Marcus Meets Aggressive Shopping Cart

Percy:  Well, I see you have retained your passion for beating up shopping carts.  And Jan.

Marcus:  I have never beaten up Jan!

Percy:  Save your breath.  I witnessed it through the window with my own eyes this time. Plus you stomped her foot injury for the umpteenth time.

Marcus:  I had nothing to do with that foot accident.

Percy:  The original one, no.  She knocked a 19 ounce can of liquid off an overhead shelf and it bounced on her foot.  But for the past 5 1/2 weeks you have been keeping it from fully healing.

Marcus:  Wow!  I didn't realize.  Do you think I should order her a new foot from Amazon?

Percy:  I think you should let her walk on her own feet.  And what possessed you to attack the shopping cart Jan brought home yesterday with a couple of heavy items?  You didn't bother it last night when you two set out on a walk.

Marcus:  But this morning it got aggressive and growled at me. I couldn't let it get away with that.

Percy:  I didn't hear any growling.  Just a lot of screaming when you suddenly dived at a cart wheel and yanked the cart backward.  As Jan was jerked forward, you body slammed her in the shins, stomped her injured foot and tripped her with your body.

Marcus:  But she couldn't have been hurt.  She managed to stop her fall before her head hit the ground.    

Percy: Marcus, there are more ways to injure a human than splitting her head open.

Marcus:  There are?  You think that's why she was yelling at me?  I didn't think it was fair.  She wouldn't let me rush in for a second attack and she didn't take me for a walk either.

Percy:  She needed to rest so she could totter back with the cart before you tried to kill her again. 

Marcus:  Well, none of this would have happened if she had picked a non-aggressive cart to borrow.  A shopping cart must be submissive and not growl.

Percy:  Of course.  Why didn't I think of that?  It's not your fault.


Some of you might remember our original shopping cart post - and video! - from 2014. Nothing has changed. Marcus still loves to show a shopping cart who is boss, no matter what. You can view that post and video here.  Be glad Jan didn't try to film Marcus spinning/throwing the cart - and Jan - in rapid circles.  You would be dizzy too!

Many thanks to Meezer's Mews & Terrieristical Woofs for this lovely graphic for Percy Turns Fifteen.

The Aggressive Fridge

Micah:  Hey, it's me, the iron skillet sitter.  We had a post planned for today but it gets written the night before and we had a sudden change of plans.  Jan was cleaning the vegetable bins in the fridge when she was attacked.  Yes, smacked on top of the head by an jealous shelf she didn't clean.  Whacked hard.  At present she is sitting in a chair with a frozen bag of green beans on her head.  Marcus is in the kitchen growling at the fridge.

Cyndi:  Why is he growling at the fridge?  He already had his dinner.

Micah:  He's practicing in case he doesn't get any breakfast tomorrow.

Cyndi:  Leave it to Marcus to think first about his stomach.

Micah:  Well, he's supposed to be Jan's protector and he feels he fell down on the job.

Cyndi:  Yes, but who expects a refrigerator to be aggressive?

Micah:  Obviously, not Jan!

And joining Feline Friday at Comedy Plus.

Tickled Pink

Taylor:  When did Jan turn pink?

Micah:  What?

Taylor:  She's been wandering around since yesterday saying she is tickled pink. She doesn't look pink to me. 

Micah:  That's a human expression.  It means she is very happy about something.  And if you hadn't been in hiding from the two strangers in the house yesterday, you would know why she thinks she's pink.

Taylor:  But I thought bad things were happening to her.  Why would she be happy?

Micah:  Oh, you mean things like Thursday morning she was bitten on the back of the hand by something, possibly a spider, and the itching and burning has been driving her crazy?  And Sunday morning at 6 a.m. she rolled over and tried to sit up but she was on the very edge of the bed and fell off, scraping her forehead as she hit the corner of the bureau and slid down  And when her head hit the floor, the rest of her rolled off the bed twisting her back?

Taylor:  Exactly.  And then first thing Monday morning she was petting you, when you turned around, slipped on some papers, and left claw marks just below Jan's eye.  

 Micah:  That was an accident, just as the knob popping off the front door a week and a half ago was an accident.  She asked her landlord for help..  His nephew and another guy came over yesterday to replace it.  Such a change from the ugly old brown set.

Micah:  And while they were here, the outdoor bulb under the roof was replaced so she can see inside the dog pen when she has to go out at night, the toilet valve was replaced, the heaters were blown out with compressed air so they can be turned on when the weather gets colder - and a most welcome surprise.

Micah:  They built her a sturdy railing for the back steps.
 

Taylor:  Is that why Jan thinks she is pink?

Micah:  Yes!  Put on your rose colored glasses and let Jan be pink for the day.

Taylor: I don't have any rose colored glasses.

Micah:  That's okay.  A little pink nail polish on a pair of Jan's reading glasses will do the trick.

We are participating in Happy Tuesday blog hop. Stop by Comedy Plus to see other posts or to join the fun.

Razor Sharp Teeth

Micah: Okay, Marcus, the other Funny Farmers are asking questions.  Start explaining to them. 

