Tuesday, June 30, 2015

Marcus Goes First

MARCUS:  Can I go first this time?  I never get to go first.

SAM:  What do you mean you never go first?  You push any and all of us out of your way so you can always be first.

MARCUS:  But I mean I want to go first in a post.

MERCI:  Well, at least he can't shove us off the steps to get in the first word.  Let's let him go first.

MARCUS:  Good.  Now what do I say?

BUDDY:  You mean you want to go first but you have no idea what you want to say?

MARCUS:  Uh, yes, that's what I mean.

BUDDY:  How about if you tell our friends that today we are interviewing the crew from the blog Barking From the Bayou.

SAM:  Yes, Bentley and Pierre.  They are pretty famous newscasters, along with Paisley the Weather Lab.

MARCUS:  Oh, thanks.  Today we are interviewing -

MERCI:  Buddy already said that.

MARCUS:  Bentley and Pierre are famous -

SAM:  I already said that.

MARCUS:  So what do I say?

MERCI:  Well, you could say, let's get started, but I just said that, so how about if we just get started.

MARCUS:  Being first is sure no fun.  Next time I want to be second!

Funny Farmer Canines: Please introduce yourselves and your family.

Bentley: Hey y’all, I am Bentley the Basset. My mom writes our blog and I help her out with the reviews. I am also the main anchor of our news program. I live with my mom and dad. Pierre lives with us, but our Weather Lab, Paisley lives with my human boy and his wife. She comes to play at our house and sometimes spends the night. We let her give the weather reports each Monday. There are even certain toys and treats that we let her review. Being only six-months old, she has a bunch of energy! Most days it is just Mom, Pierre, and me. Psst, it’s your turn.

Pierre: Hello, my name is Pierre and I am four years old. Being a White West Highland Terrier, I enjoy hunting and chasing (mostly toys and tree rats). I’ve lived with Bentley for a while now. He is three years older than me, but there is not a generation gap. When Paisley comes to play, as the “granddogs” we both get extra special treats. We use FaceTime each week to get the weather report from her.

 Funny Farmer Canines: How did you come to live together?

Bentley: My mom and dad got me from a friend. He had received me as a surprise birthday present. He wasn’t ready for a new puppy after just losing his senior dog. I’m sure that I was born to be exactly where I am. It was fate.

Pierre: I’m living here with my Gramma and Papaw because my dad is in the Army and they moved to Alaska. I decided to stay with my mom’s parents because they had just lost their Golden Retriever. They were really sad and Bentley took it very hard. I made them happy, besides Alaska is big-time cold for a bayou boy. I know that I’ll live with my mom and dad again soon, but I love being spoiled here!

Funny Farmer Canines: Tell us a little about the area where you live.

Bentley: We live in Louisiana. It is known for Mardi Gras, the LSU Tigers, New Orleans Saints, Cajun cooking, Spanish moss, alligators, and bayous. Pierre: That is why we are Barking from the Bayou.

Funny Farmer Canines: What kind of mischief do you prefer?

Bentley: I don’t get into too much mischief. I enjoy playing, going for walks, and belly rubs. However, don’t leave food in snout’s reach. I’m not above snatching it. That’s not mischief, it is just a fact.

Pierre: I am the chief squirrel chaser and toy de-stuffer. Barking to alert everybody of possible dangers outdoors is in my job description. I can’t count the number of times it has been up to me to warn them of mailmen, package deliveries, humans jogging, or other dogs.

Funny Farmer Canines: How long have you been blogging and what inspired you to write a multi-faceted blog?

Bentley: We started our blog in December of 2013, so about a year and a half.

Pierre: We enjoy making people laugh along with introducing them to new products, bringing them the news, and fun dog stories.

Photo provided by Barking From the Bayou

Funny Farmer Canines: You are co-anchors of the BFTB NETWoof News with Weather Lab Paisley. Tell us a little about this.

Bentley: Yes, we are co-anchors on our weekly news report. It is featured every Monday and we share good news stories about dogs and other animals. We even feature sports, so if any of your readers have pets that participate in sports or agility, tell them to drop us a note.

Pierre: Bentley and I are responsible for the headline news and sports. Paisley is our Weather Lab because she is a chocolate Lab. She gives a great forecast and plays a mean game of chase. We love her.

Funny Farmer Canines: You two head the Blogville Administration's Office of Media Relations. Would you explain the duties of this office?

Bentley: Certainly, the office of Media Relations involves us reporting the major happenings and announcing upcoming events like the Blogville Rodeo. We try not to repeat gossip, but there are times when we share some juicy Blogville tidbits.

Pierre: It also gets us great seats for things such as the mayoral debates. We still get to participate and bring our girlfriends to the dances. We also serve with the Blogville Police Department and share any criminal information with our citizens.

Funny Farmer Canines: You work so closely together on the blog, the NETWoof, and the Media Office. Does this ever cause any friction between you or are you in tune with the direction and output of each task?

Bentley: We are pretty much in tune with each other. He does steal my toys and has been known to de-stuff some of my favorites. I have to bop him on the head when he does that. It’s my duty as the oldest.

