Funny Farmer Felines President

Percy:  Who's the kitty?

Buddy:  That's Marcus's new friend.  We've been seeing him on our walks the past couple of months.  We don't know if he's a feral that lives near the mill or someone abandoned him there.

Percy:  Marcus isn't planning on bringing him home, I hope!

Buddy:  No, but you know Marcus.  He says he tries to make friends with everything he meets.

Percy:  What do you mean, he says he tries?

Buddy:  You know how hyper Marcus is.  It's hard to take him seriously about making new friends when he's dancing about and making strange noises that he calls communication and I call gibberish.

Percy:  Well, that's one pretty kitty but tell Marcus if that cat steps one paw into this house, I will chase him out of Mayberry!

Buddy:  We don't live in Mayberry.  In fact, Mayberry was a fictional TV town.

Percy:  Well, chasing him out of town is my campaign promise and that isn't fiction, it's fact!

Buddy:  What are you campaigning for?

Percy:  President of the Funny Farmer Felines.

Buddy:  And what makes you qualified to run?

Percy:  I can beat up ... I mean, beat Micah or any other kitty that wants to run against me.  I also know how to stuff a ballot box.

Buddy:  What do you stuff a ballot box with?

Percy:  Kitty litter!  What else?

Buddy:  Oh, I don't know.  I was thinking ... votes?

Feline Thanksgiving Dinner

Rusty:  Hey, what is this?

Percy:  It's the Merrick Grain Free Thanksgiving Day Dinner we're going to review today. 

Cyndi:  I think Jan is hoping we don't like it.

Taylor:  Why?

Cyndi:  Evidently the cans are hard to open.  They're pop top but the top doesn't pop easily.

Taylor:  Do you suppose it's because she's old?

Cyndi:  She claims it's because the cans don't want to part with the contents.

Rusty:  That's possible.  This Thanksgiving Dinner is good.  I wouldn't want to part with it either.

Percy:  You do know cans don't get attached to their content, don't you? 

Micah:  Did anyone check out what's in it?

Rusty:  Yes, I did.  It has deboned turkey, turkey broth, deboned duck, chicken liver, peas, dried egg product, natural flavor, dried potato, sweet potato, carrots, cranberries, organic alfalfa -  A complete list of vitamins and minor ingredients can be found on Chewy's Merrick Purrfect Bistro Grain-Free Thanksgiving Day Dinner Minced in Gravy Canned Cat Food page.

According to Chewy, the key benefits are -

    Grain-free recipe.
    Added vitamins and minerals.
    No artificial colors, flavors or preservatives.
    Great for all life stages.

Both the 3 oz cans and the 5.5 oz cans are on sale at Chewy's now.

Taylor:  Why does it have vegetables in it?  Are we vegetarians?

Cyndi:  I'm not!  Humans are always telling children to eat their vegetables.  Maybe they think we're kids.

Percy:  This tastes pretty good.  Just don't tell Jan we're all eating our vegetables. 

Micah:  Yeah, she'll freak out.

Percy:  There are lots of little chunks in gravy.  Jan doesn't mind us eating this gravy because it just has a little gravy, not gravy as half the can contents.  Do we have any of this  Merrick Purrfect Bistro Grain-Free Thanksgiving Day Dinner Minced in Gravy Canned Cat Food left for Thanksgiving day?

Rusty:  Yes, Jan said she is saving some for us so we can have a turkey dinner too. 

Cyndi:  Let's ask Jan for seconds on Thursday so she can have extra fun popping the stubborn tops.


The product we tasted was provided by Chewy, but we were not paid for our review.  Chewy is not responsible for the content.

Fisticuffs on the Desk

Percy:  What are you doing on the desk?  I was here first.

Micah:  It's my desk too.  And I'm not bothering you.

Percy:  You bother me just by being in the same room ... in the same house.  Can I pack your bags for you?

Merci:  One of you needs to move - off the desk, not out of the house.  You know if you stay anywhere near each other you'll get into a fight.

Micah:  No, we won't.  I'll just stretch out over here and Percy can have that end of the desk.

Merci:  *three minutes later*  Jaaaaaaaaan!  Fisticuffs on the old desk!

Percy:  *two minutes later*  Zzzzzzzzz.

Micah:   Zzzzzzzz.

Merci:  I'm glad I'm not a guy.  I have never been able to figure them out.

