Micah is Dying of Hunger

 
Micah:  Where is Jan?  She's late again.  She is never on time.  She's always late feeding us.  We could die of thirst and starve to death while she is off gallivanting around having a fun time.  We all need to get together and give her a good dressing down!

Well, it's about time you finally showed up again!  There's no kibble in the dish or water in the bowl.  I've been waiting  hours for you to return home and refill them.. I could have had kidney failure from dehydration or starved to death from lack of food.  You need to think of someone besides yourself once in a while!

Jan:  What?  I just walked around the house to toss a bag in the trashcan.

Micah:   Okay, I'll forgive you this time, but make sure this doesn't happen again!

Marcus Has A Plan

Buddy:  Well, here we are in the doghouse again.

Marcus:  Doghouse?  What doghouse?

Merci:  It's a figure of speech, Marcus.  It means we are in trouble again.

Marcus:  What did we do?

Buddy:  Merci and I were excited and rowdy.  You tried to take Jan out!

Marcus:  Out where?

Merci:  Out of commission.  As in down on the sidewalk being dragged.

Marcus:  Not me!  I've been an angel all day.

Buddy:  Are you denying when those two loose dogs came running across the street at us you went wild and started leaping around like a bull moose in a tub of seltzer water?

Marcus:  I certainly do deny it.  And I didn't see you two behaving yourselves either.

Merci:  Aha, so you do admit it!

Marcus:  I admit nothing.  Besides it all worked out in the end, didn't it?

Buddy:  Yes, because Jan used that psychedelic water pistol she carries to squirt them in the face with water and their owner was right behind to catch them and take them back to their house.

Merci:  He apologized that they had gotten loose and Jan said she hopes we never get loose because she can't chase us.

Marcus:  So what's the problem?

Buddy:  The problem is that you get excited and your brain goes on vacation.  You could have injured Jan!

Marcus:  She would have been okay.  We would have picked her up and walked her home.  Percy would have done a cat scan to make sure she hadn't lost any important body parts in the fall, and I would have licked her wounds so she'd heal faster.

Merci:  Oh, well, just so you had a plan.

Marcus:  Of course.

Buddy:  You do know Merci was being sarcastic, don't you?



We're joining Pepi Smart Dog for today's Thankful Thursday blog hop. 

  

Storming the Doghouse

Rusty:  Jan hates me. She honestly hates me.

Buddy:  What did she do now?

Rusty:  She left me outside Wednesday.

Buddy:  But you begged to go outside.  She told you there was a storm coming and you ignored her.

Rusty:  Yes, I asked to go out in the dog pen.  But she forgot me!  She vacuumed the rug, took a shower, worked on the computer...  She didn't remember me until almost 10 PM.

Buddy:  That is forgetful.  What did you do when the storm hit?

Rusty:  What do you think I did?  I sat in the doghouse and watched the sky light up and listened to the thunder roll as the rain poured down.

Buddy:  You weren't even damp when Jan came looking for you so you were safe and dry.  I hope the next time Jan tries to keep you inside you'll do what she tells you.

Rusty:  Why?   That was exhilarating.  I haven't felt so alive since I was a kitten.

Buddy:  You were terrified, weren't you?

Rusty:  Yes.  I cowered and shook and cried for Jan to come rescue me.

Buddy:  It's okay to be afraid.  You can cry on my shoulder if you'd like.

Rusty:  Thanks, but I plan to go make Jan feel so guilty she won't ever forget me again.

Buddy:  Is it okay if I watch?

Rusty:  Of course.  I'm about to enter Stage Right.  Come watch and learn.


We are joining the Pet Parade blog hop with hosts Rascal and Rocco,  Bionic Basil, Barking From the Bayou and Love is being owned by a husky.

Winton in the Doghouse

Marcus:  Is it safe to come out yet?

Percy:  Not yet.  I'd wait a few days for Jan to calm down if I were you.

Marcus:  A few days?  I could starve to death in here.  And what about when I have to pee and ... um, you know?

Percy:  You might want to hold it.

Marcus:  Hold it?  Hold it where?

Percy:  You're taking your life in your hands if you come out.

Marcus:  But you're out.

Percy:  Ah, but there are more places I can run and hide where you wouldn't fit.

Marcus:  How long do you think it will take Jan to calm down from this weekend?

Percy:  Oh, I'd give it a month.