Pierre: Yeah, he is fun to mess with and I like to get him chasing me. We usually get two of each toy because I am expected to rip one to shreds.

 Funny Farmer Canines: If your mom were to describe what makes each of you special, what do you think she would say?

Bentley: She would get all mushy. It is just what she does whenever she talks about me. Sometimes it is embarrassing. You see, I changed her entire life. She is an author and I inspired her book series, The Returns. My face is even on the cover of the first book. I’m also the reason that she changed her blog from an author/book blog to a dog blog. I have a seven on my side and I am her seventh dog. She even got a tattoo last week with a heart, dog paw and #7 in it. I tell you, the woman is obsessed with me.

Pierre: She is my Gramma and so I get spoiled rotten. It is the law or something. I sleep cuddled up next to her or on top of her. She thinks I am very smart and completely adorable. I am living the dream here with my Gramma, Papaw, and best bud, Bentley.

MARCUS:  Well, I might have missed the introduction, but I do know how to close this.  Bentley, Pierre and sometimes Paisley can be found at Barking From the Bayou.

Friday, June 26, 2015

Louie of Many Talents

MICAH:  Do I remember correctly, today is the day we cats get to post without the dogs horning in?

RUSTY:  Yes, that's correct.  In theory, at least.  Cyndi:, where are the dogs?

CYNDI:  Marcus is in the bedroom sleeping on the cedar chest.  Buddy is in Marcus' crate.  Sam is hanging over the orthopedic bed next to the crate lost in zzzzzs.  Merci, she's  ... where is she?

PERCY:  Merci is sound asleep beside Jan.  Any minute now we're going to hear her shriek as Jan suddenly swivels in her chair and scares the sleep out of Merci.

RUSTY:  And Jan will shriek because Merci has scared the iced tea out of her.

MICAH:  And all the dogs will be wide awake and want to "help" us.  So let's hurry up and get to the post.

CYNDI:  Thisweekweareinterviewing -

MICAH:  Slow down.  We can't understand a word you're saying.

CYNDI:  Don't blame me.  Rusty told me to hurry.  This week we are interviewing the Cat Scout Louie from the blog Awesome Louie.  He is a cat with many talents.

PERCY:  His story, Awesome Louie Salutes, Tweets and Blogs, can be read at Mousebreath, the ezine for cats and written by cats.

UPDATE:  This graphic is posted on the CB today.  We're not sure who made it, possibly Mo?

This card was created by Miss Ann of Zoolatry. 

We hope Dezi and Lexi's graphic is animated for you.  Animation often "dies" when posted to Blogger, but the stars twinkle on this one.

Jan:  When I came online this morning I wondered why there are more comments than usual at that hour.  I'd been running around the house and yard doing before breakfast chores and forgot today is my birthday. Thank you all for making me smile.  Amber, now I know why I don't have a birthday cake.  You already ate it.  :) That's okay.  Mr. Doug brought me a birthday pie.  Banana cream. 

Friday is also time for the Pet Parade blog hop, hosted by by Rascal and Roscoe.  It is co-hosted by Bionic Basil, Barking From the Bayou, Love is being owned by a husky, and us (Jan's Funny Farm).

There are two parts to the blog hop - your blog url and social media, so be sure to sign up for both. 

When you link up with the blog hop, we encourage you to visit other participating blogs.

Tuesday, June 23, 2015

Three Paws and Two Ears

MICAH:  *peering through the screen door*  Hey, what are you guys doing out there?

MERCI:  Oh, Jan has some new food she wants us to try.

PERCY:  Can we have some?

MARCUS:  No way!  You cats have your own food.  Stay out of ours.

SAM:  How long does it take Jan to turn on the camera?  We're going to die of starvation while she looks for the Funny Farmer Portrait Setting on it.

MARCUS:  While we're waiting, we can tell you what it is we're waiting to taste.  It's the new Solid Gold Hund-N-Flocken Lamb, brown rice and barley dog food.

BUDDY:  It's holistic.  Holistic means it's supposed to be good for the whole system, both mind and body.  It's too late to save Marcus' mind but perhaps this food can help his body.  Maybe shorten his ears a little?

SAM:  Our usual diet is kibble or kibble mixed with some canned food, so Jan introduced the new food by splitting a can between us.  Well, not a can.  The contents.  The canned is on top of the dry food.  Look at those orange carrot pieces.

BUDDY:  Wait, let me check the label.  It contains vitamins and minerals, plus lamb, lamb liver, ground brown rice, barley, oatmeal, alfalfa meal, flaxseed meal ....  and, yep, carrots.  You can read the list of ingredients for each Solid Gold flavor.

MERCI:  This food is made in the US without corn, wheat or soy (common allergens) and also without fillers, by-products, artificial coloring, flavoring or preservatives.  It should be a nutritionally complete and balanced meal for dogs of any size.

MARCUS:  The others had to eat out on the back steps for the photos, but I had a private dining room.

SAM:  Yes, you did.  When we first tasted the Solid Gold you were temporarily being fed in your crate because you were so food aggressive you didn't want to share the kitchen with the rest of us. 