Family of Five Photo

Cyndi:  Hey, this isn't fair.  There are five of you in this photo.  If you're going to have a family picture, I should have been invited.  Micah and Taylor, too. 

Percy:  We weren't invited either, so don't get upset.  I was just enjoying my Private Lounge and suddenly Jan snapped a picture.

Buddy:  At least you were caught lounging.  Rusty and I were taking a bath.

Cyndi:  Merci is dead to the world in Buddy's bed and Marcus is snoring in his Private Dining Car.  I'll never understand why he likes to sleep in there with the door open.

Percy:  I think he's hopeful if he stays long enough he'll get an extra meal.

Cyndi:  But he eats in the kitchen with the rest of us.

Buddy:  You know Marcus.  He's an optimist.

Percy:  Jan said she's pretty thankful to get five of us in the same photo. 

Cyndi:  Well, next time tell Jan to wait until the rest of us can get here.

Buddy:  Of course.  And by the time you and Taylor get done taking a bath, curling your hair and painting your toes, the photo hour will have passed and none of us will be in a picture.


We are joining Pepi Smart Dog and friends for the Thankful Thursday blog hop.

Amber Crown Collars

Cyndi:  Rusty, those are mine and Buddy's new necklace collars.  Why are you photobombing them?

Rusty:  Photobombing?  I'm just keeping them company while Jan takes a picture.

Cyndi:  The little one in the front is mine.  The darker one doubled over in the back is Buddy's.  His neck is a lot larger than mine.

Rusty:  Marcus, what are you doing down there?  You aren't supposed to be in this post.

Marcus:  But my fans will be unhappy if you don't include me.

Rusty:  Oh, okay, but you owe me big time!

Buddy:  The collar in front with the brown stones is my new authentic raw Baltic Amber Crown pet necklace.  It's supposed to repel fleas and ticks for up to one year without toxic chemicals.  Jan tried to get a shot of the actual stones but it was nap time and I wasn't cooperative.

Cyndi:  I have never worn a collar or necklace before and it took some getting used to.  The stones are small and they disappeared into my fur.  The necklace is supposed to release terpenes to naturally repel ticks and fleas.  Plus, parasites are prevented from clinging by static electricity from the friction against fur.

Buddy:  The first photos of the necklaces were taken on 5/17.  According to Amber Crown, "It usually takes up to three weeks of wearing to reach maximum repellent effectiveness."

Cyndi:  It would need to be replaced at the end of the year or when the stones become polished against the fur.  This and the remaining photos were taken on 6/21.  Sadly, you can see how much Buddy's "industrial strength nylon thread" has stretched.  There were wide gaps between stones.

Buddy:  Jan was very careful with my harness on walks.  The only thing she can figure is this happened from me scratching my neck.  She checked my face and there were fleas crawling all over it, something that was not supposed to happen while wearing this collar, so she didn't bother checking the rest of me.  If there were that many fleas so near the collar ...

Cyndi:  She let her contact know there was a problem and there didn't seem to be any concern.  But it bothered Jan so much she went on Facebook and messaged the company.  Seven days later she had an email address for them.  (Actually, one came with the collars, but a kitty who shall remain anonymous - unless he keeps bugging me - hid the individual boxes under furniture and they were only found last night behind some storage.)

Buddy:  She emailed the company her findings and concerns two weeks ago but has not received a response.  Tonight she noticed a graphic that claimed "up to 4 times larger Baltic amber pieces" on their campaign website, so she took a good look at the two collars.  The stones of each are different colors but they are most certainly not of much different, if any, size.

Cyndi:  I am a petite female kitty.  Buddy is a hound dog, several times my size.

Buddy:  They must have sent me one of the older models, not one of the upgraded "bigger, stronger" collars because it did not do anything for me.

Cyndi: On the other paw, Jan is very pleased with my necklace.  She chose me and Buddy for the review because we were both having a problem and she so wanted to for us to repel fleas and ticks naturally.  My coat has grown back silky and flyaway and all the scabs have healed - except, for some reason, the ones around my neck.  Jan thinks either the collar itches a bit or I prefer to go naked.  I'm not saying.

Buddy:  Jan would have liked for Amber Crown.com to respond to the problems with my collar so she could understand why mine failed and Cyndi's is a success.

Repeat:  Cyndi's cat necklace is a success.  The failure is with Buddy's dog collar.

We were given one cat and one dog collar for this review.  We received no other compensation.  Any opinions expressed are from our personal experience with the product. 

