All our pictures, data, bookmarks, emails, addresses are on the old computer's hard drive so we don't have anything to work with.  Until Mr. Doug has time to see if he can work some magic, we won't know if they can be retrieved.    

Except for the Hipster Cats and Marg's Animals, we can't remember what cats were on the interview list.

Also, with this hand injury (Razor Sharp Teeth), I'm going to have to stop trying to type unless necessary.  It's just too painful and basically unreadable anyway.  I believe you can read this, bit it's taken a lot of extra time and retyping to make it readable. 

Please be patient with us.

We are joining the Pet Parade hosted by Rascal and Rocco and co-hosted by Bionic Basil and Barking from the Bayou.

Tuesday, April 03, 2018

Razor Sharp Teeth

Micah: Okay, Marcus, the other Funny Farmers are asking questions.  Start explaining to them. 

Marcus:  Explaining what?

Rusty:  Explaining why Jan is limping around on our new computer which she is far from finished setting up for our convenience.

Marcus:  Oh, that.  I was wondering the same thing myself.  She used to be a touch typist.  Now she can't find the keys and has to keep correcting, correcting, correcting.

Micah:  That's because she has only one and a fraction hands.

Marcus:  Either of you know what happened?

Rusty:  It just so happens I do.  I was taking a sun bath in the dog pen at the time.  You bit her, Marcus!

Marcus:  How can you say that?  I've never bitten anyone in my life!

Rusty:  I saw you do it.  Jan got tired of throwing your ball overhand because it spewed mud (dirt and saliva) on the house siding that she just washed and all over her, including in her face and hair.  She started throwing the ball underhand.

Micah:   Which brought the ball down to your level.  You always turn and run when Jan throws the ball, but this time -

Marcus:  Wait a minute.  You weren't even there!

Micah:  Rusty told me all about it and I also heard Jan talking on the phone..

Rusty:  You're so easily excited.  After a number of throws, you suddenly realized the ball was close enough to grab and instead of turning to run and catch it, you leaped forward.  You did catch the ball when Jan let it loose, but Jan's fingers were still attached and your jaws closed over them.  You scraped some fingers but your razor sharp teeth did a number on one. See?

Marcus:  I did that? Are you sure?

Rusty:  Yes. The dark red is blood.  The orange is iodine.  The injury happened Saturday.  This picture was taken yesterday, Easter Sunday..

Micah:  Why did you think Miss Pat asked Jan if she has forgiven you yet?

Marcus:  I thought is was because I tore the ball into little pieces when Jan suddenly stopped playing and disappeared.  I was bored.

Rusty:  The outside ball wasn't that important.  It was barely held together with duct tape because your teeth are so sharp. 

Marcus:  Jan didn't mention I was responsible for her hand injury,  Do you think she'll ever forgive me? 

Micah:  No!

Rusty:  Oh, stop crying, Marcus!  He was just kidding.  Jan knows it was a freak accident, so there's nothing to forgive.

Micah:  Why don't you go offer to finish setting up the computer so we can get back online? 

Marcus:  What a good idea!  I'll go do that now.

Rusty:  Are you nuts?  Marcus doesn't know the first thing about computers. 

Micah:  No, but Jan needs help typing.  Surely he can't bloody a keyboard!  Or can he?