MARCUS:  I've been paroled and Jan says my manners have greatly improved.  But I sure miss my private dining room. 

BUDDY:  *mumble, mumble, yes, but...so we're all agreed*  Okay, we canines voted and we all voted to give this new Solid Gold Hund-N-Flocken food a paw's up, so this food is four paw.  If we find it improves Marcus' mind, we'll revise that to three paws and Marcus' two ears.

We were not paid to review the Solid Gold food.  Chewy.com did provide us with the cans to taste test.  Any opinions expressed are entirely our own!

Note:  There is no Blogville interview today.  We were waiting on Puddles' answers but she just lost her fur sissy Whitney, hers will be delayed for some time.. 

Friday, June 19, 2015

Jaunty Jaguar

PERCY:  Well, this has been the week from Gmail / Thunderbird hell.  We had no idea a storm was brewing and we have not enjoyed one moment of it!

MICAH:  Last Friday we got notices for our Gmail accounts that Thunderbird (an email program on our PC) has not been compatible with their new accounts for a year so we should use Gmail webmail now.  In fact, Gmail blocked us from downloading email.  We got that taken care of and tried to download  and ...

RUSTY:  And it locked up our computer.  Over and over and over again.  Jan updated to v38 that is supposed to work with Gmail but nothing we have tried as of today has worked.  Jan has been at the "don't speak to me or I'll scream" point for days.  We've been set up with POP3 for many years and after 6 days of searching, we still don't know if Gmail still allows POP3.  It isn't working and it isn't mentioned, but that doesn't mean it isn't still available, only that gmail wants to force us to abandon it for IMAP.

CYNDI: Jan wants to keep her own filing system, not "co-ordinate" with gmail.  She believes she is quite capable to hit the delete key on her own to clean out webmail.  She is old and the brain of an old person doesn't comprehend half of what she reads so she has been having a meltdown. She did find a forum for each to leave a question, but doubts Google or Thunderbird will respond.  Would anyone like all of us furries to come visit until this blows over and Jan is fit to live with again? 

RUSTY:  Perhaps we should change the subject.  I hear Jan coming.  We can talk about the weather.  Hasn't the weather been nice .... no, that's not the word.  HUMID! 

MICAH:  Hasn't the weather been hot and humid and stormy lately? Even Buddy, the "oh, come on, let's turn around and do another lap" wilted on the 9 am walk and begged to come home.

CYNDI:  I guess we should get to the interview.  We have a lovely feline interview subject today.  Jaguar doesn't have a blog but she is an active Cat Scout

PERCY:  Jaunty Jaguar Joined the Cat Scouts is available exclusively at Mousebreath, the ezine for cats.  It's fun reading so don't miss it.

Friday is also time for the Pet Parade blog hop, hosted by by Rascal and Roscoe.  It is co-hosted by Bionic Basil, Barking From the Bayou, Love is being owned by a husky, and us (Jan's Funny Farm).

There are two parts to the blog hop - your blog url and social media, so be sure to sign up for both. 

When you link up with the blog hop, we encourage you to visit other participating blogs.

Tuesday, June 16, 2015

Yente Ruby's Margaritas

Ruby and all those who have tried to view this post today, please accept our humble apologies.  We scheduled this for 12:30 AM but somehow it ended up as PM and we didn't get online until noon today to find you've all been looking for it and it wasn't here.  **sniff, sniff, Buddy wipes Merci's tears with a big paw**   We are so embarrassed.

MARCUS:  This is exciting.  We have another Blogville worker to interview.

MERCI:  Yes, we are enjoying these interviews, but there is some rather sad news we need to mention.. About a week and a half or so ago, we contacted Sasha, the official Chef of Blogville, for an interview and we were looking forward to meeting her soon.

SAM:  We won't get to meet her, though.  Sadly, she had to leave for the bridge Sunday and left her mom and all her friends very sad.

BUDDY:  Sasha was small in size but a large presence among the Blogville Administration and residents, so we will observe a minute of silence in her honor.

MARCUS:  Sniff, sniff. *wipes eyes with paw*  And now for this week's interview subject.

SAM:  The riotous Ruby the Airedale.

MERCI:  Straight from her latest performance at ... um, where was her latest performance?

BUDDY:  I have no idea, but she's here now, so ... Oh, wait, her last performance was on her Ruby the Airedale blog.

Funny Farmer Canines:  Please introduce yourself and your family.

Ruby:  Hey Blogville!!!  What up??!  My name is Ruby, and I am an Airedale Terror...um, I MEAN TERRIER.   I lives with my Ma (who doesn't give me enough cookies, in my opinion!  Just sayin'...)   My Gpa comes over to watch me when she is busy with non-Ruby stuffs.  I likes him cause he gives me LOTS of treaties that Ma never knows about....shhhhhhh ?

Funny Farmer Canines:  How did you come to live together? 

Ruby:  Wells, I came all the way from the great state of Wisconsin!!!   That is where my furry Mother and Father lives.  Ma flew me out to sunny California to lives with her, cause she couldn't resist my FABulous  picture!   Though,  I do miss the snow!  It doesn't snow here!!!!  bummer.