Marcus:  She sure was angry.  I had to cover my ears in case she said any words on the bad list that we're not supposed to use.  And when she threatened to throw the computer monitor through the window, I figured I was safer in here than out there.  Who's this guy Winton she's so angry with?

Percy:  Not Winton.  Win 10.  It's the latest Microsoft operating system and Jan said she'd like to make the idiot who created it late.  I think that means she'd like to kill Win 10.

Marcus: I think we should help her do it.  She spent most of the weekend trying to figure out how to download photos from her camera so we could post.  Win 10 won't let her just pop a card into the reader to download photos and trying to download to Picasa, which used to be a snap, now takes a looooooooooooooooong time!

Percy:  She finally found a Microsoft program already on the computer that will download faster - one she wanted to uninstall - but she can't add tags (plural) with it, so she has to use something else to tag.  Then when she tried to move June photos from the May file, all the June photos disappeared and it took a long time to find them.  And the "fun" had only started.

Marcus:  If this was a fun weekend, I must have missed something.  We didn't get to write the post we had planned.  Jan missed dinner and was so hungry she chewed nails.  She yelled at someone named Horse's Rear End because he doesn't understand that NO means NO and she doesn't want the crap trying to be forced on her.  I guess that means we're out of poop bags.

Percy:  Well, look at it this way, Marcus.  There is one ray of sunshine for you this weekend.

Marcus:  I'm trying to hide in a crate.  What could be good about that?

Percy:  For the moment, you're not the one in the doghouse.  That guy Winton is.

Sam, Rusty and Marine Seals

Psst, Sam here with good news about Rusty's occupation of the doghouse. If you remember, Jan wanted to put me in the doghouse because she thinks I was bad.  Then I wanted to push Jan in because she didn't stand on her head to leash us and thus notice Buddy's neck booboo before it got bad.  But Rusty didn't want to share the doghouse because it was unoccupied until he moved in.  He claimed squatter's rights should prevail. 

Buddy, Merci and I don't care a lick about the doghouse and we sure don't want Jan to be able to use it for a jail when we've been bad.  Not that I would ever be bad.  Jan just gets these silly notions.

So first the Nutty Ninja Squirrels showed up to offer assistance and then the Cracked Nut Chipmunk Command arrived to help.  Personally, I think they just came to eat our stash of pecans and tiny acorns  Last installment, Rusty was out of pecans and considering waving the white flag of defeat before the chipmunks and squirrels held a nutless mutiny.

But I'm Rusty's hero.  Yep, I saved his occupation.  Rumpydog commented Rusty should call in the Navy Seals.and get his butt outta there.  That gave me an idea.  I called the Navy Seals.  But they were busy and couldn't make it before April.  So I called the Marine Seals and they waddled right over. 

Yep, thanks to me, the squirrels and chipmunks are gone. Something about they can't stand the overpowering smell of fish. So Rusty has won. The doghouse is now his.

And I'm Rusty's hero.

Cracked Nut Chipmunks

Uh-oh, Rusty's plan to occupy his doghouse seems to have hit a snag.  The Cracked Nut Chipmunk Command heard he has a stash of free pecans and acorns.  They marched into the pen last night to help. (We don't believe the CNCC or the NNS care about his cause.  We think they just came for the freebies.)

Rusty's volunteer troops multiplied and he's now run out of pecans to feed them.  Sounds like he's ready to surrender before he has a mutiny on his paws and he's trapped in his doghouse.

Any of you have a white flag for Rusty to wave?  Or some pecans you'd be willing to donate to his cause?   Rusty has occupied through the wind and rain and without any privacy for his litter pan.

We hope his occupation doesn't end in disaster.  As nutty as Rusty is, we were secretly hoping he would win. 

Voting is open for the 2012 Nimbus Memorial St. Patrick’s Day Photo Contest over at Brian's.  There are two categories, kitty and doggy.  We entered Buddy and Sam in the doggy contest but didn't get a kitty entry made in time for that category.  Be sure to visit Brian and take a look at the entries.  And while you're there, even if you don't vote for our entry, vote.

Nutty Ninja Squirrels

There are pecans and acorns on the ground in the dog pen, so Rusty easily enlisted help from the Nutty Ninja Squirrels to protect his doghouse from invasion.

Sam: That's okay with me. Now Jan can't put me in the doghouse for eating the butter. On the other paw, I won't be able to find out if Jan could fit through the entry.  I wonder if the Nutty Ninjas can be bribed to give her a shove?