Marcus:  Explaining what?

Rusty:  Explaining why Jan is limping around on our new computer which she is far from finished setting up for our convenience.

Marcus:  Oh, that.  I was wondering the same thing myself.  She used to be a touch typist.  Now she can't find the keys and has to keep correcting, correcting, correcting.

Micah:  That's because she has only one and a fraction hands.

Marcus:  Either of you know what happened?

Rusty:  It just so happens I do.  I was taking a sun bath in the dog pen at the time.  You bit her, Marcus!

Marcus:  How can you say that?  I've never bitten anyone in my life!

Rusty:  I saw you do it.  Jan got tired of throwing your ball overhand because it spewed mud (dirt and saliva) on the house siding that she just washed and all over her, including in her face and hair.  She started throwing the ball underhand.

Micah:   Which brought the ball down to your level.  You always turn and run when Jan throws the ball, but this time -

Marcus:  Wait a minute.  You weren't even there!

Micah:  Rusty told me all about it and I also heard Jan talking on the phone..

Rusty:  You're so easily excited.  After a number of throws, you suddenly realized the ball was close enough to grab and instead of turning to run and catch it, you leaped forward.  You did catch the ball when Jan let it loose, but Jan's fingers were still attached and your jaws closed over them.  You scraped some fingers but your razor sharp teeth did a number on one. See?

Marcus:  I did that? Are you sure?

Rusty:  Yes. The dark red is blood.  The orange is iodine.  The injury happened Saturday.  This picture was taken yesterday, Easter Sunday..

Micah:  Why did you think Miss Pat asked Jan if she has forgiven you yet?

Marcus:  I thought is was because I tore the ball into little pieces when Jan suddenly stopped playing and disappeared.  I was bored.

Rusty:  The outside ball wasn't that important.  It was barely held together with duct tape because your teeth are so sharp. 

Marcus:  Jan didn't mention I was responsible for her hand injury,  Do you think she'll ever forgive me? 

Micah:  No!

Rusty:  Oh, stop crying, Marcus!  He was just kidding.  Jan knows it was a freak accident, so there's nothing to forgive.

Micah:  Why don't you go offer to finish setting up the computer so we can get back online? 

Marcus:  What a good idea!  I'll go do that now.

Rusty:  Are you nuts?  Marcus doesn't know the first thing about computers. 

Micah:  No, but Jan needs help typing.  Surely he can't bloody a keyboard!  Or can he?

Down for the Count

Marcus:  Jan says I have been a good boy this past week.

Jan:

This past week has been very hard on all of us and I am proud of Marcus.  He has so wanted me to play with him for weeks and I just didn't have the energy, but I did try to walk him and Buddy every day possible.  (I walk Merci by herself if she wants to go.)

I wasn't going to do this post but Loulou's sweet mama is concerned that we haven't been posting.  It's easier to type this once so we told her we would try to do a post.  This has been a hard summer.  I have been sweating buckets, cutting the lawn with a grass whip, and tottering around in exhaustion.

Last Monday I tried out my new electric lawn mower with a 100' cord that should make my life easier.  Six hours later about 3/4 of the lawn was done.  (There were a lot of breaks in there where I collapsed in a chair on the porch or over the trash can near the side yard.)  Then I wobbled up the street with the two dogs. 

Tuesday evening I set out with Marcus and Buddy for a walk.  We made it as far as the public sidewalk next door. Without any warning I was yanked sideways and back with such force the chest pain was excruciating and I was  screaming.  My feet were flying and I almost fell over Marcus and one of the dogs from next door when they both stopped.  Some distance away the neighbor kids were playing basketball in the alley.  I screamed for them to get their dog on a leash and they just stared.. 

There was another hard yank in another direction and I was face down on the lawn, still screaming in pain.  Bless the woman driving by who saw it happening and stopped to help..  She was there right away, wrapped the leashes in one hand (I had a death grip on them) and told me the dogs were okay. (I wasn't thinking straight and neglected to get the name of the kind woman.)  I couldn't see anything but I could hear those kids approaching.  From beginning to end, there was no sound from any of the dogs except one low growl from Marcus - his "I'm in trouble" growl.  One second he was walking, then he was playing, then I was on the ground screaming and there were all those kids coming at him.  He is timid and I knew he was scared. 

I spent a long time face down on the lawn listening to the mouthy teenager who doesn't believe the leash law applies to her.  And when I was finally able to get up. things got worse.  She told me to GO HOME (complete with arm gestures) or WALK THE DOGS ACROSS THE STREET but to GET OFF HER PROPERTY (meaning the entire side of the road).  No remorse, no concern that her off leash dog caused the violent take down (not a fall) of someone. 

Injured or not, I still had to take care of the Funny Farmers.  By Saturday, I HAD to get out of the house so I set out with Buddy and Marcus on a slow walk.  Buddy stopped to poop.  I cleaned up after him. turned around and there was that dog racing onto the sidewalk at us.   She will not put it on a leash!  The fact the dog is friendly and wants to play isn't the point. I don't know if Animal Control has been in contact with the family yet.

