Tuesday, February 28, 2017

A Goose in the Closet

Rusty:  What are we writing about today?

Micah:  I don't know.  What do you want to write about?

Rusty:  I have no idea.  Preferably something quiet.

Micah:  I know what you mean.  My ears are still ringing from the almost non-stop coughing and honking that have been going on around here for so long.

Rusty:  Too long.  I'm starting to think Marcus is hiding one of his goose friends in a closet or under the bed.

Micah:  Yes, he's the only one around here that is getting any rest.  He can sleep through anything!

Rusty:  We could keep him awake by making him a recording of Jan honking and hacking and then play it at full volume.

Micah:  Nah, better not.  We'd all have to listen to it.

Rusty:  Not if we lock him outside in the dog pen and play the recording for him.

Micah:  But it would disturb the neighbors and that could become embarrassing.

Rusty:  How so?

Micah: I've heard humans get embarrassed when the police come knocking at the door.

Rusty:  Oh, right.  So what should we do?

Micah:  Do you hear that?

Rusty:  What?  I don't hear anything.

Micah:  Exactly. Either Marcus let the goose out of the closet or Jan is taking a moment to breathe.

Rusty:  Did we ever decide what we're going to post about today?

Micah:  I don't have any suggestions.  Maybe we should just skip posting today and have a nap instead.

Monday, February 27, 2017

Cyndi Takes Charge

Cyndi:  All right, everyone, listen up!  Today is going to be a good day around here. There will be no bad behavior, no knocking things to the floor for Jan to not pick up, no breaking anything, no accidents, no arguments, definitely no fighting, and no backtalk!  Understood?

Buddy:  Don't you think you are overstepping your place, Cyndi?  You aren't in charge here!

Cyndi: I am snoopervisor for today!  So pull up your britches, slap a smile on your face, and try to behave for just one day!

Buddy:  What's the occasion?  Are we expecting a visitor?

Cyndi:  This house is a mess!  Marcus, roll the vacuum out of the closet.  No, never mind, you'll just waste time chasing and biting it.  Instead, grab the broom.  Buddy, can you reach the sink to wash the dishes?

Buddy:  What?

Cyndi:  Merci, tie a duster around your tail and dust the low furniture, such as books and bookshelves.  Taylor, find the small duster and do the taller furniture.  Percy, since you and Rusty knocked many of the small items off the desk onto the floor, you can pick things up from the floor and put them back where they belong.  Micah, you can stand by and use the dishwater Buddy splashes to mop the kitchen floor.  There's a brand new mop near the sink.

Buddy:  And what will you do?

Cyndi:  I will supervise.  Otherwise, Marcus will play bitey with the broom and the rest of you will goof off.

Buddy:  What's the occasion?  Are we expecting guests?

Cyndi:  I hope not! The house needs a good cleaning.

Buddy:  Cleaning is Jan's job.

Cyndi:  But Jan has been sick for over a week and someone has to whip this place into shape. It's looking more and more like a used tissue factory.  Do you want Jan to get well?

Buddy:  Of course I do.

Cyndi:  Then let's help her so she can concentrate on getting well.  Then we can go back to being slobs again and Jan can return to being our servant.

Buddy:  Okay, when you put it that way.  I'm tired of listening to her coughing and honking.  I haven't had a decent night's sleep since she got sick.

Cyndi:  None of us have, so let's surprise her.  The idea of Marcus wielding a broom and Micah mopping the floor makes me laugh.  Perhaps it will have the same effect on Jan.

Buddy:  And Jan keeps saying laughter is good medicine.  Cyndi, you're brilliant.

Cyndi:  I know. But remind me of that when Marcus sweeps the dirt under the washing machine, or Percy yells "lawsuit" because Merci hit him in the snoot with her duster, or Micah claims he should be on Disability because he slipped on some soapy water.

Buddy:  I guess your job is harder than mine.  I think I'll go wash some dishes so Micah can swab the floor.

Many of you know our old friends Dezi & Raena - service cats to their mom Audra, who is disabled but spunky.  Back in January they did a post on some expensive dental work Audra needs to alleviate pain and infection.  This is not cosmetic; it is a serious health and pain issue.  We decided to share a link to their first post on the subject - Put That Finger In My Mouth and See What Happens.  The post contains links to their youcaring fundraiser and to their paypal.  If you could spare a few dollars, it would really help toward the first step in the journey.  And please pray for them and their needs. 