Don't forget to send your entry for the 2012 Nimbus Memorial St. Patrick's Day Photo Contest to Brian by 12 noon EDT on Monday, March 12.  Voting will be on Tuesday and Wednesday.  There is a kitty category and a doggy category.  You don't need to have a blog to enter.

*******************

We don't have Wordpress but this link came in our antivirus newsletter yesterday and we thought we'd share it in case some of you WP users aren't aware of it. Since the CB was hit with a redirecting problem for the second time in a week or two (it's fixed), we need to keep each other alert and updated. Fake AV Attack Targets Wordpress Users.  This isn't what happened to the CB.  It's just a warning.

Occupation is Everything

Cotton, Cyndi, Percy & Cameron:  Hmm, we think Rusty really likes his doghouse.  Wonder if Jan would get each of  us one?  But we don't want ours outdoors in the pen.  We want ours inside the house.. 

Buddy & Mercy:  Rusty can have the old doghouse.  We've never even wanted to try it for size.

Sam:  I still think if I push hard enough, I can squeeze Jan through the entrance. 

Jan: Why are the dogs afraid of the doghouse while the dog wannabe thinks it's a palace?  I really am living on a funny farm!

Occupying Rusty's Doghouse

Hey, Rusty here again, still occupying my doghouse. 

We have another stand-off here.  Last week Jan wanted to put Sam in my doghouse because he ate half a stick of butter.  He claimed extenuating circumstances, that one of us kitties knocked the butter dish to the floor, the lid came off ... and, well, what was he to do when faced with temptation?  That's easy.  He shouldn't  have eaten forbidden food in front of Jan!

The same day - yes, the very same day Jan was caught with her thinking cap off and Sam has been trying to put Jan in my doghouse ever since.  Aside from the fact Jan wouldn't fit through the entrance, this is private property and I'm guarding it.  The dogs had their chance to claim it, but they're all afraid of it.

Do you remember when Buddy was wearing the cone and he cone-butted everything as hard as he could to get it off which destroyed the protective strip around the plastic?  Jan had to take the cone off and walk him with a harness because his neck had a big bloody owie.  It didn't take long before he was dragging her down the road cause the harness strengthens his chest muscles.  When his neck healed, Jan put him back in a halti for walks.  He was doing so well, she decided to stop using the halti and walk him with his collar and leash.  

Sam and Buddy wearing their haltis.  Merci doesn't wear one.

And he was a good boy - for Buddy.  He didn't tug until he choked or try to pull Jan down the road (usually) and Jan thought he'd finally settled down.  He was even paying attention and anticipating turns, stops and starts.  Jan was so pleased with him.

Until last week when she found the underside of his neck wet, took off his new-in-January collar and used a mirror to see his raw and bald again neck.  Buddy is out of the collar and back in a harness and so far behaving himself on walks.  His neck is healing well.

So what's the problem?  Well, Sam insists that if eating butter is a doghouse jail offense, so is Jan not standing on her head when she leashed Buddy so she could have noticed the raw neck sooner.  And he keeps trying to push her into my doghouse.

I think they need to build themselves a jail to resolve this issue.  Or maybe put Jan in stocks in the dog pen.

How do you think we should resolve this?  Before you answer, remember me moving over to let prisoners inside is not an option!


It's G-rated bath day over at The Tabby Cat Club, hosted by Mousie. Percy and I are members, but do you think Jan could come up with an entry for us? I'm almost tempted to move over and let Sam try to push her in my doghouse. I said almost!

Rusty Occupies His Doghouse

Hey, Rusty here.  I've seen Occupy the Couch and Occupy the Toys postings around Blogville recently.  I am Occupying My Doghouse!  Yes, my doghouse!  I am an honorary dog with outdoor pen privileges.  The others are afraid of the doghouse, so I claimed it and it's mine.

So what's the problem?

The first thing Jan saw this morning through the open bedroom door was Sam moving something across the kitchen floor as he licked it. Jan hollered.  Sam disappeared.  Jan got up to investigate.  And then she really hollered, SAAAAAAAM!  It was the butter dish with what had been a fresh stick of real butter in it. It was now a long, short stick.  The top half was in Sam's tummy.  

Sam claims he's been framed.  That he didn't steal it off the table, one of us kitties knocked it down, the lid fell off and ... well, what's a guy to do when presented with something edible and tasty before breakfast?  I will neither confirm nor deny Sam's allegation one of the kitties knocked it on the floor.  I don't tattle.  I'll just stick to the known facts.  Sam was caught eating the butter.  The lid was under the table. 

