Monday, October 31, 2016

Halloween Bleeding Pumpkin 2016

Marcus destroying his Halloween costume.
Merci:  Taylor, have you ever heard the Halloween story of the bleeding pumpkin?

Taylor:  No, is it a good one?

Cyndi:  Oh, you better believe it's good.

Rusty:  You know that we don't do Halloween decorating.  Have you ever wondered why?

Taylor:  Actually, this is my first Halloween with you. I'd guess we can't afford to decorate.

Marcus:  Actually, before your time, Jan got a big pumpkin to carve for Halloween.  She figured if other people can carve one, she could too.

Our pumpkin patch by Nellie.

Micah:  So we all sat down to watch a spooky Halloween show on the TV while Jan sat at the desk with a large knife and carved a face on the pumpkin.

Buddy:  Just before the last commercial, there was a frightening scream behind us.  We all turned and there was the pumpkin with wide eyes and big teeth.  Blood was gushing out it's mouth and dripping from its eyes.

Percy:  I ran over and Jan's hand with the knife was inside the pumpkin/  Blood was spurting out of her wrist and through the pumpkin's eyes and mouth.

Taylor:  Jan cut herself with the knife?

Cyndi:  That's what we thought too, but Jan was screaming that the pumpkin bit her.

Taylor:  Bit her?  But pumpkins don't bite.  Er ... do they?

Merci:  That one must.  I dialed 9-1-1 with my nose for an ambulance.   An E.M.T. said he could see what appeared to be large tooth marks in her wrist. 

Rusty:  Jan was taken away to the Emergency Room to stop the bleeding.  After a while, two police officers came and read the pumpkin its rights.

Marcus:  They carried it outside, put it in the back seat of a squad car, and drove away.  We never saw it again.

Taylor:  I bet they made a pie out of it.  What about Jan?

Micah:  Oh, yes, we saw Jan again. She's been wondering the streets as a bag lady ever since.  Occasionally she stops by to say hello.

Buddy:   It was a traumatic night.   After that I never turned my back on another pumpkin. And we have never decorated for Halloween again.


  1. Hari OM
    oops sorry. Bag ladies unsettle me a bit... ;~).. hehehe.... You be sure to all stay clear of knives tonight, okay farmers?! Hugs and howlies, YAM-aunty xxx

  2. Happy Halloween Funny Farmers

    OHHHHHH those pumpkins can be devilishly sneaky, mew guys be careful....

    Spooky purrs

    Basil & Co xox

  3. Hilarious! I remember a Saturday Night Live episode with a pumpkin leaking blood as it was it was pulled from the air for being too graphic, but this post reminded me of that. Happy Halloween!

  4. Oh dear, I hope Jan's hand healed all goods. So Funny Farmers, have you let Jan back in yet??? The bad pumpkin am goned... or are you sure that's Jan? Maybe it's someone posing as Jan, like a clone.

    Just be careful of Killer Tomatoes too.

  5. We have always thought pumpkins were evil. Hope that one goes to jail for a long time

  6. Mr. M paid a disturbing amount of attention to this post....

  7. You need to patch your pumpkin! Happy Halloween everyone!!!

  8. Hope you all have a wonderful day.

    Luv ya'

    Dezi and Raena

  9. A BAG Lady... BaaaaaWaaah... That is FUNNY. Butt we don't think the Bleeding Pumpkin that BIT Miss Jan was very nice...

  10. YIKES!!!

    Happy Halloween!

    The Florida Furkids

  11. That was scary! Happy Halloween!

  12. Oh, we LOVE it that you are wondering the streets!!! At least your wrist is sewn up, thank heaven. That was the funniest story ever. Arrested a pumpkin...WONDERFUL.

  13. OMD! We can't blame you for being hesitant to try to carve pumpkins again. I love the bag lady look. BOL!

  14. HAH! Great Halloween story! You had me going for awhile.

  15. Great costume Jan! Good story. Happy Halloween!

  16. Happy Howel-ween!!!
    Great costume Jan!
    Thanks for being part of my Pumpkin Patch this year! It would not has been the same without yous!
    Nellie & Mommy

  17. That was a mean pumpkin (and a great Halloween yarn), gang!

    Happy Halloween!

  18. Goodness!! What a naughty pumpkin eh?? Watch out fur evil pumpkins you guys...



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