So, things are not going well around here.  The Mousebreath interviews are postponed.  I don't know for how long.  We won't be posting to the blog either.  I am taking a break from everything to recuperate.

I wasn't joking about Marcus being a good boy.  I don't blame him for what happened, nor the other dog.  I blame the defiant teenager and her parents.  He was going stir crazy without his walks, so he was so happy they resumed.  Tonight - Monday- Marcus stopped on our walk to make friends with a man in a wheelchair who has had a stroke and was frustrated because he couldn't convey to me what he wanted to say, but he and Marcus communicated just fine.

The Psychotic Printer

Marcus:  I guess we know what we're thankful for this week!

Rusty:  Yes, we finally get our computer back!

Marcus:  Back?  Where'd it go?

Rusty:  Jan was hogging it.  How quickly you forget.

Marcus:  I didn't forget.  I didn't know what you were referring to.

Rusty:  She tried to print something Sunday and discovered our printer was uninstalled again when Windows 10 updated to Creator last week.   Only this time, no matter what she did, it would not actually install!  It was there but it wasn't. 

Marcus:  Yes, it was the ghost printer - in the queue but not installed.  She would try to print a document and the lights would start blinking and it would start spewing out test page after test page - or some jibberish.  She had to resort to reusing the same paper and it would keep printing multiples over the old test pages.

Rusty:  And then there was the monitor.

Marcus:  What about the monitor?

Rusty:  It wouldn't turn on at first on Monday and then Tuesday it downright refused.  She untangled all the cords and made sure everything was hooked up properly.  Tried plugging it in different places.  Finally climbed up on Buddy's step stool and got the old monitor and prepared to hook it up.  Suddenly the one we've been using came on.  It's working fine now.

Marcus:  This just hasn't been Jan's week. First thing Monday after picking up poop in the dog pen, she tripped over a step and had to do some fancy "dancing" to not fall on the concrete. In the process, she twisted her already bad foot and ankle, so she's been derelict in her duty to play ball with me or to walk us properly.

Rusty:  But the good news is that while she was untangling cords, she discovered our 4 port usb hub was missing the power cord.  It's been missing for so long she found it packed away on the top shelf of the closet.  Evidently it fell off (again!) and when it was found she had no idea where it went and everything worked - sort of.  I mean, who makes a big heavy plug end with a very thin cord?  Even we furries could figure out it isn't going to stay plugged in.  It had fallen out again yesterday, so Mr. Doug taped the cord to the hub.

Marcus:  It's been that kind of a week.  But things did improve yesterday.  Mr. Doug came by to take Jan somewhere important and afterward he sat at the computer, read some online Microsoft printer tech stuff, and in a while we had a printer again.  It actually prints real words and stops at one copy.    *sigh*  It's almost boring now that the lights don't flash and Jan doesn't have to catch all the papers spewing from the printer.

Rusty:  Thank you for fixing the psychotic printer, Mr. Doug!

Marcus:  Do you think we should thank Jan, too?  She did do some things right this week and she has been entertaining.

Rusty:  Dancing With The Stars on TV is entertainment.  Dancing on the steps or tangling herself in cords is part of what Jan signed on for when she adopted us.  But, yes, we're thankful for her too.


On a different note, we mentioned a while ago that service cats Dezi and Raena's mom Audra has some dental needs. She has found a dentist to do the work and could really use some help to go forward.  Those who know Audra and her cats through her blog or Facebook know her story.  Donation information is in her post.  If you can't donate, please share her fundraiser.  Her blog is DezizWorld.


We are joining Brian for Thankful Thursday.

On The Bright Side

Taylor:  Are you okay, Merci?

Merci:  Yes.  This is Thankful Thursday and we haven't posted much these last few weeks, so I'm thinking about something I'm particularly thankful for from last week.

Taylor:  And what would that be?

Merci:  That Jan is still in one piece and can still fix our meals and take us for walks and -

Taylor:  Of course she's in one piece and she always does those things. 

Merci:  But what if she got bashed in the head by a falling tree limb and her brains were scrambled?

Taylor:  I don't think we need to worry about that.  I haven't left the house since I arrived over a year ago and I haven't seen a single falling tree limb in here yet.

Merci:  Not in the house, silly!  In the yard,  Don't you remember last week when Jan was working on some of the bushes in the yard and she came inside to get a drink of water ...

... and returned to find this.  See how long that branch is!  And it came from up high in the tree.  Way high.

Taylor:  Oh, yeah, I remember.  Jan went to the neighbor for help moving their tree branch off our lawn.

Merci:  What if Jan had been standing there when it came down?

Taylor:  She would be shorter?

Merci:  Well, that too, but I was thinking about how forgetful she is already.  What if she couldn't remember to feed us?

Taylor:  On the bright side, what if she forgets she has already fed us and feeds us again?

Merci:  I'm glad we had this little talk, Taylor.  I feel so much better now!


We're joining the Thankful Thursday blog hop at Brian's Home.