Friday, February 24, 2017

You Move Uptown

Micah:  Some of you might remember a recent post called Squatters Rights.  My closing remark was, "Oh, good.  I can't wait to see where we're moving next."  This is where we moved. 

Percy:  No, this is where I moved after Micah stole my soft, warm bed.

Micah:  Actually, this is where we moved.  (The gates on the bed are to keep the dogs off it during the day.)  I am lying in the big sun puddle and Percy is on a pillow with his back to me.

Percy:  Don't try anything.  I have eyes in the back of my head. 

Micah:  I have him rattled.  He's blustering.  He's also lying.  I checked.  He does not have eyes in the back of his head. 

Percy:  Actually, he's right.  It's his scent that gives him away.  I can smell him from a mile away.

Micah:  Percy, you're exaggerating.  Since I moved in, we've never been a mile away from each other.

Percy:  We should be.  I'll stay here and you move uptown.

Micah:  I'm very comfortable here.  You can't be comfortable, though.  Would you like me to move onto the other pillow so you don't have to crane your head over your shoulder?

Percy:  No!  I can keep an eye on you just fine from here.

Micah:  Okay, suit yourself, but I can't wait to see where well be moving next.

We are joining the Pet Parade hosted by Rascal and Rocco, Basil the Bionic Cat, Barking from the Bayou and Owned by a husky.

Thursday, February 23, 2017

Bring Your Own Meal Dining

Marcus:  Look at this.  Merci is eating in my Private Dining Car. 

Merci:  Hey, I kind of like eating in here.   It's roomy and private.

Marcus:  You're supposed to be eating in the kitchen with Buddy.  I'm the only one allowed to come eat in my PDC.

Merci: Jan put my food bowl in here because I wasn't eating.  She got upset with me and I can't eat when I'm upset.

Marcus:   You're too sensitive.  Jan told you to sit and wait and instead you stood and started eating.

Merci:  You do that all the time.

Marcus:  Yes, but Jan expects that of me.  You're supposed to be the well-behaved dog.

Merci:  I am.  Usually. But sometimes I get a little confused and when Jan says "no" I can't eat, so now when that happens, she puts my bowl in your PDC so I can eat without you guys stealing my food.  If you notice, after the first dining-in experience, I prefer to dine out with my head in.

Marcus:  So it's okay to steal my Private Dining Car but not okay for me to steal your food?

Merci:  Exactly!  I mean, no.  I'm only borrowing it.  I borrow your bed all the time.

Marcus:  Yes, and I've been meaning to speak to you about that.  I don't mind you borrowing my bed, but you've been leaving floofy fur behind.  You have such a thick winter coat, you need a good brushing.

Merci:  Okay, I'll have Jan get right on it, just as soon as I finish breakfast.

Marcus:   I'm really thankful for my Private Dining Car, but I only eat in there on special occasions.  Merci has discovered the joy of savoring a meal in a fine dining room.  I'll have to see if there is any interest in others renting it for the occasional bring-your-own meal dining.

Merci:  I've never heard of a bring-your-own-meal dining concept.

Marcus:  That's because I've just invented it.  I could make millions!

Merci:  Or you could be hauled off in a straight jacket.

We always have much to be thankful for, so we are joining the Thankful Thursday blog hop at Brian's Home.

Wednesday, February 22, 2017

Greenies for Oral Health

Merci:  Jan said I look so old and lonely here she wants to cry, but I think I look very floofy and trim for my age.

Buddy:  You're supposed to tell everyone what we are reviewing today, not go fishing for compliments.

Merci:  Right. Today we are reviewing the grain free Greenies treats for a dog's oral health.  They are regular size for dogs 25 - 50 pounds.  I'm under and Marcus is over that weight; however, we all ate them. They are not suitable for dogs under 5 pounds or under 6 months of age.