Funny Farmer Canines:  Tell us a little about the area where you live.

Ruby:  I lives in the most MAGICAL LAND of the Silicon Valley!   Noes, it's not full of  women with ENHANCED chests ~ it's where all the computer magic happens!!!  We gots Google, Facebook, Apple right heres (just to name  a few!).  Butts, Ma doesn't have that kind of dough!  Nopes (sorry Murphy, we won't be buying that yacht anytime soon ?), butts I loves living here ~ the weather is FABulous (wells, unless we're in a drought, like now!), and the peeps are pretty cool, and the doggies are most amazin'!

Funny Farmer Canines:  What kind of mischief do you prefer?

Ruby:  Wells, I likes all kinds of mischief....the more the betters, ya know?!   Butts, I LOVES nibbling on Ma's plants.  So much so, that she had to put them in 'Jail", behind doggie fences, so I wouldn't eat them all! hehehehe,  She says that it's better than putting ME behind the doggie fences!

Funny Farmer Canines:  How long have you been blogging and what made you begin?

Ruby:  I've been bloggin' abouts  three years.  Which is amazin', since it's impossible to keep my ASSistant in line!   She is forever not doin' her duties, and posting my most FABulous adventures!   I thinks I need a new one....anyone wants the job??? ?

Funny Farmer Canines:  You are in charge of Yente services under Hiz Honorz Murphy and Stanley.  We're not sure what that means so we need to ask what are your duties?   

Ruby:  My duties as Yente, Matchmaker ExtraordinAire, is to find Dates for anyone in Blogville that wants one!   Nows,  I'm not sayin' that everyone finds THE ONE, likes Me and Murphy ? (my Stud Muffin ??), butts I will try and find you a Date that you can have a most FABulous time with!

Funny Farmer Canines:  You were the Squirrel Patrol Officer in the Blogville Pawlice Department under Mayor's Madi administration and also under Murphy and Stanley's.  Does this entail training squirrels to be model citizens of Blogville?   

Ruby:  I wish I could say yes, butts those *asterick*' tree rats are completely UNTRAINABLE!!!   I've even had some throw NUTS at ME!!!  (no...not THOSE nuts Puddles.....)   So I've resorted to keepin' them outta Blogville!  It's a tough job, and sometimes it takes lots of margaritas.  Every once in a while, one gets through, and all hell breaks loose!  That's where my BACKUP comes in....the most TRUSTWORTHY Blogville Pawlice Department!   We, together, can take down any critter that tries to cause chaos!

Funny Farmer Canines:  We understand you attend all Blogville Festivities with your own Margarita Truck.  Are you hired by the Administration or is this something you just enjoy doing on your own?  

Ruby:  Oh, my Margarita Truck is totally INDEPENDENT!!   I wouldn't want Blogville to be legally responsible for what goes on at the Margarita Truck. What happens at the Margarita Truck....STAYS at the Margarita Truck....

Funny Farmer Canines:  We understand your mom has you on a diet to lose five pounds.  You are the Gurlfuriend of  Mayor Murphy.  We would guess that Hiz Honor doesn't agree with your mom on this subject?   

Ruby:  NO.  No he wouldn't!!!!   Not only does he thinks that my vettie's scale is BROKEN, butts he thinks I am just FABulous just the way I am.   That's why I loves him!  And....why he sends me secret stashes of cookies....shhhhhh

Funny Farmer Canines:  If your mom were to describe what makes you special, what do you think she would say?   

Ruby:  Wells, as any Airedale owner knows, we are A LOT!!!!  What?  Oh.  Wells, I guess that's just ME.   Okays.  Whatevers.  Well, I thinks she would say that her life would be BORING!!!  without MOI.  B.O.R.I.N.G.   Who would wake her up at 3am to go outside and enjoy the fresh aire???  Who would make those purty pictures on her windows???   Who would pharts and make her run out of the room, so she could get some exercise???   Who is goin' to slobber all overs her hair????  (I mean, that is the cheapest hair product you can gets!!! ?)  Who is goin' to rub their hinnie all overs her pillow when she's not home????   Like I said...BORING!     And, she knows I loves her to pieces, and do zoomies every time she comes home!  And she loves my stinky, furry arse!!

Thank you Miss Jan for interviewing me for your Bloggie!   I am most humbled, and will send you  a pitcher of Margaritas as my Thanks!

BUDDY:  Wait, stop the presses, stop the presses, STOOOOOOPPPPP THE PRESSES!!!!!

MARCUS:  What's the matter?  I thought the interview went very well.

SAM:  The interview did go well.  It's the postscript that's the problem.

MERCI:  Yes, WE did all the work, but JAN is getting all the credit.

BUDDY:  AND a pitcher of margaritas!  You don't see the problem?

MARCUS:  Not really.  Jan drinks a pitcher of margaritas, takes a long nap, and we have the computer all to ourselves for a few hours.  Or days, depending on how big the pitcher is.

BUDDY:  Good thinking, Marcus.  Okay, roll the presses again.

SAM:  Be sure to visit Ruby and her margarita truck at the Ruby the Airedale blog.