An Innocent Bysleeper

Merci:  This was me Wednesday afternoon between morning and past everyone's bedtime storms.  I was really soaking up some zzzzzs.

Marcus:  This is what my bed looked like when we all woke up Thursday morning.  And before you blame me, I never sleep in my crate at night.  But a certain little redhead does much of the time.

Merci:  Do you mean Rusty?  I understand an orange tabby is actually called "red". 

Marcus:  No, I mean you, Merci!  You slept in my bed.  It was already duct taped together on the back and Jan just recently sewed half the top back together.

Merci:  I know where Jan keeps the duct tape.

Marcus:  It's waaaaaaaay past sewing or taping together.  You owe me a new bed!

Merci:   But I didn't do anything.  I just turned over the bedding and dug a little to make the bedding more comfortable.  It must have exploded while I was sleeping.

Marcus:  Yeah, sure.  You weren't harmed but the bed exploded all the way to the kitchen. That sounds like one of my tales.

Merci:  I'm so glad you're my brother!  You understand I was just an innocent bysleeper.

Marcus:  A "bysleeper"? 

Merci:  Yes, you know, a sleeping bystander.

Taylor:  We have a Mousebreath interview with Teddy Westlife posted today.  Some of you will remember his older sisfur Huffle Mawson. 

Percy:  Stop by Mousebreath to meet SuperFluff Teddy Westlife.  He used to write the Don't Bite blog, but now he is the silent partner on the Cats With Blogs Facebook page. 



We are joining the Pet Parade hosted by Rascal and Rocco, Basil the Bionic Cat, Barking from the Bayou and Owned by a husky.

More Sense Versus More Heat

Micah:  Dogs are weird.

Buddy:  Hey, who are you calling weird?

Micah:  You and Marcus. 

Buddy:  You'd better have a good reason for that!

Micah:  I do.  Merci is old and when animals get old, their bladder sometimes goes wonky. 

Buddy:  My bladder is fine.  Usually.

Micah:  But yesterday morning while you slept under your quilt on the big bed, Jan yelled for Merci to get up and go outside with Marcus.  Merci did.  However, as Jan soon discovered, Jan evidently startled her awake and Merci had an accident in her bed.

Buddy:  That's Jan's fault for yelling at her.

Micah:  But if she doesn't yell, Merci doesn't hear her.  Jan understood Merci didn't do it deliberately so she quietly took the bed outside to wash the urine out of it.  It was so cold, she brought the bed back inside to dry and put it in front of the heater.  It wasn't long before she turned around to see this.

Buddy:  Yes, Marcus assumed the bed was in front of the heater so he could stay warm.

Micah:  But the bed was still damp.

Buddy:  So?  

Micah:  So you got jealous and went to sit beside Jan and stare at her so she would think you needed to go out.  Then when she opened the back door and Marcus ran outside, she turned around and there you were in the bed Marcus had been sleeping in.

Buddy:  Yes, I'm crafty that way. 

Micah:  But the bed was damp!  A cat would never curl up in a damp bed.

Buddy:  Not even in front of the heat?

Micah:  No, we have more sense.

Buddy:  You were huddled near a pilot light on the stove.  I lay warm and toasty in front of the heater.  I might not have more sense but I sure had more heat!

Not Me!

Percy:  Uh-oh, look at what I found in Jan's photo albums.  Which one of you guys did this?

Micah:  Not me!

Mercy:  Not me!

Marcus:  Whatever it is, definitely not me!

Percy:  But I haven't even shown you what happened yet.

Micah:  That's okay.  It wasn't me!

Percy:  Well, this is in with Jan's photos.  One of us did it and it most definitely was not me!

Merci:  It had to be one of you.  I'm in trouble for destuffing dog beds. (Miss Messy Destuffs)   Glasses are not my thing.  No stuffing!

Marcus:  Don't look at me.  I'm innocent.  The dust mites went on a rampage and destuffed the bed in my crate.  You and Micah knocked all those stuffed animals and VCR tapes to the floor, Percy.  One of you must have done it.

Percy:  Not me!

Micah:  Not me!  We'd better find out who broke Jan's reading glasses before we're all in trouble.

Merci:  How do we do that?

Micah:  Democratically.  We take a vote and the winner takes the blame.  I vote for Marcus.  He's usually the guilty party.  All in favor of Marcus, raise a paw.

Merci:  That's it.  Four votes for Marcus.

Marcus:  Wait!  I didn't do it. And how can there be four votes for me if there are only four of us voting and I didn't vote against myself?

Percy:  I'm sorry.  I got a bit carried away and raised two paws.  But you still won, Marcus.

Marcus:  But I don't want to win!  It isn't fair!

Cyndi:  You won something, Marcus, and you don't think it's fair?

Marcus:  We don't know who broke Jan's glasses, so they voted me guilty..

Cyndi:  Oh, is that what this little conference is about?  I know who broke them.

Merci:  Who?

Cyndi:  Jan did.  They were on a TV tray she knocked over and something heavy landed on them.  That was a couple of months ago. 

