Tuesday, July 17, 2018

Warm Butt, Warm Brain

Taylor: Jan says we are a strange bunch. I think we're perfectly normal cats.

Percy: What about Marcus?

Taylor: I wouldn't call him perfectly normal about anything. Marcus must be related to Micah.

Percy: Why would you say that?

Taylor: Do you remember this picture of Micah sitting in a cast iron skillet on the stove? He said the pilot light keeps the pan warm.  (Butt Warmer Skillet)

Percy:  Yes.

Taylor:  Then he took to sleeping with his head in the skillet.

Percy:  He said it protected him from brain freeze.

Taylor:  Jan got tired of washing the skillet without having used it, so she turned it over on the burner.

Percy:  And Micah took to sitting on top of the bottom of the skillet.  (There are no pictures.  Just flip the skillet in your imagination.)

Taylor:  Have you ever sat in or on a skillet to keep your brain or your butt from freezing?

Percy:  No. 

Taylor:  Have you seen any other of the Funny Farmer Felines doing so over the years?

Percy:  No.

Taylor:  If Marcus could climb on the stove, do you think he would skillet-sit?

Percy:  Now that you mention it, I do. He would need a much larger skillet, though.

Taylor:  Don't worry, Jan has a larger one.  I was just pointing out that skillet sitting or sleeping is not normal.

Percy:  But I can see it now.  When we're freezing next winter, we won't care about "normal". We'll have to all huddle together on the stove for warmth.

Taylor:  In that case, we'll probably need a bigger skillet.

Friday, July 13, 2018

Let There Be Light

Micah:  Do you think Jan is going to make it through the summer?

Rusty:  I hope so.  Why do you ask?

Micah:  Well, if she is supposed to be ancient, why is she working so hard in this weather?  Heat and humidity mean it's time for extra naps but she's been doing extra work.  Is she backwards or what? 

Rusty:  Definitely backwards!  But we've had so much rain everything is growing like weeds and she can't keep up.  Remember this tree limb? (Sawing Branch as Percy Turns 14) She sawed it off on Sunday and fortunately, got some help cutting it up or she wouldn't have been able to open our canned food this week.

Micah:  It did help to let some sunshine in the side yard so the grass won't die. But it wasn't enough.  So Tuesday, she looked and found the limb on the neighbor's tree she cut over our property last year had branched out and grown over our yard again.

Rusty:  So Jan cut it?

Micah:  Um, not exactly.  She couldn't reach it with the saw on a pole, so she used a "grabber" for disabled people to pick up things, grabbed and pulled the end of the branch, leaned her weight on it until it started to crack, twisted it round and round, back and forth, leaned on it a few more times and finally it broke off!

Rusty:  That's what it gets for growing over our yard and blocking sunlight, but that sure is a strange way to take down a branch.

Micah:  Yes, but you know Jan often has a strange way of accomplishing things.  This was a smaller-sized branch and Jan was able to cut this one up by herself.

Rusty:  And then Wednesday morning she got a shock!  Our neighbor has refused to cut his bushes.  Our phone and power lines run through them.  They also block sunlight from our pen.

Micah:  I remember this is what it looked like over there last year.  With all the rain we've had, those bushes grew higher than the pole where the lines are attached.  Between our tree, their tree and their jungle, it's been a bit dark and claustrophobic over here.

Rusty:  Jan practically did a dance when those two guys showed up to trim the bushes next door. When they left, our power and phone lines had been liberated and there is now a small path for sunlight to the dog pen.

Micah:  Do you think Jan was serious when she said she could kiss the neighbor's landlord for sending those guys over to do the trimming on their property?

Rusty:  No, you know how humans are always saying things they don't mean.

Micah:  Unlike us.  We always mean what we say.

Rusty:  By the way, you promised to repay the two dollars you borrowed last week.

Micah:  And I will.  Just as soon as my ship comes in. 

Cyndi:  It's been a few months since we Funny Farmer Felines last posted a Mousebreath interview.  Today we feature the Hipster Kitties from Dennis the Vizsla's blog.  Many of you know them.  The little black and white cats and the big red one with the white face.  What do you mean the big one is an imposter?  Are you sure?