Jan wants him to reimburse her for the butter he ate but Sam doesn't have any cash or credit.  She refused a well-chewed stuffie toy as payment.  Now Jan wants me to move over or vacate my doghouse so Sam can squeeze in. 

Let Jan find another jail cell to for Sam.  This one's mine.  Um, I mean, this doghouse is mine.  

I am blocking the doorway and I refuse to budge. I will not move over and I will not move out!

 

Uh, Sam, you need to look a little more penitent.  Jan isn't buying your sad face. 


The Google Privacy policy will be changing soon.  If you have a Google account and would like to clear your web history and stop Google from saving it, we recommend you read this article and follow their directions to clear / stop the collection of your web history, which is on by default.
 
We did it.  It's very easy.  Just follow the directions. After everything is cleared, it should tell you your history is empty and it's been paused. 

How to delete your Google Web History.

Score One and a Bonus

Why is it whenever Jan attempts to catch something that's falling off the table, she manages to knock something else off -- and then blames them both on us? It should be perfectly clear to her we're only responsible for the one we knocked over. The second one is a bonus.

We're sorry.

Wanted Alive

We have an update to yesterday's post on the Temptations thief. We were just about to reveal the identity, when we suddenly and inexplicably lost the internet connection.

Shaggy, Scooby & Scout wrote: Does Dr. Buddy do counseling? He needs to get Percy on the couch to find the source of this behavior.

S, S & S, we're not sure. We assume Dr. Buddy needs counseling, but we're not sure if his medical degree includes giving counseling.Unfortunately, as of now he's on the scent of another feather for his stethoscope.

But this post is about busting the thief. We don't have to reveal the name to Jan. Not only did she figure it out on her own but last night she busted him right smack in the act. Yesterday Jan moved the treats to where they couldn't be reached by any of us. She heard the rustling, otherwise he would have gone undetected, as he was precariously perched high in the shelves where no cat should have been able to teeter. And barely reached by Jan. Only somehow our most daring and sure-footed gynmast managed to reach them.

Did you guess? No, it wasn't mice. And claiming a burglar would be as ludicrous as Buddy's claim a burglar stole Jan's nine warm yeast rolls at Thanksgiving time.

Yep, Percy is the culprit. Caught red-pawed with another empty bag of treats last night. This time a bag of Whisker Lickins Tartar Control. Guess he wants to be a fat boy with good teeth.

As you know, Percy is our best typist. And he is the reason our internet connection suddenly died yesterday, just as we were about to reveal the truth. Today he claims to be contrite, but we heard him searching the house this morning and crying outside the closet where the treats are now hidden. We'll probably never get another treat again. Jan will forget they're there. So Percy will be indebted to us forever.

This evening (Saturday) Jan heard something falling into the litter pan and arrived just in time to see how Percy reached those treats yesterday. And even worse, he was returning for a pack of DOG treats he'd snitched and stashed there.

Keep typing, Percy. The Funny Farm detectives are watching your every move. And so is Jan, although we wouldn't worry about her. She'll forget. Worry about us. We outnumber you.

I Was Bad

First of all, I want to say, it wasn't my fault. Honest. The bowl was sitting in the middle of the kitchen table. Right in front of my nose.

Okay, so I had to stand up on my hind legs and stretch a little.

Jan was sitting in here typing at the computer and the bowl was in the kitchen, just sitting - right in front of my nose, like I already said. What was I to do? I just knew Jan left it there for me and I better eat it before Samaritan found it. And he wouldn't have to stretch to reach it. So I helped myself.

And then I heard Jan call me. I rushed into the living room to put on my leash so we dogs could walk Jan, but she was suspicious and checked the kitchen first. Uh-oh, when she called me, I left in a hurry and splattered some of Jan's double batch of cornbread batter all over the table and everything on it. I looked around but there were no other residents in the kitchen to blame.

Guilt was written all over my face. The speckles of batter on my nose gave me away. I couldn't deny I did it. But I really thought she left it there for me.

I want Jan to know I'm turning over a new leaf. So I had Percy take this photo.

See, Jan, this is my sorry face. I'm really sad and I promise not to do it again. Ever. Am I forgiven?







Percy, I can't see for the flash. Is Jan buying any of this?