Jan Smiles at Smiling Paws

Taylor:  You would not believe the problems encountered to write this post.  And they all were caused by Winton.  You remember Winton. We wrote a whole post on how he was trying to keep us from downloading photos from our camera and processing them.  (Winton in the Doghouse)
 
Cyndi:  But Jan persevered through ice and snow and mountainous trails -

Micah:  What are you babbling about, Cyndi?  I think you're picking up Marcus's trait of exaggeration.

Cyndi:  Well, she did persevere through the heat and humidity.

Micah:  Okay, I'll give you that.  But no more fibbing.  Just tell the truth.

Percy:  We're supposed to be talking about the above photo.  Do any of you know what it is?

Rusty:  Yes, it's a litter mat.  An extra large litter mat, as you can see. 35" by 23.5". We have large pans and there is plenty of room on the mat for us to leap out and leave any litter stuck to our paws on the mat. 

Percy:  Jan likes it because it does catch those stray pieces of litter.  Every so often she just takes it outside and shakes the loose litter out of it. 

Cyndi:  As you can see, Rusty slept through the first photo session.  Here he is next to the extra large Smiling Paws Cat Litter Mat before Jan unrolled it and let it relax (flatten) on top of Marcus's crate for a few days before putting it to its intended use.

Taylor:  Some cat evidently read that the loofah like material is urine proof and decided to test it because while it relaxed on the crate, Jan wondered why Micah was using it for a scratching post one evening.  Actually, that wasn't what he was doing. To this day, Jan doesn't know which male was responsible and we're not tattling.  Micah, did you do it or were you just trying to cover Percy's pee?

Micah:  I don't pee and tell.  Not on myself and not on Percy.  Suffice it to say, Jan had only to spray it with cleaner, take it outside and hose it well.  The urine did not leak through the thick mat and drip on Marcus's bed in the crate.

Cyndi:  Jan loves this mat.  All the ones she has tried before have been much smaller.  It's good quality, is BPA free and has an anti-skid backing.

Micah:  It also has a money back guarantee if you are not satisfied.  Jan is very satisfied with ours.

Percy:  The nice people at Smiling Paws are offering 20% off on all orders on Smiling PawsPets.com.  Just use the coupon code "funnyfarm".

Disclaimer:  We received a litter mat for this review, but no other compensation.  Any opinions are our own - and we are very opinionated!

Taylor Changes Her Spots

Micah:  Hey, Taylor, do you know any jokes?

Taylor:  Yes, but I'm not telling any around here.  You guys are a hard audience for each other.

Micah:  I'll be gentle.  Honest. 

Taylor:  Okay.  How does a leopard change his spots?

Micah:  I'm guessing he uses Photoshop?

Buddy:  That depends on who took the picture.  The photographer might not want someone messing with her work and the leopard could be sued for copyright infringement.

Taylor:  I didn't say anything about anyone taking a picture.  It's a simple clear-cut question.  How does a leopard  change his spots?

Micah:  Not in public, I would hope!

Buddy:  In the bathroom?  No, the bedroom.  Wherever, behind closed doors.

Taylor:  How did a rich leopard get into this joke?

Micah:  How do you know he's rich?

Buddy:  Oh, I know.  Not every leopard has a bathroom or a bedroom.  Come to think of it, most leopards don't have a door to change spots behind..

Micah:  So how does a poor leopard change his spots, Taylor?

Buddy:  Hey, Taylor, where are you going?

Taylor:  When a leopard gets tired of one spot, he just moves to another!  And so do I.


We had a fun poem left in the comments of yesterday's joke by Rusty (Knock, Knock Orange) and we'd like to share it. 

Um...in or out...
wherevfur you may be,
you are funny!!
So do not pout,
let alone shout.
Just sit tight,
enjoy the sunlight,
And a big dose of nip...
Cause today
We heard you say:
Let me in; Let me out!

Thank you, Meezer's Mews and Freckles Woofs.  We like that!

Join Pepi Smart Dog and friends for the Thankful Thursday blog hop.  

Hold That Door

Rusty:  Hey, hold that door!  I'm coming in.

Never mind, I think I'll stay out for a while longer.

Jan, stop!  Don't you dare close the door!  I'm not done making up my mind.

Why did you close the door?  You know I want to come inside.

Just because you opened the door again, do I really want to come inside with someone who closed me outside?  You can just stand there and wait until I make up my mind.

