Friday, April 29, 2016

Kitty Hit List

Taylor:  What is that?

Rusty:  That is a view through Jan's reading glasses, the ones she uses around the house.

Cyndi:  I never realized her head is so lopsided.

Micah:  I don't believe it is.

Percy:  So why are her glasses lopsided?

Rusty:  Because one of us kitties - and I won't incriminate myself, just in case it was me - knocked a bunch of stuff off of the computer desk. Again.

Micah:  What does that have to do with her glasses?

Rusty:  Well, the one of us who slept on the desk Tuesday night also knocked Jan's reading glasses onto the back of the typing chair seat and -

Cyndi:  Oh, yes, I knew Jan sat on something Wednesday but I didn't know what it was.

Taylor:  Can she still see to read with them?

Rusty:  I'm not sure if she has to tilt her head or just close one eye at a time but I think she can still read with them.

Percy:  She can probably see better with them than the time a month or two ago she thought she was going blind in one eye because she couldn't read as well with her left eye.

Micah:  Right.  After a couple days, she held the glasses at arm's length and discovered the left lens was missing.  She found it under the desk when she cleaned. 

Taylor:  I rarely go into the living room, but I did hear her telling someone on the phone she now buys two pairs of reading glasses at a time from the dollar store. 

Percy:  She only uses her prescription glasses when she is away from the house because glasses are on the kitty hit list around here.

Taylor:  Hit list?

Cyndi:  Yes, it's something like a demolition list.  I don't know why she blames us, though.  We only push them off the desk.  She's the one who sits or steps on them. 

Rusty:  To be fair, since one of us is distantly responsible for the condition of her glasses, perhaps we should do something to help her glasses fit better.

Percy:  Okay, but won't plastic glasses break if you try to bend them back into shape?

Micah:  You're right.  We'll have to bend Jan's head to fit the frames.  Any suggestions?

Thursday, April 28, 2016

Luke Sends Ice Cubes

Marcus:  Hey, is that all for me?

Buddy:  No, it's for me and Merci too.

Marcus:  Did Jan order these on Amazon?

Luke & Rosie
Buddy:  No, they came from our old friend Luke.  He was renamed Benny, but you know how forgetful Jan is, so to us he's Luke/Benny.  He lives in the Northeast and has a furry sister Rosie. 

Merci:  Why did he send us a gift box?

Buddy:  Because he and his family wanted to do something nice for us canines.  So they sent us some treats from where Luke/Benny's mom works.  It's a holistic pet store and Luke/Benny gets to go to work with her.  He picked these out himself.

Marcus:  I remember meeting him before he went into rescue and was sent to the NE where his new family adopted him.  Did Teresa get a box too?

Merci:  I don't know.  Teresa rescued him from his mean family when we couldn't help him any more because you were here, Marcus, and Teresa couldn't take in another dog either.  Teresa and Jan are just so happy he has a good home, lives indoors, has a playmate sibling and gets a lot of love.  Now he has a family and a job.

Marcus:  Well, I am sure thankful they thought of us.  Hurry up and open the treat. 

Marcus:  Oh, that looks good.  It's a what, Jan?  A 100% natural Himalayan Dog Chew made with yak and cow milk?  Sounds yummy.

Merci:  Thank you Luke/Benny, Rosie, Elise and Matt.  We will enjoy everything, if Marcus doesn't hog the entire box.

Buddy:  I was just thinking about the video we have watched several times of Luke helping himself from the refrigerator ice machine.  He sure is a smart guy.

Marcus:  That's right.  He does filch ice.  Do you suppose he included some ice in the package?

Buddy:  *winks at Merci*  Of course he did.  Who in their right mind would ship a package of dog treats without including crushed ice?

Marcus:  Thanks, Buddy.  I'll just run in and make sure Jan put the ice in the freezer before it melted.

Join Pepi Smart Dog and friends for the Thankful Thursday blog hop. 

Wednesday, April 27, 2016

What Is It?

Marcus:  What are you staring at, Percy? 

Percy:  It's a bird on the pole outside.

Marcus:  I don't recognize it. Does anyone know what it is?

Percy:  Yes, it's gone.

Tuesday, April 26, 2016

Best Behavior

Buddy:  How can any dog so guilty look so innocent?

Marcus:  You mean me?  But I am innocent.

Percy:  No, you aren't.  Jan is very upset with you.

Marcus:  Now what does she think I did?

Buddy:  You ruined her video!

Marcus:  I did not!

Percy:  Whenever you so much as suspect you might be going for a walk, you act like a crazy dog.  You run around yelling at all of us that you are going to take Jan for a walk.

Buddy:  You grab the leashes, push Merci and me out of the way, and try to make Jan leash you first.

Marcus:  What's wrong with that?

Buddy:  I'm not done.  When you are leashed, you run around with them (two) in your mouth screaming, I'm ready, let's go!

Percy:  And then you race through the door.  Buddy tries to hide behind the storm door.  Merci hangs back afraid to go outside because you tug on her leash and scream in her ear.

Marcus:  I -

Buddy:  I'm still not done!  You leap around screeching at the top of your -

Marcus:  I don't screech, I bark.

Percy:  You screech.  We all hear you.  It's high-pitched, annoying and hurts our ears.

Buddy:  You act like a total jerk.  All the neighbors can testify that you screech.

Percy:  You photobomb most of our pictures because you are such a ham.  Yet, when Jan finally remembered to take out the camera to video your excessively excited antics, you sat down and quietly stared at her.

Buddy:  She put the camera away and opened the door.  You went bananas.  She took the camera back out and all she got were short videos of Merci staring back at her.  You weren't even in the videos.  Poor Merci looked like she was waiting for the porch roof to fall on her, so Jan deleted them.

Buddy:   I don't understand.  If you could behave while the camera was on, why can't you behave the rest of the time?

Marcus:  I had to be on my best behavior while the video was recording.

Percy:  Why?

Marcus:  Because I have to live up to my reputation of a well-behaved gentleman.  

Percy:  Come to think of it, this sounds familiar.  Buddy, you used to do the same thing.  You would go crazy with excitement but as soon as the camera was turned on, you were the model of obedience.

Buddy:  Oh, yes, I forgot how much fun I had when I was young.  *pats Marcus on head*  Good job, Marcus.  Keep up the good work.