Sunday, September 21, 2008

Funny Farmers Write

What a mouthwatering sight! A slice of fudge brownie cheesecake from the website of (Excuse us for borrowing this, TFT, but we want to be fair and show your side of the evidence too.) Doesn't it look thick and creamy? You can click on it to enlarge it.

Cotton: Buddy, stop drooling! Jan won't let us have any chocolate! She says it could kill us.

Buddy: Well, Jan was drooling - okay, practically drooling - when her friend sent a whole one of those cheesecakes over as a surprise. Jan just loooooves cheesecake. And she was raised on Philly cheesecake, the best ever.

Jan cut a slice of what appeared to be a cheesecake drizzled with chocolate, looked confused there was more chocolate than cheese, bit into it, and made an awful face. The chocolate was rich and oily and the cheese part tasted more like a heavy cream cheese icing than cheesecake. She couldn't finish that piece. Or another a day or two later.

She checked the web address on the bottom of the package - yes, on the bottom of the large round plastic package where you couldn't tell it wasn't a chocolate drizzled cheesecake unless you either held it way above your head or turned the package over.

She didn't want to upset her friend. What to do? We suggested she take pictures to prove what she had didn't look anything like what they have pictured and then write the company. For once, she listened and took our advice. This is what came in her package. Doesn't look much like theirs, does it?

Jan emailed on September 11th and explained the situation to them, even that she had taken pictures to prove the item doesn't match the photo on their site. They haven't responded. So we decided to write a message to the company that would get their attention. We were going to begin with, Dear Imitation Cheesecake Company, but we have decided to emulate our friend Skeezix who, instead of being rude, defended his friend Jeter in a polite letter to entre card.

So, this is the letter we are sending TFH.

Dear TheFathersTable:

We are writing on behalf of our food lady and internet provider Jan, who sent an email to your company a week and a half ago and has not received a response. Perhaps, after reading her message, you cried onto your keyboard and shorted it out?

You see, her friend gave her one of your "cheesecakes" and she can't bring herself to tell her friend what a ... a ... a disappointment (whew! we had a time coming up with an appropriate word here) it was because the cheesecake was purchased over 25 miles away and then sent by special messenger (another friend) the rest of the way here.

As she explained and as you can see from the above photos, the item was not really a cheesecake of your advertised standards. Cheesecake is not cheap! We believe you owe her friend a replacement cheesecake. And don't forget one for Jan for quality testing and flunking your product for you -- but definitely one without chocolate! Did we mention we Funny Farmers aren't allowed to have chocolate?

We hope you have replaced your keyboard and are now able to answer emails, as we will be anxiously awaiting your reply, along with a non-chocolate cheesecake. Did we mention Funny Farmers aren't allowed to have chocolate? We already did? Okay. Just so that's clear.

Your cheesecake loving friends,
The Funny Farmers
Crystal, Cotton, Merci, Cyndi, Percy, Cameron, Buddy, Rusty & Samaritan

*****We added the following to today's post because we feel it is encouraging and important, as Ben the Rottie will be holding a week-long fundraiser with fun, competition and prizes. Visit the Ao4 for the link to Ben's. *****
Please stop by and read the Army of 4's post on the Nowzad Dogs. It is heartwarming to learn there is actually a group rescuing dogs in Afghanistan.


  1. I hope you really sent that! What a rip off.

    I gave you an award. Come pick it up!

    love & wags,

  2. When Da Mom gits something like that an da company wont reply, she filez a complaint wid da bedder bizness bureau. That makez em take notise!

  3. Thanks fur the warning -

    Oh yes, my mom loves to khontakht businesses fur the same kind of 'reasons' - they usually do respond-


  4. We love cheeescake too so we know how disappointed Jan must have been when she bite into that less then satisfactory imitation.

    Hope the company makes it right.

  5. w00f's JFF, now how cood dat company not respond to u pups and kitties....let us no the answer.

    b safe,

  6. I wonder if they understand the power of the internet?
    They owe Jan AND her friend new chocolate cheesecakes - and maybe one without chocolate but with berries or something for you guys! Really.
    Play bows,

  7. Cheesecake!! Mmmmm Mum almost killed the keyboard drooling over it!!
    Hope you get a response!

    Thank you so much for promoting my fundraiser and mostly for bringing attention to the Nowzad cause, came by to leave thanks by the way of big rotti-slobbers and love,

    Ben xxxxx

  8. Thanks for the link, JFFers! Isn't Ben great to hold the fund-raiser!?!?
    Play bows,

  9. That cheesecake looks absolutely yummy. Too bad Jan got something different.

    Did anyone in JFF get what was left over, or was it that bad?

  10. do NOT mess wif the cheesecake!!!!how could it go so terribly wrong???

  11. oops, we meanted to say "don't mess wif the cheesecake or our lady will kick butt" cheesecake is her favorite food. ::whaps typist:: TYPE WHAT I SAY WOMAN!!!


  12. That was just plain cruel of them to label the package "cheesecake", yet put something else (in an effort to avoid using words from the bad word list, we'll call it "not cheesecake") in the package. I hope your letter works. You kitties and woofies do take such good care of Jan.

  13. We DO think you should tell your friend so she won't make the mistake of buying it again. She may also want to write her own letter! Mom said if she sent someone a surprise that was not what it was supposed to be, she'd sure want to know about it.

  14. Let us know if ya need any backup...the nerve..Love and kisses A+A

  15. Oh, yech! Cheesecake is supposed to be delicious! My mom tells me she had a cheesecake in D.C. last week and didn't bring me any!

  16. Dat looks reelly weerd... wheres da cheezcake?

    I agree wif Sweet Praline! Chocolate supposed ta be yummy!

    Katie One...
    cuz Katie Too cants hafs chocolate.

  17. Ize meens cheezcake supposed ta be yummy... Mawmee gots chocolate fur braines.

  18. Hiya Jan and all da furry buddees!
    We gots an awards fur you on our bloggie.

    yous mites uvs gots it bfore... if so den nise ta gets it again!

    Mawmee goh sleepy now!! you gotsta go to new Jobbee!

    Katie Too n Bootsie Woo

  19. My Mommy and Daddy love cheesecake. I know they would be disappointed in that. Where's the cheesecake? I hope they answer and do their best to make you a happy and satisfied consumer.


    ps: My Mommy made my tatoo by erasing the background she did not want using photoshop. And then she plays around with the graphic.


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