Marcus:  This is what one looks like. Chewy says the key benefits are --

  •   They're the #1 vet-recommended dental chew.
  •   Complete oral care is important for your dog's total body health and can add years to their lifespan.
  •   Provides a total oral-health solution as it cleans dogs teeth by fighting both plaque and tartar buildup, freshening breath and maintaining healthier teeth and gums.
  •   Highly palatable, low-fat formula with an irresistible taste made from soluble, natural ingredients like chickpeas and potato that break down quickly for safe and easy digestion.
  •   Regular chews for dogs 25-50 pounds.

Buddy:  How do they taste?  We haven't had any complaints.  We each had one before we started this post and that finished the bag. 

 Marcus:  I'm being such a good boy as I wait for mine I deserve at least two.  They're made from -

dried chickpeas, gelatin, glycerin, powdered cellulose, dried potato, water, lecithin, natural poultry flavor, a bunch of minerals and some vitamins.  The whole list is under "Ingredients" on the Chewy Greenies treats page.

Merci:  We've only had four each within about two weeks time so we can't verify the Greenies help with oral health, but we can attest to their appeal to canines.

The product was provided by Chewy for this review.  We were not paid and Chewy is not responsible for the content.

Tuesday, February 21, 2017

Marcus the Great Swampi

Marcus:  I am Marcus, the Great Swampi.

Cyndi:  I think you mean the Great Swami.

Marcus:  Okay, I am the Great Swami.  I see all.  I know everything.

Cyndi:  Good, then you can tell me what happened to the treat stash I was saving for a cold night.

Marcus:  It was eaten by ... I'm sorry, I can't tell who it was.

Cyndi:  You can't tell because you can't see, or you can't tell because you're the guilty party?

Marcus:  I have a question for you.  If you can answer, I will try again to see who ate your stash.

Cyndi:  Okay.

Marcus:  Why did Jan put roller skates on her rocking chair?

Cyndi:  Because the ice skates were too wobbly?

Marcus:  What ice skates?  I asked about roller skates?  So why?

Cyndi:  I don't believe Jan put roller skates on anything.  She likes her feet on the ground!

Marcus:  Sorry, bad example.  Why did the teenager next door put roller skates on her rocking chair?

Cyndi:  She can't.  They don't have a rocking chair.

Marcus: Okay, why did the teenager next door put roller skates on OUR rocking chair? 

Cyndi:  Oh, that's easy.  Because she wanted to rock and roll.  So who ate my stash?

Taylor:  Hi, Marcus, I see you're dressed like a giraffe again.  Hey, don't go.  I was joking.

Marcus:  You broke my concentration.  I need to go lie down.

Cyndi:  Now I'll never know who ate my treat stash.

Taylor:  Oh, that's easy.  Marcus ate it last night.

Monday, February 20, 2017

Tunnel Traffic Jam

Buddy:  Jan owes us lots of treats.  Because of her we didn't even get a post up before we went to bed last night.

Percy:  And we haven't had much sleep the last few days either.  All we hear is cough, cough, cough, hack, hack, hack, honk, honk, honk.  It's like living inside a tunnel during a traffic jam with everyone blowing their horn.

Buddy  And the germs.  I can't believe the germs she's spreading.  The least she could do so we can rest and not catch her germs is to go outside and sleep in the doghouse.  Most of her should be able to fit in there.  It's not like it's raining or anything.

Percy:  We hope your peeps are all well so you furries don't have to go through this.  We furries are exhausted!   

Buddy:  We need ear plugs.  Desperately.  Before we all go deaf.

Friday, February 17, 2017

Squatters Rights

Percy:  Remember this photo from just a week ago?  then I was happy and comfy and warm.  I was also the resident of the knitted hat and scarf basket.  (Chatting With Percy)

Micah:  And then he got up and moved out and I moved in.

Percy:  I did not move out!  When I went to the kitchen for some kibble, you decided to become a squatter.

Micah:  I am not a squatter.  The bed was empty and I -

Percy:  Took advantage of my absence.

Micah:  And I checked out the residence to see if I'd like to share it with you. 

Percy:  You stole my favorite bed.

Micah: We can take turns enjoying the warmth and softness of Miss Pam's lovely knitted bed.

Percy:  Not with your scent on it, I won't!