Hey, come back here!  I'm not done thinking.

What do you mean I can text you when I'm ready?  I don't have a phone!


We are joining the Pet Parade blog hop with hosts Rascal and Rocco,  Bionic Basil, Barking From the Bayou and Owned by a Husky. 

Wild Calling Buffalo

Marcus:  Hey, Jan, this is for us dogs, isn't it?  We don't have to share it with the cats, do we?

Jan:  No, you don't have to share this food with the cats. 

Marcus:  Okay, then I'll keep my eye on it so the cats don't steal it.  That sure looks and smells good!

Buddy:  Aren't you going to tell anyone what it is?

Marcus:  Oh, sure.  This is Wild Calling Grasslands and it's 96% buffalo.  Click the link to check out all the different flavors, including - believe it or not - alligator.

Merci:  The label says it's grain free.  It also says "rotational diet" on the label.  I guess that means Jan should order a case of each flavor so we can enjoy variety.  What, Buddy?  I can dream, can't I?

Marcus:  It's also free of gluten and artificial flavors, colors and preservatives.  That should make Jan happy to feed it to us.
 

Buddy:  Marcus, you are such a photo hog!  Jan was trying to take a picture of the food on the back steps, not you.

Marcus:  Well, I think I'm more photogenic.

Merci:  The house would sure be a lot more photogenic if you didn't keep kicking mud over everything.

Marcus:  Mud adds character!

Merci:  Okay, Marcus, you're being served first in your private dining car.  As soon as Jan tells you it's okay to eat, you can tell us how the food tastes.

Marcus:  Mmmmmfth, mphlant - 

The ingredient list from Chewy.com: Buffalo, water (sufficient for processing), liver, guar gum, calcium sulfate, vitamins {vitamin E supplement, niacin supplement, l-ascorbyl-2-polyphosphate (source of vitamin C), thiamine mononitrate (source of vitamin B1), calcium pantothenate, vitamin A supplement, pyridoxine hydrochloride (source of vitamin B6), riboflavin supplement (source of vitamin B2), folic acid, vitamin B12 supplement, biotin, vitamin D2 supplement}, minerals {zinc sulfate, ferric sulfate, copper sulfate, manganese sulfate, selenium yeast, potassium iodide}.

Buddy:  Never mind, we're checking it out for ourselves.  What do you think, Merci?

Merci:  I think this is our shot and Marcus is photobombing us again.  Can't Jan move his private dining car out of the way?  But the buffalo is good. 

Marcus:  My bowl is empty.  Where did the food go?

Buddy:  Should I really answer that?

Marcus:  I hope Jan doesn't miss this can I swiped while she was trying to take a picture of the buffalo Wild Calling.  I sure could use some help opening it, though.  I wonder if Chewy.com would open any future cans before shipping them? 

Chewy provided the dog food for this review.  We were not paid and Chewy is not responsible for the content. 

This post and Four Paws and Three Claws are part of the monthly Chewy blog hop hosted by Golden Woofs and Oz the Terrier.  

A Gushing Stream

Cyndi:  Marcus, stop yelling and banging your food dish on the bars!

Marcus:  Guard, let me out of here!  This is supposed to be my private dining car.  That means you're supposed to serve me food.  What part of dining don't you understand?

Buddy:  It's going to be a while before you're sprung, Marcus.  Jan isn't here.

Marcus:  She isn't here?  Does anyone know where she keeps the key?

Cyndi:  Yes, she ate it.

Buddy:  She what?

Cyndi:  *whispers*  She didn't really, Buddy.  You know there isn't a key to Marcus's PDC.  In fact, it shouldn't be that hard to open the door from outside the crate.  We could probably spring him if we want to.

Buddy:  You didn't say that.  I didn't hear it.  And don't you ever dare think of it again!  The the only peace we ever get around here is when he's temporarily confined to his crate, or his PDC as he calls it.

Marcus:  What are you two whispering about?  Do you have a plan to spring me?

Buddy:  Sorry.  We were just saying how sad we feel to see you confined to your private dining car instead of running around the house terrorizing ... I mean, snoopervising all of us.

Cyndi:  I know what will take your mind off your circumstances.  Tell me what happened on your walk Saturday afternoon.

Marcus:  Nothing happened.  Oh, wait!  There was a raging stream running down the street.  We had to swim uphill through deep water to finish our walk.

