Sleep Without Splinters

Buddy: Yesterday we mentioned Jan bought an area rug so we won't get painful splinters, like she did from the floor. Today she vacuumed, washed the floor and finally opened my new bed.

Buddy: I jumped right on it, had a good scratch and laid down before Jan could change her mind and stuff it back in the package. (As if she could.) Jan kept telling me to get off so she could move it around and smooth out the wrinkles, but what's the problem? Wads and wrinkles give it character.

Sam: Jan was so insistent about Buddy moving, I resolved the problem by adding my weight. Go ahead, Jan, I told her, just try to move it with two of us anchoring it. Know what she did? She broke out the dog biscuits. We moved.

Merci: I like this mat. It's just my size. Notice it still has the tag on it? Jan doesn't trust Wal-mart products any more. (Remember the 3 dog collars she couldn't open? And the wobbly computer stand?)

Sam: Now that Jan has laid out our new bed to her satisfaction, it's time to try it out. Aaaaaa, such relief. Splinterproof.

Buddy: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz, snort.

Merci: Zzzzzz.

Sam: Niiii....zzzzzzzzz.