Percy:  Stop by Mousebreath to read their interview, Hipster Kitties Charlee and Chaplin  … and Dennis.

Monday, July 09, 2018

Sawing Branch As Percy Turns 14

Happy 14th Birthday, Percy!  You have come a long way since Merci rescued you as a tiny kitten.  You grew into a handsome, cuddly guy.  We all love you!   Well, perhaps not Micah, but in general, you are loved. 

Thank you, Pipo, Dalton & Petcretary for the birthday graphic! 

Marcus:  Since today is a special day, even though it's not Tuesday or Friday, we thought we would share some of why we haven't been around very much.  Jan is swamped with both indoor and outdoor work, and our computer has been spending a lot of time with a blank screen.  A really nice friend has been helping us get the grass cut, but there is so much more that has to be done.  And with all the rain we've been having, everything is growing faster than usual.

Rusty: Two years ago Jan, with a little help from Mr. Doug, sawed some branches on the tree outside the pen.  The branches were so long and the leaves so dense, no sun could reach the dog pen and all the grass died.  Now the branches have grown so much the side yard is in danger of dying too.  

Marcus:  So Sunday Jan decided to cut down one of two huge limbs reaching almost to the sidewalk.  She tackled the larger one.  She sawed and sawed and finally the limb came down.  But just before it did, a man who turned out to be a new neighbor was passing and asked if she needed any help.  When the branch falls, the saw on the pole causes Jan to lose balance and she has a hard time holding onto the pole, so she took him up on that last little bit.  The long branch crashed, taking out half a bush. 

Rusty:  Then came the really fun part!  The branch was waaaaaay too long to put out for pickup.  It had to be sawed into smaller parts.  Evidently it's actually harder to saw a branch on the ground than on a tree.  It was interesting to watch Jan sweat as she sawed away without getting anywhere. 

Marcus:  And then this nice man named Willie appeared  around the tall, leafy end of the tree asking if she needed help.  She started to say no, but the past couple of years have taught her she can't do what she used to force herself to do, so she accepted. (Willie said it is okay to post this picture of him working.)

Rusty:  Marcus and I laid on the steps and snoopervised.  That's hard work too.  As you can see, all they had to work with with a small saw and a saw on a pole. 

Marcus:  Then Willie piled the pieces by the curb while Jan raked up the loose leftovers.  Willie said, "The Lord must have led me this way today."  Jan is so thankful for that!  She could not have lifted or dragged those last two pieces of the branch. 

Rusty:  As much as she claims to hurt, it's good she was rescued and didn't have to saw that branch for pickup.

Marcus:  Speaking of pain, what's with Jan limping and moaning about the pain in her ankle being worse than the pain in her neck and shoulders.  I didn't see her standing on her head sawing with her feet, did you?

Rusty:  No, but I sure would have liked to.  There's another big branch she'd like to cut down. When she finds someone with an electric saw, we can snoopervise again.  But this time we won't blink!  

Friday, July 06, 2018

Wait for Punch Line

Cyndi:  I don't have any idea what to post today.  Do you?. 

Taylor:  How about a joke? 

Cyndi:  It's hard to think of a joke since we're all missing Merci and Those That Came Before Her. 

Taylor:  I never met Sam but I understand he was the clown who kept you all laughing.

Cyndi:  Yes, he did, and he had a joke for every occasion. 

Taylor:  Even for a funeral?

Cyndi:  Actually, yes.  He liked to say, "I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather."

Taylor:  Sam knew his grandfather?  I never knew mine.

Cyndi:  Not Sam's grandfather.  It could be anybody's grandfather.  It's a joke!

Taylor:  Ha, ha, ha, ha.  A good one.

Cyndi:  You're supposed to wait for the punch line before you laugh.

Taylor:  Oh, good, because that definitely wasn't funny.

Cyndi:  Sam would say,  "I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather - not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car."

Taylor: **pause**  So what's the punch line? 

Cyndi:  That was it. 

Taylor:  I thought you said Sam was funny..