Buddy:  We did not!  We weren't even on that side of the road.

Marcus:  Well, I'm bored, so if I want to remember it as a raging stream, it was a raging stream and we nearly drowned getting past it.

Buddy:  It was a gushing stream.  We could hear it and water was pouring in waves from under a big metal plate the contract company had used to cover a hole we'd watched them dig Friday.

Cyndi:  Oh, that's what Jan meant when she said she'd just seen our flood up the street.

Buddy:  Yes, she meant the flood through our back yard/dog pen when the new coupling blew on our water line.  (In Your Dreams)  She never wanted to see anything like it again.

Marcus:  She ignored us and talked to herself all the way home.

Buddy:  That was so she wouldn't forget to call it in when she got home to drop off Merci and me before your second walk.

Cyndi:  She left a message on the cell phone of the contract company's project coordinator and emailed the mayor so the city could follow up on it.

Gushing water and waves. Click to enlarge. :)

Marcus:  They made good time, arriving back up the hill before we did.  We watched them set up a hose to a generator and start pumping water out of the hole that was filling as fast as it was emptying.

Buddy:  Too bad it was fixed when we walked by there today.  I kind of enjoyed the excitement of watching the flood.

Marcus:  I didn't.  We could have drowned!

Cyndi:  Marcus, don't be melodramatic.  You didn't even get your toenail damp.

Marcus:  I like my version better.  As Merci said, some things are better with A Little Fairy Dust sprinkled on them.

Four Paws and Three Claws

Micah:  Oh, look, a box for us kitties.  I wonder what it could be?

Rusty:  You know very well it's a box of cat food for us to taste test.

Micah:  I know, but it doesn't hurt to have a little mystery in a post.

Taylor:  Hurry up and open it, Jan, so we can see what you chose for us this month.

Micah:  Oh, look, packets.

Percy:  They are 3 oz. packets of  Wellness Healthy Indulgence Morsels with chicken and turkey in savory sauce. I never heard of it.  I wonder how it tastes.

Cyndi:  I'm guessing it's pretty good if it's in it's own sauce.  What are the ingredients?

Percy:  Chicken broth, chicken, turkey, potato starch, eggs, carrots, chicken liver, natural flavor ... and even some cranberries and blueberries.  The full list of ingredients with the vitamins and minerals can be found by clicking on the link above.

Rusty:  It also includes white sweet potatoes.  The dogs sometimes get some orange sweet potatoes but I didn't know they come in white too.

Cyndi:  We've learned something new.  I hope Marcus isn't eavesdropping or he'll want to try the white sweet potatoes in our food.

Marcus:  Did I hear my name mentioned in connection with food?

Micah:  Yes, but it was not an invitation to share our breakfast.  You dogs get your own. 

Taylor:  This is what a packet looks like when opened.  Jan feeds us in stainless steel dishes and they don't photograph well, but she doesn't want us eating out of plastic and she tends to drop anything breakable  Or so I've heard.

Percy:  Chunks of slow-cooked chicken and turkey in sauce.  I seem to be the only one who ate all of the first meal, then decided to just lick the sauce and leave the chunks.  If Jan squishes them for me, I will eat most of them.

Rusty:  There are no grains, wheat, corn, soy, artificial preservatives, colors or flavors.

Cyndi:  So I guess that means we give Wellness Healthy Indulgence Morsels with chicken and turkey in savory sauce four paws and ...  I don't quite know how to count Percy's mashed morsels style of eating this. 

Micah:  How about four paws and three claws?

Rusty:  Yes, that works.


We were provided a box of packets for this review by Chewy.com.  We received no other compensation and we are solely responsible for the content.  

Steam Engine with a Cold

MICAH:  Shhh, don't make any noise.  You'll wake the dogs. 

PERCY:  We kid around a lot in our post.  We hope we haven't given you the idea we don't like each other. 

MICAH:  Yes, we have our moments.

PERCY:  And here is one of them.  Marcus and Merci sleeping butt to butt in Sam's bed. 

MICAH:  Oops, Jan disturbed Merci when she got the camera, but they were both fast asleep before that.

MARCUS:   Zzzzz, snort, snick.

MERCI:  What?  Who snorts and snicks in their sleep?

PERCY:  Obviously Marcus does.

MERCI:  I was here first.  He should go snort and snick somewhere else.

MICAH:  He's sound asleep.  I don't think you're going to wake him easily.  Perhaps you could move?