Marcus:  I was tried and convicted without any proof.  Do any of you have anything to say to me?

Percy:  Yes.  We're sorry the dust mites went crazy and destroyed the bed in your crate.

Graphic by Zoolatry

Today is Veterans Day in the United States and Remembrance Day in Canada and other countries.  It is a day to honor and celebrate all our veterans.  Without their service and dedication, our lives would be very different. 


Note:  Our power supply fan is on it's last "legs", so w probably won't be around much until after the power supply fan can be replaced.   


We are joining the Pet Parade hosted by Rascal and Rocco, Basil the Bionic Cat, Barking from the Bayou and Owned by a husky.   

Halloween Bleeding Pumpkin 2016

Marcus destroying his Halloween costume.

Merci:  Taylor, have you ever heard the Halloween story of the bleeding pumpkin?

Taylor:  No, is it a good one?

Cyndi:  Oh, you better believe it's good.

Rusty:  You know that we don't do Halloween decorating.  Have you ever wondered why?

Taylor:  Actually, this is my first Halloween with you. I'd guess we can't afford to decorate.

Marcus:  Actually, before your time, Jan got a big pumpkin to carve for Halloween.  She figured if other people can carve one, she could too.

Our pumpkin patch by Nellie.

Micah:  So we all sat down to watch a spooky Halloween show on the TV while Jan sat at the desk with a large knife and carved a face on the pumpkin.

Buddy:  Just before the last commercial, there was a frightening scream behind us.  We all turned and there was the pumpkin with wide eyes and big teeth.  Blood was gushing out it's mouth and dripping from its eyes.

Percy:  I ran over and Jan's hand with the knife was inside the pumpkin/  Blood was spurting out of her wrist and through the pumpkin's eyes and mouth.

Taylor:  Jan cut herself with the knife?

Cyndi:  That's what we thought too, but Jan was screaming that the pumpkin bit her.

Taylor:  Bit her?  But pumpkins don't bite.  Er ... do they?

Merci:  That one must.  I dialed 9-1-1 with my nose for an ambulance.   An E.M.T. said he could see what appeared to be large tooth marks in her wrist. 

Rusty:  Jan was taken away to the Emergency Room to stop the bleeding.  After a while, two police officers came and read the pumpkin its rights.

Marcus:  They carried it outside, put it in the back seat of a squad car, and drove away.  We never saw it again.

Taylor:  I bet they made a pie out of it.  What about Jan?

Micah:  Oh, yes, we saw Jan again. She's been wondering the streets as a bag lady ever since.  Occasionally she stops by to say hello.

Buddy:   It was a traumatic night.   After that I never turned my back on another pumpkin. And we have never decorated for Halloween again.

Did I Do That?

Marcus:  Did I do that? 

Cyndi:  Yes.

Marcus:  Are you sure?

Cyndi:  Positive.

Marcus:  When did this incident occur?

Cyndi:  Last April.

Marcus:  How do you know it was me?  It doesn't have my name on it.

Cyndi:  You were caught red-pawed.  Jan took out the trash and came in to find you with your rabies tag hooked in her stuffed chair. 

Marcus:  Oh, that.  I was scratching an itch when the chair attacked and held me prisoner. 

Cyndi: You don't live in the real world, do you?

Marcus:  Of course I do!  And I'd stay away from that chair if I were you.  It bites.


We're joining Pepi Smart Dog for today's Thankful Thursday blog hop. 

Marcus Has A Plan

Buddy:  Well, here we are in the doghouse again.

Marcus:  Doghouse?  What doghouse?

Merci:  It's a figure of speech, Marcus.  It means we are in trouble again.

Marcus:  What did we do?

Buddy:  Merci and I were excited and rowdy.  You tried to take Jan out!

Marcus:  Out where?

Merci:  Out of commission.  As in down on the sidewalk being dragged.

Marcus:  Not me!  I've been an angel all day.

Buddy:  Are you denying when those two loose dogs came running across the street at us you went wild and started leaping around like a bull moose in a tub of seltzer water?

Marcus:  I certainly do deny it.  And I didn't see you two behaving yourselves either.

Merci:  Aha, so you do admit it!

Marcus:  I admit nothing.  Besides it all worked out in the end, didn't it?

Buddy:  Yes, because Jan used that psychedelic water pistol she carries to squirt them in the face with water and their owner was right behind to catch them and take them back to their house.

Merci:  He apologized that they had gotten loose and Jan said she hopes we never get loose because she can't chase us.

Marcus:  So what's the problem?

Buddy:  The problem is that you get excited and your brain goes on vacation.  You could have injured Jan!

Marcus:  She would have been okay.  We would have picked her up and walked her home.  Percy would have done a cat scan to make sure she hadn't lost any important body parts in the fall, and I would have licked her wounds so she'd heal faster.

Merci:  Oh, well, just so you had a plan.

Marcus:  Of course.

Buddy:  You do know Merci was being sarcastic, don't you?



We're joining Pepi Smart Dog for today's Thankful Thursday blog hop. 