Micah:  Okay, then, if you're vacating the premises, I'm moving in.  Would you mind cleaning up after yourself?  You've left some fur behind.

Percy:  You can keep the fur.  I'll find myself another bed somewhere.

Micah:  Oh, good.  I can't wait to see where we're moving next.

We are joining the Pet Parade hosted by Rascal and Rocco, Basil the Bionic Cat, Barking from the Bayou and Owned by a husky.

Thursday, February 16, 2017

A Child-Proof Blog

Buddy:  Hey, Micah, I have a joke for you.

Micah:  I hope its a clean one.  We're a child-proof blog.

Cyndi:  I think you mean a child-friendly blog. 

Buddy:  Well, I have been pondering the subject of Google and I have come to a conclusion.

Cyndi:  And that would be?

Buddy:  Google is a female.

Micah:   Google has more services than I'm aware of and we use a few of them, such as this blog.  It is so hard working I can picture it chopping wood for the winter.  Why in the world would you think Google is a female?

Cyndi:  Because it can multi-task without a second thought, work all day without a break, respond to multiple requests without a breakdown, and call out for pizza when the in-laws show up unexpectedly!

Buddy:  Uh, actually no. I was thinking more along the lines that every time I try to do a search, it doesn't let me finish a sentence before making suggestions.

Micah:  I don't know about you, Buddy, but I'm sure thankful Cyndi has a sense of humor.

Buddy:  I am too.  I hope that's what she's looking for in the kitchen.

We are joining the Thankful Thursday blog hop at Brian's Home.

Wednesday, February 15, 2017

Frankie and Ernie on Rachel Ray

Marcus:  As you can see, Jan is being mean again.  She's fiddling with the camera while I am sitting in my Private Dining Car dying of starvation while waiting to eat my breakfast. 

Buddy:  I don't know what Marcus is complaining about.  Merci and I are waiting too.

Merci:  We are  writing our second post on the new Rachel Ray Peak.  It's just a short update to let you know how we're doing on it.  First, do we like it?  Yes, we do! 

Marcus:  We are eating the Northern Woodlands Recipe with Turkey, Duck & Quail.  There is also Open Range Recipe with Beef, Venison & Lamb.

Buddy: The Northern Woodlands ingredients are ---

        Beef, Chicken Meal, Dried Peas, Whole Dried Potatoes, Pea Flour, Pea Protein, Chicken Fat (Preserved with Mixed Tocopherols), Lamb Meal, Whole Flaxseed, Venison, Lamb, Menhaden Fish Meal, Dried Plain Beet Pulp, Pork Gelatin, Natural Flavor, Sweet Potatoes, Cranberries and vitamins and minerals.

Marcus:  Jan says she hasn't noted any changes of interest, but we've only been eating this for two weeks. 

Buddy:  She did say she is thinking of cutting your portions in half since you are now screeching at even higher ear- splitting decibels and tugging on the leash so hard and often Jan is both deaf and exhausted before she gets off the porch.  She had you almost behaving. You do not need more energy!

Marcus:  She would actually starve me?  I'm just having fun.

Merci:  Marcus hates that Cyndi keeps stealing from our bowls when Jan is fixing our meals! He thinks he's in charge of who eats what and when.

Marcus:  I'm finished Jan.  Can you unlock the door to my cell now so I can check Buddy's and Merci's bowls for crumbs?

Buddy:  We can't finish this second post without including the hearty recommendation left by Frankie Furter and brother Ernie on our first post of the Rachel Ray Peak on February 2, 2017.

YEAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa fur YOU... and if you look on that bag it will say it is manufactured in MEADVILLE, Pencil Vane E Ah... which is just up the road from our Place... and WE have been to the Factory and the Main Office and we gotta say... OMD the CARE and Caution and PreCAUTIONS that they take there are OUTSTANDING. It is soooooooo clean and Neat and Sanitary...
OMD we are THRILLED that YOU gotted to try some stuffs made Right near our house... WE are SOOOOO glad that you liked it...

Merci:  We're glad to know the food was made with care, guys.  It makes Jan feel good about feeding it to us.

The food for this review was provided by Chewy.  We were not paid and are solely responsible for the content. 

