Friday, April 06, 2018

Butt Warmer Skillet

Merci:  Aha!  Jan finally caught you hanging out in her little iron skillet.  You are in trouble now!

Micah:  Oh, she's known about this for some time.  She just finally caught it with the camera.

Merci:  Why are you sitting there anyway?

Micah:  It keeps my butt warmer than just sitting on the stove top.

Merci:  But then Jan has to wash the skillet every time she wants to use it  Don't you feel the least bit guilty you're making her do extra work?

Micah:  No, it keeps her out of trouble.

Merci:  In that case, can you find me a step ladder and a slightly larger skillet?  I'm old.  I could use a butt warmer too.

Jan: It will be some time before the Mousebreath interviews can resume.  The only reason we are finally back online is thanks to the kindness and generosity of Mr. Doug. (Thank you!)  All our pictures, data, bookmarks, emails, addresses are on the old computer's hard drive so we don't have anything to work with.  Until Mr. Doug has time to see if he can work some magic, we won't know if they can be retrieved.    

Except for the Hipster Cats and Marg's Animals, we can't remember what cats were on the interview list.

Also, with this hand injury (Razor Sharp Teeth), I'm going to have to stop trying to type unless necessary.  It's just too painful and basically unreadable anyway.  I believe you can read this, bit it's taken a lot of extra time and retyping to make it readable. 

Please be patient with us.

We are joining the Pet Parade hosted by Rascal and Rocco and co-hosted by Bionic Basil and Barking from the Bayou.

Tuesday, April 03, 2018

Razor Sharp Teeth

Micah: Okay, Marcus, the other Funny Farmers are asking questions.  Start explaining to them. 

Marcus:  Explaining what?

Rusty:  Explaining why Jan is limping around on our new computer which she is far from finished setting up for our convenience.

Marcus:  Oh, that.  I was wondering the same thing myself.  She used to be a touch typist.  Now she can't find the keys and has to keep correcting, correcting, correcting.

Micah:  That's because she has only one and a fraction hands.

Marcus:  Either of you know what happened?

Rusty:  It just so happens I do.  I was taking a sun bath in the dog pen at the time.  You bit her, Marcus!

Marcus:  How can you say that?  I've never bitten anyone in my life!

Rusty:  I saw you do it.  Jan got tired of throwing your ball overhand because it spewed mud (dirt and saliva) on the house siding that she just washed and all over her, including in her face and hair.  She started throwing the ball underhand.

Micah:   Which brought the ball down to your level.  You always turn and run when Jan throws the ball, but this time -

Marcus:  Wait a minute.  You weren't even there!

Micah:  Rusty told me all about it and I also heard Jan talking on the phone..

Rusty:  You're so easily excited.  After a number of throws, you suddenly realized the ball was close enough to grab and instead of turning to run and catch it, you leaped forward.  You did catch the ball when Jan let it loose, but Jan's fingers were still attached and your jaws closed over them.  You scraped some fingers but your razor sharp teeth did a number on one. See?

Marcus:  I did that? Are you sure?

Rusty:  Yes. The dark red is blood.  The orange is iodine.  The injury happened Saturday.  This picture was taken yesterday, Easter Sunday..

Micah:  Why did you think Miss Pat asked Jan if she has forgiven you yet?

Marcus:  I thought is was because I tore the ball into little pieces when Jan suddenly stopped playing and disappeared.  I was bored.

Rusty:  The outside ball wasn't that important.  It was barely held together with duct tape because your teeth are so sharp. 

Marcus:  Jan didn't mention I was responsible for her hand injury,  Do you think she'll ever forgive me? 

Micah:  No!

Rusty:  Oh, stop crying, Marcus!  He was just kidding.  Jan knows it was a freak accident, so there's nothing to forgive.

Micah:  Why don't you go offer to finish setting up the computer so we can get back online? 

Marcus:  What a good idea!  I'll go do that now.

Rusty:  Are you nuts?  Marcus doesn't know the first thing about computers. 

Micah:  No, but Jan needs help typing.  Surely he can't bloody a keyboard!  Or can he?

Friday, March 30, 2018

Rusty, Dr. Seuss and March Lost

Have a blessed Easter Sunday.

Cyndi: Wow! We've been missing a whole month! We were working on posts for early March when Win 10 suddenly decided to change settings and put our computer into permanent hibernation, so we're just going to combine the posts here. We're not actually back yet but hope to be soon.