  

Calamity Jan

Marcus: Why have you been sitting there so long staring so intently out the door? 

Percy:  I'm looking for Jan's calamity.

Marcus:  When did she lose it?  Come to think of it, what is it?

Percy:  I'm not sure  and I'm quite confused as to whether she lost it or she's expecting it.

Marcus:  What brought it to your attention?

Percy:  I was just reading some old comments and I came across one from the last time Jan flew across the room and crashed.  It read, "Oh Jan, do we need to add an "e" to the end of your name and start calling you "Calamity Jane"? LOL! Furniture is evil. You can't fight furniture. Furniture always wins. Love & Biscuits, Dogs Luv Us and We Luv Them"

Marcus:  Did you search the internet to see what a calamity is?

Percy:  Yes.  Evidently it can be anything from an inevitable accident to a hangnail.

Marcus:  You're waiting for a hangnail to walk through the door?

Percy:  Don't be silly!  I'm waiting for Jan to walk through the door so I can see if she is okay.

Marcus:  Well, I'd suggest we move the basket and box so she doesn't trip coming in the door.  I don't think we really need to worry about her.  She's already had her calamity quota for the rest of this week.

Percy:  She has?  How?

Marcus:  Remember when Jan was brushing Rusty Sunday morning and Rusty turned to give her a love nip like he always does and her forearm collided with his fangs?

Percy:  That was an accident, and fortunately, Rusty didn't lose his teeth in that accident.

Marcus:  Two holes in her arm count as a cat bite.  And the same day she sliced her finger open with the lid on a can of tomato sauce.

Percy:  Oh, that's right.  She's thankful both injuries are healing so quickly since she still hasn't been able to find the new box of bandages.

Marcus:  Now that you know Jan is okay, come with me.  I can use some help filching a dog biscuit from the open package.  That's it.  Just push the box off the cat tree and -

CRRRRAAAASH!

Percy:  Uh-oh, we forgot to move the basket and the box out of the doorway before Jan came in.

From all of us:  Don't worry, the story is true but the ending is sprinkled with fairy dust.


We're joining Pepi Smart Dog for today's Thankful Thursday blog hop.

The Flying Grate

Rusty: I'm still in shock.  Jan tried to kill Cyndi Tuesday night.

Marcus:  She did?  How did I miss that?

Rusty:  I think you dogs were sleeping in the living room, but we cats were in the kitchen.

Marcus:  How did Jan try to kill you, Cyndi?

Cyndi:  She threw one of these gas stove grates at me.  And it was red hot!

Marcus:   She did what!

Micah:  Oh, come on, stop kidding around.  Jan did not throw a red hot grate at any of us.

Cyndi:  She did too.  And it just missed me.

Micah:  By a mile.  Well, by a several feet.  But she did not throw it at you!

Rusty:  I saw it.  Good thing I was on the other side of the room. 

Cyndi:  Well, if she didn't throw it at me, who ... whom ... why did she throw it?

Micah:  Because when she was wiping down the stove, she grabbed the grate and it was so hot she tossed it without thinking.  She had the burner turned on so low to heat veggies for dinner, she didn't notice it needed to be turned off.

Marcus:  *nodding*  Until she grabbed the grate.

Micah:  Exactly.  Have you ever picked up hot metal with a bare paw?

Rusty:  No.  I think I can do without that experience.

Micah:  So could Jan, but it happened.

Cyndi:  So that's why she ran cold water over her finger right away.  But she put something on it and went back to washing dishes.

Micah:  Undiluted tea tree oil.  A little at a time until the burning stopped.

Rusty:  So if she had hit one of us she would have doused us with that oil?

Marcus:  No! Tea tree oil should never be used on a cat or dog.  (Pet Poison Helpline)

Cyndi:  But it works for humans?

Micah:  Yes, for "minor" burns.  This is not the first time Jan has grabbed something hot and gotten a painful burn.  The tea tree oil takes away the pain and she doesn't even get a blister to remind her of what happened.  (It's not advised for a large area or a deep tissue burn because there would be the possibility of the skin healing before the inner tissue has.)

Marcus:  I've seen Jan coat fire ant bites with it too.  The bites still blister and the itching hangs around for a while, but the burning pain goes away.

Micah:  Are you guys going to retract your story that Jan tried to kill you?

Rusty:  I will if Cyndi will.

Cyndi: I will if Jan apologizes for almost scaring the poop out of me when I saw that grate go flying by.  On second thought, I will if she breaks out the fishy flakes.  


Jan:  This is not an ad of any kind.  Just sharing some information that has helped me many a time!  It's so easy to grab something hot and get a blister burn.  And anyone who lives in fire ant territory knows how painful it is to be attacked by them.  I have found it harder to stop the burning pain from fire ant bites than from grabbing something heated.   I always keep a small bottle of tea tree oil handy. 

Percy the Mancat

Merci:  Hey, Percy, what are you doing on the roof of  Marcus's Private Dining Car?

Percy:  This is my Private Lounge.  What do you think I'm doing?

Merci:  Lounging?  Or contemplating the mess you made?