Tuesday, February 14, 2017

Valentine's Day 2017

Cyndi:  Hey, how come Percy and Rusty are the only Funny Farmers on our Valentine card?

Merci:  They're both cats.  We dogs aren't even represented.

Taylor:  And they're both boys. We girls have been cheated.

Micah:  Calm down.  Jan didn't have time to make us a new graphic so she used an old one.

Buddy:  Yes, she just framed what she had available.

Marcus:  I don't see me.  Where am I?  Is Rusty blocking me with all that floof?

Percy:  Actually you didn't even exist when this was created. Neither did Taylor.

Rusty:  Can we stop bickering long enough to smile and wish everyone a Happy Valentine's Day?

*big toothy grins*

Happy Valentine's Day from ALL of us at Jan's Funny Farm!

Monday, February 13, 2017

The Funny Farmers Guest Blog

Rusty:  Pssst, I have some exciting news for you today.  We're not here.

Buddy:  What do you mean we're not here?  Of course we're here  Where else would we be?

Rusty:  Introducing ourselves in a guest post over at "We're All About the Cats".

Buddy:  But we're not all about the cats.  Merci, Marcus and I are dogs.

Rusty:  That's okay.  Yesterday they posted the introduction we wrote --- Meet Jan's Funny Farm - A Place Where Farm Animals Chat

Buddy:  Oh, so that's why Jan put this psychedelic portrait together.  I didn't realize we were doing a guest post. I thought we were writing a book.  I guess I had better go see what we said.

Rusty:  Our friends are invited over to We're All About the Cats to "meet" us and see what we said too.

Friday, February 10, 2017

Chatting With Percy

Percy:  Zzzzzzzz.

Merci:  Percy must really be tired.  He's still sleeping.  Hasn't moved in hours.

Percy:  Zzzzzz.

Rusty:  He seems to be making up for lost time.  

Merci:  Lost time; where did he lose it?

Rusty:  When Jan laid her knit hat and scarf in the basket to keep Percy from sleeping on it, Percy just moved with them, but he was afraid if he closed his eyes, Micah would steal his new bed.  

Percy:  Zzzzz.

Merci:  He certainly has taken over that basket.  He's curled there morning and evening.

Rusty:  He seems to be comfortable and he does get up for meals.

Merci:  And he does wake up whenever Micah gets on the desk to sit in the window.

Rusty:  Yes, he does.  The growling is a dead giveaway he's awake.

Percy:  Zzzzz.

Merci:  I guess Miss Pam will be pleased to know Percy loves the hat and scarf she knitted for Jan. Jan just hasn't had the heart to take them back.

Rusty: I guess we should move along so we don't wake him.  It's been nice chatting with you.

Merci:  Same here. 

Percy:  Zzzzz.

We are joining the Pet Parade hosted by Rascal and Rocco, Basil the Bionic Cat, Barking from the Bayou and Owned by a husky.

Thursday, February 09, 2017

Playing Fetch

Marcus:  Remember my new basketball, the one I deflated within two minutes of receiving it?  (A Basketball for Marcus)

Taylor:  Yes.

Marcus:  Well, don't ever let anyone try to tell you everything has to be brand new to be fun.  Old toys are just as exciting.

Taylor:  Old?  The basketball is only a week and a half old.

Marcus:  Age is relative.  For example, this old basketball has plenty of life left in it.  Look at how much fun I'm having playing fetch with Jan.

Taylor:  Yes, I've seen you two through the window.  She tries to pick it up with the end of one finger because it's covered in muddy saliva. 

Marcus:  But look at what a great toy it is.  Not only can I fetch it and catch it, I can practice my hunting skills on it too.

Taylor:  It must be nice to have a toy that's so versatile.

Marcus:  Yes, I love my old basketball.  It's a bit ratty but it's easy to catch.

Taylor:  A bit ratty?  Have you noticed there isn't much left of it?

Marcus:  No problem.  Jan will buy me a new one when this one disintegrates.

Taylor:  Somehow I doubt that.  But if it makes you happy, dream on.

Marcus:  Thanks.  I always say we should be thankful for what we have. 

Taylor:  No, you don't.  Jan says we should be thankful for what we have.  She also says you should be thankful for all the toys you've had that you've destroyed.