Friday, June 12, 2015

OliverHughes and Tanner

RUSTY: We hope we aren't late.  We were just putting our boat away.  We had a couple of downpours this week and figured a boat might come in handy. 

PERCY:  Ignore Rusty.  He's been afraid his fur would get wet and he'd drown from the weight.

RUSTY:  Well, I'm a big cat and I do have a LOT of fur!  It tangles and is heavy when wet.

CYNDI:  So stay dry.  You two do remember we are supposed to be posting on our Mousebreath interview for the week? 

MICAH:  Yes, to return to the ... wait, we can't return; we didn't start yet, did we?  Never mind!  This week we spent some time with Cat Scout OliverHughes and his brother Tanner from the Four Crazy Cats blog.

CYNDI:  So why are we only interviewing two cats from the four crazy cats blog?   You will have to read the interview.

PERCY:  You will enjoy getting to know the two cats as you read their story, OliverHughes Salutes and Tanner Blogs.  Both cats blog and Tanner is a good brother who helps OliverHughes with his Scout projects.

Friday is also time for the Pet Parade blog hop, hosted by by Rascal and Roscoe.  It is co-hosted by Bionic Basil, Barking From the Bayou, Love is being owned by a husky, and us (Jan's Funny Farm).

There are two parts to the blog hop - your blog url and social media, so be sure to sign up for both. 

When you link up with the blog hop, we encourage you to visit other participating blogs.

Tuesday, June 09, 2015

The Police Commissioner Speaks

We are pleased to be doing this series of interviews of the Blogville Administration and Law Enforcement, as well as any other Blogville resident who wanders near our keyboard.  To continue our series, today we have the Police Commissioner Sarge from the Sarge Speaks Out blog.  Sit up straight and listen closely.  Sarge said he might spring a quiz at the end.

Funny Farmer Canines:  Please introduce yourself and your family.

Sarge:  Hey Everyone!  Wow, first I want to bark a big thanks for interviewing me today!  You guys do amazing interviews and I'm thrilled to be here.  My name is Sarge and I'm a dog.  I share my blog with my two hermit crabby girls, Beachnut and Shelldon.   My peeps are Mom who works for the Commonwealth of PA and my Dad who is a retired law enforcement guy.  My Mom's Mom is Frankie Furter's Mom, so we like to say my Mom is Frankie's two-legged sister and Frankie and Ernie and I call ourselves cuzzins.  BOL

Funny Farmer Canines:  How did you come to live together?

Frankie:  My peeps had a much-loved Golden Retriever named Cisco and he was my Mom's bestest pal.   When he crossed the bridge in May of 2006, they went to the local shelter to adopt a new furiend.    I had just been weened and was there with my litter mates waiting for someone to scoop us up.   I was very quiet and cute and my peeps couldn't resist me.  My gotcha day was 5-20-06.

Funny Farmer Canines:  Tell us a little about the area where you live.

Sarge:  I live right on the edge of the Allegheny National Forest in Pennsylvania, USA.  My house is like a cabin and sits mostly in the woods on top of a small mountain. At the bottom is the Allegheny River. It's a very pretty area and has lots of nice creeks, lakes, forests and wildlife.

Funny Farmer Canines:  What kind of mischief do you enjoy?

Sarge:  My favorite joke is the one I play on my Dad nearly every morning.  As soon as he isn't paying attention, I run into the bedroom, jump on the bed, pull the covers back and slurp all over his pillow.  I mean I really soak it good!   BWAR HAR HAR   He flips it over and the next day I do the other side.   Oh, what fun.   I also like to tug on his pantlegs when I'm feeling frisky.  I really like to do that to Frankie's Dad the most, so we all call him Papaw Pantslegs. BOL I like to spend lots of time chasing critters in my territory.  I like to bash chipmunks.

Funny Farmer Canines:  You publish the Blogville Calendar.  Tell us a little about why you started it started and how it is doing.

Sarge:  Well, I started blogging myself on 8-29-10 when Frankie's Mamaw created my bloggie for me.    I discovered that I was spending a lot of my postings trying to get the bark out about all of the cool events and happenings in Blogville.  So, on 10-31-11 my Mom created the Blogville Community Calendar so everyone can see what's going on without me listing them on my own posts.  Right now it has 169 followers and gets about 15-25 pageviews per day. Most furiends seem to read it and move on, but I get a big wag out of the comments that our co-mayor Doods leave for me almost every day.

Funny Farmer Canines:  How long were you the Blogville Police Chief - under how many administrations?

Sarge:  I was first appointed Blogville Chief of Police by Mayor Frankie back on 12-19-10 and I served for both of his terms.   Then Mayoress Madi kept me on when she took over.   In her second term, she promoted me to Police Commissioner in November of 2013.      When Murphy and Stanley were elected Co-Mayorz, the honored me by keeping me on as commish.

Funny Farmer Canines:  What accomplishment are you most proud of during your tenure as Chief?

Sarge:  I was really proud and pleased with the Safety Week we had back in October of 2011.  It was wonderful.  So good in fact, that we did it again in August of last year and it was even bigger and better!