Percy:  Both, I guess.  Jan had the nerve to lay some things down on my Lounge and I kicked them to the curb, so to speak.

Marcus:  I hope you remember to tell Jan I did not make the mess.

Taylor:  Looks like Marcus photobombed your mess, Percy.  He's everywhere.  And usually in trouble.

Merci:  Yes, and Jan sure was upset with him late Monday night when he was running around the crate and Percy was stretched out on his Lounge screaming at him. 

Marcus:  I told you all I didn't do anything to Percy and none of you believed me.

Taylor:  Habit, but Jan caught on very quickly that Percy wasn't screaming in anger.  He was in pain! 

Merci:  What happened?  By the time I got there it was over.

Marcus:  Percy was lying where the newspaper is in the picture.  His back paw had gone between the wire, twisted and come through another opening.  He couldn't move, only scream.

Taylor:  Before Jan could get to him, Marcus the Menace, who loves to torment us cats, ran around the crate, stood on his hind legs and started licking Percy's head. 

Merci:  Jan stood Percy up and leaned him the other way.  He was able to pop his paw loose. 

Percy:  You were nice  to me, Marcus.  And Micah too.  I was so relieved to be free, I leaped onto the cat tower and suddenly realized I was too close to Micah, but he didn't whap me on the head and chase me away like he normally does.  

Marcus:  How is your foot?  With all that screaming I thought sure it was broken, but you haven't been limping, so I take it you're okay.

Taylor:  I hope he learned his lesson and the next time Jan puts down something soft for him to lie on in his Private Lounge, he won't toss it to the floor.

Percy:  I'm a mancat.  I don't do soft.

Merci:  Of course you don't.  Not when anyone is looking, anyway.

A Drunk Dinosaur Crash

Percy:   Hey, Cyndi, what do you call it when a dinosaur crashes his car?

Cyndi:  I didn't know dinosaurs could drive.

Percy:  This one can. 

Cyndi:  Is he insured?

Percy:  I don't know.  I suppose so.

Cyndi:  Is he carrying uninsured motorist?

Percy:  How would I know?  I can't ask to see his policy.

Cyndi:  Sure you can.  If he hits you, you have every right to ask for his insurance information.

Percy:  He didn't hit me. 

Cyndi:  Then whom did he hit?

Percy:  It doesn't matter.  Wait, he didn't hit anybody.  He just crashed his car.

Cyndi:  Are you sure he crashed his own car?

Percy:  I assume if there's a dinosaur driving a car, it would have to be a very large car, so I also assume it's his own car.

Cyndi:  Well, if there's one very large dinosaur car, there must be more.  If you see a dinosaur have an accident while driving a very large car, I'd suggest you dial 9-1-1 to report a drunk crashing a stolen vehicle.  

Percy:  I asked what you call it when a dinosaur crashes his car.  How did he end up drunk in a stolen vehicle?

Cyndi:  I don't know.  It's your story.  If you didn't have all the details, you shouldn't have mentioned it.

Taylor:  Percy, I couldn't help but overhear the conversation.  I'd sure like to know the answer to what to call it when a dinosaur crashes his car.

Percy:  Oh, no!  I'm not falling for that.  Before I can answer, you'll try to convince me Mr. Dinosaur killed Mrs. Dinosaur and her body was in the trunk. 

Taylor:  Why would you think that?  I'm sure he had enough sense to dump her body before he got drunk, stole a car and crashed it.

Percy:  It was a joke, a two-line joke.  Now it's a full length book and I don't even remember the punch line.

Cyndi:  Taylor and I read the joke the other day .  When a dinosaur crashes his car it's called -

Taylor:  A tyrannosaurus Wrecks.

Marcus Saves A Broken Nose

Marcus:  Today I'd like to tell you the story of how I saved Jan's broken nose.

Percy:  Did I miss something?  I'm not aware Jan has a broken nose.

Marcus:  We wrote some posts on the 2016 saga of our new city water pipes - the explosion, the flood, the dry pipes, the midnight dig by flashlight, the knee-high flesh-eating grass -

Cyndi:  Marcus, I think you're exaggerating a bit.

Marcus:  The pipe connection blew, it flooded our dog pen, we had no water in the house and a guy from the water company was digging in our yard just before midnight one Saturday ... Need I continue?

Percy:  I hate to ask, but where does the flesh -eating grass come in?

Marcus:  Well, I might have exaggerated just a teeny bit there, but it was knee-high.  The guys left behind a mess of uneven rocky ground and a deep hole where the old meter used to be.  Jan could have stepped in it and broken her nose and then who would feed us?

Cyndi:  Wait a minute.  Jan would break an ankle if she stepped in the hole.  How is she going to break her nose?

Marcus:  You know Jan.  Whenever she falls, she flies and crashes.

Percy:  So the city sent this huge machine to fix the hole?

Marcus:  No.  I just think it's the neatest thing since the pocketknife with all the gadgets.  This toy can dig the hole, haul away the dirt and then brush up the mess it made in the street.  I want one.