MERCI:  No way!  I was here first and I'm very comfortable.  I'm not leaving.

MARCUS:  Zzzzz, snick, sneep. 

MERCI:  MARRRRRCUSSSSSS!

MARCUS:  Huh, wah, is there a fire?

PERCY:  Merci was just trying to wake you so she can get some rest without you making so much noise in your sleep.

MARCUS:  Noise, what noise?  I don't make any noise in my sleep.

MERCI:  You sound like a steam engine with a cold.

MARCUS:   I do no such thing.  On the other paw, you squirm and sniff in your sleep.

MICAH:  Guys, hey, guys, we're trying to tell everyone how well we get along.  Can you cool it?

MARCUS:  Yes.  I'll cool it right here.  Merci, you can cool it somewhere else.

MERCI:  If you're not moving, neither am I. 

PERCY:  We do, we really do get along some of the time. 

MICAH:  I guess we should be thankful for that this week.  Getting along some of the time beats none of the time. 

PERCY:  Do you mind moving over, Micah?  You're in my space. 

MICAH:  It's not your space.  I was here first.  


Join Pepi Smart Dog and friends for the Thankful Thursday blog hop.

And Ruckus the Eskie for Thoughtless Thursday with co-hosts Love is being owned by a husky and Barking from the Bayou.   

Happy St. Patrick's Day 2016

TAYLOR:  Hey, whose idea was it to bring me one of Sam's old hats to wear?  His head was bigger than I am!

BUDDY:  Don't worry.  It was just a joke.  We asked Jan to include you in our post today since we're using a graphic from 2014. 

TAYLOR:  Sam was sure a character.

BUDDY:  Yes, he was usually wearing the wrong hat for the occasion but we had a lot of fun teasing him about it.

TAYLOR:  Cameron the Tuxie left for the bridge a few months before I arrived, but I've heard he and Sam were well-loved by all of you. 

BUDDY:  You weren't here long enough to get to know Sam's sense of humor.  He was always making us laugh with his silly faces.  Marcus is trying to fill his shoes ... er, paws now but he's a different personality type.

TAYLOR:  Marcus is a different everything. I think his brain is filled with confetti so his personality changes as the different colored confetti shifts position.

BUDDY:  I never thought of it like that, but you might be right.  Let's hope his green confetti has shifted to the front of his brain for the day.

MARCUS:  Hey guys, are you ready for the wearing o' the green today?  I am.

TAYLOR:  Look at him strut out of the room.  I do believe one of these days his brain is going to explode confetti all over the place.

BUDDY:  I hope he doesn't do it in the kitchen while I'm eating.

FUNNY FARMERS:  Happy St. Patrick's Day to all.


Join Pepi Smart Dog and friends for the Thankful Thursday blog hop.

And Ruckus the Eskie for Thoughtless Thursday with co-hosts Love is being owned by a husky and Barking from the Bayou.  

Hard Hat at the Cleaners

PERCY:  The weather is warming and I'm getting antsy.  I think next time you dogs take Jan for a walk, I want to go along.

MERCI:  You know you'll have to wear a harness and leash to help keep Jan from wandering off, don't you?

PERCY:  Well, if I have to, but I think she should be old enough to find her own way home by now.  It must be so nice to see different scenery.  Pretty scenery.  Not the same drab view day after day.

MERCI: I don't know about pretty scenery.  This is a recent example of what we see daily on our walking route.

PERCI:  You're joking.  It looks like a ... a ...

MERCI:  A junk pile?  See the crane on the right?  There used to be a building there.  Actually, there used to be buildings all over the Martha Mill property but they are being demolished.

PERCY:  I think I'll pass on walking with you.  My hard hat is at the dry cleaners.

MERCI:  I've never seen you with a hard hat.

PERCY:   (*mumbles* And you won't see me in one now, if I can help it.)  How can you dogs walk Jan by that mess?  What if a building falls on you?  You'd be squashed.

MERCI:  That's why Buddy and I hang back and let Jan lead the way.  Jan is taller than we are. If anything falls on her, she might come through a little shorter but she'll survive.  You know how hard-headed she is.

PERCY:  It sounds like you have a good plan, but I have always heard you should never go near a constructions site  -

MERCI:  In this case, a demolition site.

PERCY:  Okay, you should never go near a demolition site without a hard hat. I think I'll wait for mine to come back from the dry cleaners.