Micah:  March 1st was Rusty's 14th birthday.  He's still a handsome guy and we're sure happy he is still with us.

Cyndi:  Happy belated birthday wishes from all of us, Rusty.

Rusty:  Thank you.  But have you seen my cake?  I can't find it.

Micah:  I haven't seen your cake but Jan's in the kitchen.  You should ask her - .

Rusty:  Thanks.  I'll go check.

Micah:  - if she left you any.

I promised to fill Sam's hats,
But I don't have his whacky knack.
I miss all these guys, 
so hats I will try,
But, Sam, I'm a quack in your hat.

March 2nd was the day we celebrate the birthday of Dr. Seuss, the author of those zany books for children.  Sam always loved any day he could wear a hat and was well-known for wearing either the wrong hat for the occasion or the wrong size.  He is dearly missed, as are the other five Funny Farmers in the graphic that have passed away over our blogging years.  (Sam, Buddy, Jenny, Cotton, Crystal & Cameron.)  We remember them with a smile on this zany day.

Percy: Our Kitty Loaf interview was scheduled for Friday, March 2nd. That was all set to self-publish so it ended up as our only March post.  If you haven't read it yet, stop by Mousebreath to meet Kitty Loaf Cats Arya and Django.

Taylor:  A month is a long time, Percy.  Do you suppose anyone remembers us?

Percy:  Jan can't remember remember Diddly Squat any more but hopefully some of our readers have a better memory than she does..

We are joining the Pet Parade hosted by Rascal and Rocco and co-hosted by Bionic Basil and Barking from the Bayou.

Tuesday, February 27, 2018

Popping Corn iWith Drizzle

Cyndi: I haven't napped in two hours and yet I can't get to sleep, Marcus.  You're a guy with stories.  Tell me a bedtime one, please.

Marcus:  Okay.  It was a semi-dark and overcast, and drizzly morning yesterday.  Jan was fixing our breakfast when she heard the faint but clear sound of popcorn popping.  She checked the microwave, even pulled the plug.  It wasn't the toaster; the coffeepot wasn't dripping, neither was the tea kettle.  It had to be the gas stove.  You know about a gas stove, Cyndi.  If it was leaking, it could go KABOOM!

Cyndi:  *leaps into air*  I asked for a bedtime story, not a nightmare!

Marcus:  Jan moved everything including the metal burners from the old stove and lifted the top.  Wow, was it crumby in there!  She stopped investigating to do some cleanup.

Cyndi:  Is she crazy?  She stopped searching for the source to clean under the stove top?  What if the popping corn had exploded?

Marcus:  You know how easily Jan is distracted.

She started pulling things away from the wall.  She rolled away the plastic drawers and then the microwave cart.

Cyndi:  Let me guess.  She grabbed a broom and started sweeping back there!

Marcus:  No.  She looked behind the cabinet and stove.  The area was dry and there was no sign of popping corn.

Cyndi:  I know!  Mama mouse was in the wall popping corn while her little ones watched mini TV.

Marcus:  Stop interrupting me.  You know if there were mice, all of you cats would have been back there trying to punch a hole in the wall.

Jan glanced out the window..  Raindrops were bouncing off the igloo doghouse near the window in time to the popping corn.  Relieved, she moved everything back where it belonged.

Cyndi:  And then she finished fixing our breakfast?

Marcus:  Not yet.  Jan got to wondering why that igloo had been near the house for several years but it had never popped corn before.  It wasn't the igloo.  She went back to the window, leaned closer for a better view, and  -  You'll have to excuse me.  I need to go pee. Must be all this talk about rain.

Cyndi:  Marcus, come back here!  You haven't finished your story.

Marcus:  I'm sorry.  Jan forgot to come right back to let me inside.  Where was I?  Oh, yes, Jan leaned closer for a better view and saw the plastic storage bin she had been using to haul leaves to the curb upside down beside the igloo and the raindrops falling from the roof onto it did sound like popping corn.  The mystery was solved.

While Jan had been dawdling, Rusty had calmly munched half of Merci's kibble.  Jan refilled Merci's bowl and finally served us all breakfast.

There, now you can go to sleep.

Cyndi:  How?  I'm wide awake after your bedtime story..

Marcus:  Would you like me to tell you another one?

Cyndi:  Are you kidding!