Marcus:  As we started our Friday afternoon walk, a guy stopped to admire the mess they'd made.  I U-turned and dragged Jan back to ask him if he could please fill in the hole before someone gets hurt.

Buddy:  I know.  I was poised to take a poop near the curb and suddenly I was being dragged down the sidewalk in a semi-sitting position.

Marcus:  When we got home, the rocks and an empty plastic can were in the hole.

Percy:  I saw the guys came by early Monday morning to finish filling in the hole.

Cyndi:  It looks like they did a pretty good job.   

Marcus:  And that is the story of how I saved Jan's broken nose.

Percy:  It sounds more like you're patting yourself on the back with a front paw.

Buddy:  So this week we are thankful Jan didn't fall into a hole and break her nose?

Marcus:   Would you be thankful if she had?


PS - Please excuse us if we are kind of quiet.  Jan is on a house cleaning, clearing, rearranging binge again and it eats up our time and wears us all out!  

Join Pepi Smart Dog and friends for the Thankful Thursday blog hop. 

Hugs From Around The World Day

MICAH:  Today is a special day.  It's Hugs From Around the World Day.

MARCUS:  Does that mean if I ask you for a hug, you'll hug me, Sam? 

SAM:  No way!  Cookies, Marcus, cookies!

CYNDI:  I think you mean "cooties", Sam.  

MERCI:  I thought cooties was a fictional disease that ...

SAM:  *elbows Merci in ribs*  Marcus doesn't know that. 

MARCUS:  So then what is Hugs from Around the World Day?

MERCI:  Hailey and Zaphod came up with the idea and Dory and her mom from Dory's Back Yard  made the graphic. Today is the big day!

(If you want to celebrate the day but aren't sure what to do, the directions are at Hailey and Zaphod Chronicles.)

CYNDI:  As you know our friends Stella Rose, Margaret Mae, and Angus McConnell from The Three Little Pugs have been kind of lonely lately.  Their dad was injured at work and broke his back in three places.

BUDDY:  Their mom hasn't been home very much since then but their dad is now in a hospital closer to home and hopefully will be home soon.

MARCUS:  So the pugs are brushing up on their nursing skills?

RUSTY:  I imagine so!  Their dad is going to need lots of love and special care that only a furry can give.  And their mom will need some too.

PERCY:  This day is for Blogville to tell Deb and Butch how much they are loved and appreciated and that we are all there for them.  In essence, Blogville is sending them one gigantic warm hug today!

MARCUS:  Oh, that's so nice.  Can I send a hug to someone else?

BUDDY:  I suppose so.  Who do you have in mind?

MARCUS:  Amber's mom, her family, and their canine pack.  They've been going through a lot, too, and we want them to know we care.

PERCY:  That's a good idea, Marcus.  And there are some other bloggers we know who have been / are going through rough times whose names we won't mention, but we sure do want to send them a big, warm hug too!  And anyone else in need of one today!

MARCUS:  Does this mean I can have a hug now, Sam?

SAM:  Back away.  Cookies, Marcus, cookies!

Enter the Hugs From Around the World blog hop at Oz the Terrier's.

Also, Pepi Smart Dog is hosting the Thankful Thursday blog hop.  (There is always something to be thankful for!)

And don't forget Ruckus the Eskie, Love is being owned by a husky, and Barking from the bayou for the Thoughtless Thursday blog hop. 

The Crate Looked Friendlier

MERCI:  After the past few days, we thought we should take a moment to answer a few general questions asked or inferred about our latest posts.

RUSTY:  Yes.  First, there is no such thing as a tidal wave in Middle Georgia, so we were fine, although a bit waterlogged.  The wood floor, however is very old and not sealed so getting soaked is not good for it!

BUDDY:  Yes, we do miss the big water bowl in the living room.  It was not the first time it has been spilled but it was the most dramatic mishap to date.  The dual bowls on their side over three feet from where they were supposed to be and water clear across the room -- even on the computer desk!

Uh, Jan, you need some new photos of me.  Micah

MICAH:  Yes, Jan is very glad the coffee cup had a lid and did NOT contain coffee.  Watching a cup fly through the air gushing a stream of water across the carpet is a bit ... um, weird.

PERCY:  Oh, and by the way, Jan nearly had heart failure when she saw the cup flying and water spouting.  The desks are close together and this one holds computer equipment.

CYNDI:  Yes, Jan has washed the dirty towels from both water mishaps.  We are not expecting any new water accidents but around here one never knows when another wave will arrive.

SAM:  No, despite the recent water stories, Jan is not planning to raise fish.  We furries would enjoy catching our own snacks that but Jan says we'd find some way to overturn or smash the tank and she says we don't have enough towels for such a disaster.

MARCUS:  I know Jan means I would smash the tank and cause a flood, but I do behave!  In fact, when Jan told me to get out of her sight, I looked at her face and then at my crate and the crate looked so much friendlier than Jan's face, so I walked in to the far corner and lay down facing a bookcase.  Don't think Jan's perfect.  The bookcase needs to be dusted.