Funny Farmer Canines:  When His Honorz Murphy and Stanley became Mayor ... er, Mayorz, this year, they retained you as the Police Commissioner. Does this job seem a bit "tame" after being a "paws on" Chief, or do you still get to do police work?

Sarge:  Actually, I love being the Commish!  I still do lots of paws on work with our Top Cop Chief Bites and the other members of the safety staff, but I also get to do cool things like attend conventions and ride in parades.  I get to work alot with the Doods too. It's a super job and I'm very lucky!

Funny Farmer Canines:  You are related to Judge Frankie Furter from the Court of Common Fleas and Ernie the Attorney at Paw, so your jobs represent different facets of the law.  (Chatter around the dinner bowls at family reunions must be very interesting.)  Do you enjoy working so closely with family to protect the citizens of Blogville?

Sarge:  Oh, yes!  His MopHeadedNess Frankie does a great job from the bench and Ernie the Attorney has a perfect record of all wins and no losses in court.  We work great together.  Frankie's been around and really knows his stuff.  He has a great head for fairness and perfect judgements and sentences.   Ernie has a ton of energy and his assistant Roxy keeps him in line.  We have a super relationship.

Funny Farmer Canines:  Is there anything special you would like to institute during your stint as Commissioner?

Sarge:   I'm really enjoying our Working Wednesdays. I started those a few months ago and I'm seeing others jumping on board too. I'd love to see more of our safety employees posting about their on-duty work. They're all great employees and I know they are busy around Blogville keeping us safe and secure and I'm hoping more and more of them will start sharing their job adventures with us.

Funny Farmer Canines:  Whew!  We are relieved that Sarge was only kidding about the quiz.  As you know, we all take after Jan and she has a memory like a sieve.  Be sure to stop by Sarge Speaks Out to tell Sarge how grateful you are for his years of hard work in Law Enforcement.

And while you're there, make it a point to meet  Beachnut and Shelldon, the two hermit crabby girls.  They are neat!

Monday, June 08, 2015

Merry Monday

BUDDY:  According to Jan, rearranging things can cause a problem.  I wouldn't know.  We furries rearrange our beds and Jan's furniture to suit the moment.

MARCUS:  Makes us happy.  Don't know what Jan's problem is just because she trips over things she thinks shouldn't have been moved.

RUSTY:  And just because Jan leaves things on a piece of furniture doesn't mean they belong there.  So what's the problem when we move them to the floor to make room for ourselves?

MERCI:  Jan recently changed desks and now the keyboard is on top of the desk instead of under the desk.  Last night Jan visited Frankie and Ernie's blog and it acted weird.  When she tried to scroll down the page, the blog changed size.  It wouldn't stop growing and shrinking and growing and ...

MICAH:  She emptied the cache, closed/opened the browser.  Our blog worked fine, other pages worked fine, but Frankie and Ernie had locked into a thin ribbon of unintelligible posts.

PERCY:  That was funny, except when she got impatient trying to stop the elevator ride and pushed me aside. That's the last time I lay close to her and purr.

SAM:  Percy, you were the reason Frankie and Ernie's blog went berserk.  You were laying on the Ctl key. 

PERCY:  Well, next time she should cuddle me instead of playing on the computer.

CYNDI:  We just have to share this video of dogs using a cat door.  Enjoy. 

UPDATE:  Sadly, the video isn't available anymore. 

Friday, June 05, 2015

Humble for Free

MICAH:  Why are we doing this post?  It's only Wednesday.

CYNDI:  Where have you been?  It's Friday and time for another fabulous interview by us felines.

RUSTY:  Yes, our interviews are fabulous, aren't they?

CYNDI:  We're supposed to let other people say nice things about us, Rusty.  We aren't supposed to say nice things about ourselves.

RUSTY:  We aren't?  Are you sure?  Because I heard Jan telling herself what a great job she did when she put the ...

PERCY::  Stop right there, Rusty!  I know what you're about to say and you had better not tell that story if you want to eat here again.  Jan wasn't praising herself; she was beating herself up because she made a mistake.

MICAH:  Beating herself up?  Isn't that kind of dumb?  She could have hired someone to do that for her.

PERCY:  Now that would be interesting, Jan hiring someone to tell her every time she does something dumb.  That's why she has us.  We keep her humble for free.

CYNDI:  Hadn't we better get back on subject?  Today we're interviewing Ali from the blog Musings of a Senior Kitty.  It was nice to have the opportunity to get acquainted with her. 

Percy:  Yes, it was.  She not only blogs, but she's very involved in the Cat Scouts.  You can read her interview, Senior Blogging Cat Scout Ali, exclusively at Mousebreath, the ezine for cats written by cats, 

Friday is also time for the Pet Parade blog hop, hosted by by Rascal and Roscoe.  It is co-hosted by Bionic Basil, Barking From the Bayou, Love is being owned by a husky, and us (Jan's Funny Farm).

There are two parts to the blog hop - your blog url and social media, so be sure to sign up for both. 

When you link up with the blog hop, we encourage you to visit other participating blogs.

Thursday, June 04, 2015

Nip Toys and Hugs

PERCY:  Today is Thankful Thursday and I've been waiting a whole month to do this post.