Marcus:  Hey, I never destroyed a toy in my life.  Well, except for the bear with no eyes and no squeaker.  And the beach ball I punctured in less than a second.  Oh, and maybe the ...

We are joining the Thankful Thursday blog hop at Brian's Home.

Wednesday, February 08, 2017

Solid Gold Purrfect Pairings

Rusty:  Hey, how come Cyndi gets to lick our breakfast mixing bowl?

Cyndi:  I was closest to Jan when she finished dishing up our food.  First come, first served.

Micah:  This month we're trying the Solid Gold Purrfect Pairings Savory Mousse with chicken and goat's milk.

Chewy says the Key Benefits of this food are --

    A holistic grain and gluten free food for cats and kittens of all life stages.
    Unique flavor combo of real chicken and goat milk.
    Picky cats will love the light mousse texture.
    Goat milk provides a highly palatable, easily digestible source of essential nutrients.
    Each Purrfect Pairings Mousse contains 78% moisture, making it a great dietary source of water.

Micah:  This is what it looks like in the container before Jan adds water.  Yes, Jan adds water to anything she can that we eat. 

Micah:  This is what it looks like when it's almost gone.

Taylor:  I'm not as crazy about it as Cyndi, Micah and Rusty are but I did eat most of mine.

Cyndi:  I like it fine.  Can I have Taylor's leftovers?

Rusty:  Percy isn't crazy about it either or he'd be eating faster.  I hope he doesn't mind sharing.

Percy:  No, I'm not sharing with you, Marcus.  Just because I'm working my way through it more slowly than you did, Rusty, doesn't mean I'm sharing with you either.

Cyndi:  So there were three pros and 2 semi-cons on the first taste test.  It's growing on Taylor and Percy, though, with each breakfast.

Marcus:  If you'd share some with me, I could help break the tie on the Solid Gold Purrfect Pairings Savory Mousse.

Cyndi:  A preliminary vote of three and two is a tie?  Just where have you been voting? 

Chewy supplied us with the food for this review.  We were not paid for our participation and Chewy is not responsible for what we're posting.

Tuesday, February 07, 2017

Shut Off the Power

Rusty:  I'm so embarrassed.  I hope no one assumes we're anything like Jan. 

Micah:  Yes, we still have our wits about us, but I don't know if we'll retain them if we keep hanging around with her.

Rusty:  Just yesterday Cyndi posted a story of Jan's absentmindedness with time.  (A Clock and a Calendar)

Micah:  Yesterday afternoon Mr. Doug came by.  He asked if she is sure the UPS (backup battery) will shut down the computer if the electric goes off.

Rusty:  The conversation went something like this -

     Jan:  Yes, it will. 

     Mr. Doug:  How do you know?

     Jan:  It tells me it will.

     Mr. Doug:  It tells you?

     Jan: Yes, it does a periodic self-test.

     Mr. Doug: And you believe it?  Have you tested it yourself to be sure it will work?

     Jan:  No-o-o-o.  Should I try it now?

     Mr. Doug:  Yes, shut off the power and see what happens.

     Jan walked around behind the computer and shut off the power.

     Mr. Doug:  *wide-eyed*  Wow, you must not have any software on that UPS.

     Jan:  Why, what happened?

     Mr. Doug:  It didn't shut down; it just went off.

     Jan:  That's not possible.  It always tells me when the electric goes off and it switches power sources.

     Mr. Doug:  When was that, Windows 7, or XP?  Did Windows 10 install the UPS?

     Jan:  I'm sure it did.  It's supposed to update all the hardware.

     Mr. Doug:  Well, you need to do a search and find if there is an update.

     Jan:  I don't understand it.  It always does the bells and whistles when the electric so much as blinks.  I don't understand why it didn't even tell us it had switched to battery power?

     Mr. Doug:  It didn't switch.  It just died.

     Light bulb switches on.

     Jan:  Oh, no, it couldn't shut down!  I forgot I was supposed to pull the plug from the wall.  I pushed the button to turn off the UPS. 

Rusty: Whatever Jan has might be contagious.  I need a nap to renew what's left of my mind.

Micah:  It's not that bad, Rusty.  Jan just did what she was told.  She shut off the power.