CYNDI:  Excuse me, Percy, but you mean WE have been waiting to do this post.

PERCY:  Okay, wE have been waiting to do this post, but I have been waiting to post these pictures of myself.

RUSTY:  The pictures aren't very good.  They were taken with Jan's old camera and the flash won't work because the card is too full.

MICAH:  15 and Meowing sent these toys (not the pen) to ALL of us cats, but you couldn't even wait for Jan to turn on a light or twenty.

PERCY:  I was sleeping on the computer desk and the scent of nip overwhelmed me.  I couldn't wait to wrap my paws around those aromatic toys in the package beside me.

PERCY:  See, I'm inhaling deeply.

CYNDI:  Perhaps too deeply?  Look at that wild face!

PERCY:  You're just jealous because I got first crack at the nip toys.  Thank you, 15 and Meowing, from all of us kitties.


MERCI:  Where did that screech come from?  That sounded like Cyndi.


MARCUS:  What's an OOOOOOMPH?  Was that ... no, it couldn't be mancat Rusty.


SAM::  Something is going on around here.  That was definitely Percy.


BUDDY:  That was Micah.  What in the world is going on in there?  We should investigate. *peers nervously around the corner just as the cats race through the kitchen doorway*

MERCI:  Micah, wait, what's happening in there?

MICAH:  *peers out from under computer desk*  Jan has lost her mind.  She started hugging us.  Just out of the blue.  It's the scariest thing I've seen since I moved in here.

MARCUS:  Hugging you?  *peers over his shoulder*  She's not going to start hugging us dogs too, is she?

CYNDI:  Please move away from this chair.  I don't want Jan to know I'm hiding under it.

SAM:  Percy, where are you?  I can't see you?

PERCY:  I'm behind the curtain on the air conditioner.  Shhhhhh!

BUDDY:  What a bunch of wimps!  Jan has not lost anything ... well, I should take that back, she's been losing a lot of things lately.  But today is Hug Your Cat Day.  Jan was just celebrating with you.

RUSTY:  *one eye appears from behind the bookcase*  Oh, what a relief.  We were afraid she didn't have an OFF button and she'd just keep hugging us.  But I think I'll just stay here for a while to be sure she has it out of her system.

Have you hugged your cat today? 


Stop by Pepi Smart Dog and join the Thankful Thursday blog hop.

And stop by Ruckus the Eskie, Love is being owned by a husky, and Barking from the bayou for the Thoughtless Thursday blog hop.

Tuesday, June 02, 2015

The Mad Scots Speak

MERCI:  Rah, rah, hiss, broom, bra ...!!!

SAM:  Stop!  What are you yelling about, Merci?

MERCI:  I thought I would start today's post with a cheer.  Do you like my cheerleading outfit?

BUDDY:  I think the skirt is a bit long for your short legs, but otherwise you look fine.

SAM:  But what's this about "hiss, broom, bra"?

MERCI:  I don't understand it either but I listened to a few cheers online and I'm just repeating what some were yelling.

MARCUS:  I'm not an expert on the subject, but you might want to get your hearing checked, Merci. You are a bit old.

SAM:  Yes, definitely have your hearing checked.  That cheer sounds a bit weird, even for humans.

BUDDY:  Well, we thank you anyway, Merci, for opening our post with enthusiasm. We are interviewing the Mad Scots Susie, Sidebite andShadow from Blogville today. Pull up a chair and make yourselves comfortable.

Susie:  Before we start….Let ME just say…it’s best if I, Susie, answer these questions…...it will be better that way.

Funny Farmer Canines:  Please introduce yourselves and your human.

Susie:  Well, I am Susie “Da Sus” known as The Blogville Flash….I am a seven year old non-AKC Scottie Diva…very stubborn…and I always get MY way.

Sidebite:  Hi….my name is Sidebite “Dude”…..I am in charge of Blogville safety,  Top Cop Bites……..I am an 10 year old AKC Scottie…but I would not be trained, no way, no how, never, wasn’t gonna happen!

Mickey:  Then there is me, Mickey “Mick Mick”…. Bites is my half brother, which makes me half nuts and half just plain pawty guy!  I am Blogvilles North American Detective and I work for Bites.  I am an 8 year old AKC Scottie and the family escape artist.

Susie:  The Peeps, who think they are in charge are Mom, Marsha and Dad, Jim….and they are our guardians…aka, the ones who do everything for us…they take care of the home that us pups own!

Funny Farmer Canines:  How did you come to live together?

Susie:  The Nut Case Bites - Mom and Dad have always had a Scottie in their 87 years of marriage………When the last one went to the Bridge, they wanted a pal…….Mom found a new litter of pups, so away they went to see the newborn… One was not yelping……Mom said that’s the one. When he was five weeks old, the lady called and asked if they could come and get him…she had to go out of country for her daughter’s wedding….so along came Sidebite.

Then came Silly ME - Bites bonded with Dad….Three years later, Mom really wanted some pup to bond with her….so she went online and started looking….found a lady with a rescue who said she had this skinny, underfed, scared little Scottie from a puppy mill. So off they drove.  It was like 87 hundred miles. The lady brought me out. Mom took ME in her arms, and I quit shaking……..Mom said we will take her……….on the way home I was wrapped in a warm blankie, next to Mom…the car Radio was playing Credence Clearwater’s “Susie Q”….so that was ME…….Susie.

And, of course, Pawty Guy - Now, Mickey…well he was the pup of their son….but they got another Dog…….and, well, let’s just say the wars were on….so Mom and Dad said that he was coming to live with us before something bad happened.

Funny Farmer Canines:  You are known as the "Mad Scots".  Dare we ask how/why you came by this nickname?

Susie:  That’s an easy one……first we are all Scots……..Mom is half Scot…but we don’t hold that against her. I believe that name came because of me and Bites…..see I am really silly outside running around like krazy…stealing rags out of Dads shop……barking at anything, even the Peeps…….and Bites, he likes to run up the storm shelter and jump off the backside….chase and bark at ME….Dad saw us and said “you guys are mad”….and I said “yes Dad, we are quite Mad, Mad I tell you, Mad….Barharhar”.

Funny Farmer Canines:  Sidebite, you are the Blogville Police Chief.  Please tell us a little about your duties.

Sidebite:  OK, I am The Top Cop, Chief of Police and run the Blogville Safety Department.  Police Commissioner Sarge retired at the end of 2013 and passed this position to me. I run the complete operation with a highly trained and qualified staff. With Mickey’s help….I keep my staff listening to Blogville citizen for any troubles…and we have a some undercover stool Roosters that have their ear to the criminal world…I then assign staff to investigate, once we have data on a potential problem.  Commissioner Sarge, Detective Mickey and myself form a plan to handle any situation. I am a hands on kinda guy…..I love getting in the middle of stuffs like this!

Funny Farmer Canines:  Are there any special policy changes you have made or intend to make during your term as Chief of Police, Sidebite?

Sidebite:  No, not really…I pretty well carry on what Sarge started…other then I have built a large underground , undercover operation to root out the criminals of Blogville. Along with the wonderful job of Deputy Top Cop Ranger, a Junior Officer Training Program was started this year, which will train the youngsters to become Full Patrol Officers, and take over one day.

Funny Farmer Canines:  Mickey, you are the North American Detective for Blogville.  What does your job entail?

Mickey:  Well, my main duties are to investigate ANYTHING going on in North America….guess you might say I am the ears to the ground listening to our stool roosters for information…..along with the other Detectives, we are the ones keeping Sidebite busy…..we do the dirty work. I also fly Sidebite around in one of the Blogville Police Helicopters for various functions.

Funny Farmer Canines:  Susie, do you assist either of your brothers with their work?  If not, what do you like to do to keep busy?

Susie:  Well, understand please, Sidebite is my guy and I am his “Sweetie Petunia”.  We are not related but we been together since I was one year old…….and good old Mickey is Sidebite’s half-brother. I don't help in the police stuff….I pretty much run the household, even the peeps…see, I am just one stubborn little gal. Keeping busy is not hard for ME…I run and Bark at everything….it’s awful busy being out in the country keeping all the stuffs around us in line!

Funny Farmer Canines:  Tell us a little about the area where you live.

Susie:  Ohhhhhhh, this is the best part.  See, we live outside of the Oklahoma City area in a small town…….we have over an acre of property….and we are next to the little electrical substation and a full 20 acre farm right to the back. They gots cows, horses, chickens and a Rooster that drives Bites nuts. The horses come to the back and visit us sometimes, and across the road are like 87 cows and bulls……oh, doggies, are they fun to bark at. To the other side is our small neighborhood.

Funny Farmer Canines:  What kind of mischief do you each prefer in your spare time?

Susie:  Well lest see. Bites, now he is a barking machine…..he likes to catch birds….well, he tries. He ain’t that fast anymore. He loves roaming in Dads shop and carrying off rags and tools. He will drag away anything he can. Dad calls him a hoarder!

OH MY, Mickey, he is just the house jester, will grab anything and play keep away….Oh, and he is a tennis Ball FREAK….always carrying one around. His best trick is stealing food off of the table and plates….the little booger jumps in a chair and gets on the table……..Peeps have to not get up and leave stuff setting around!

As for ME….well I am the Number One barker, rodent chaser, rabbit chaser…Dad is always finding little chewed packages around the yard….but the best little thing is, I am so good at ignoring Mom and Dad when they call ME…I just sit down and look at them….they try to come and get ME, I run, wag my tail and sit down again, over and over, till I decide to go to them!

Funny Farmer Canines:  If we asked your mom what she loves most about each of you, what do you think she would reply?

Susie:  Well, I guess it would be the same for each of us, it’s that we are so stubborn, after all we are very much Scotties with a Scottie-tude. But most of all we love them, want to be with them, and we know they love us, and Dad says their lives would not be the same without us.

Funny Farmer Canines:  Please stop by their blog and let Susie, Sidebite and Shadow know how grateful you are Sidebite and Shadow are working so hard to protect Blogville while Susie protects their homestead.