Cotton: Buddy, stop drooling! Jan won't let us have any chocolate! She says it could kill us.
Buddy: Well, Jan was drooling - okay, practically drooling - when her friend sent a whole one of those cheesecakes over as a surprise. Jan just loooooves cheesecake. And she was raised on Philly cheesecake, the best ever.
Jan cut a slice of what appeared to be a cheesecake drizzled with chocolate, looked confused there was more chocolate than cheese, bit into it, and made an awful face. The chocolate was rich and oily and the cheese part tasted more like a heavy cream cheese icing than cheesecake. She couldn't finish that piece. Or another a day or two later.
She checked the web address on the bottom of the package - yes, on the bottom of the large round plastic package where you couldn't tell it wasn't a chocolate drizzled cheesecake unless you either held it way above your head or turned the package over.
She didn't want to upset her friend. What to do? We suggested she take pictures to prove what she had didn't look anything like what they have pictured and then write the company. For once, she listened and took our advice. This is what came in her package. Doesn't look much like theirs, does it?
Jan emailed myfatherstable.com on September 11th and explained the situation to them, even that she had taken pictures to prove the item doesn't match the photo on their site. They haven't responded. So we decided to write a message to the company that would get their attention. We were going to begin with, Dear Imitation Cheesecake Company, but we have decided to emulate our friend Skeezix who, instead of being rude, defended his friend Jeter in a polite letter to entre card.
So, this is the letter we are sending TFH.
We are writing on behalf of our food lady and internet provider Jan, who sent an email to your company a week and a half ago and has not received a response. Perhaps, after reading her message, you cried onto your keyboard and shorted it out?
You see, her friend gave her one of your "cheesecakes" and she can't bring herself to tell her friend what a ... a ... a disappointment (whew! we had a time coming up with an appropriate word here) it was because the cheesecake was purchased over 25 miles away and then sent by special messenger (another friend) the rest of the way here.
As she explained and as you can see from the above photos, the item was not really a cheesecake of your advertised standards. Cheesecake is not cheap! We believe you owe her friend a replacement cheesecake. And don't forget one for Jan for quality testing and flunking your product for you -- but definitely one without chocolate! Did we mention we Funny Farmers aren't allowed to have chocolate?
We hope you have replaced your keyboard and are now able to answer emails, as we will be anxiously awaiting your reply, along with a non-chocolate cheesecake. Did we mention Funny Farmers aren't allowed to have chocolate? We already did? Okay. Just so that's clear.
Your cheesecake loving friends,
The Funny Farmers
Crystal, Cotton, Merci, Cyndi, Percy, Cameron, Buddy, Rusty & Samaritan
*****We added the following to today's post because we feel it is encouraging and important, as Ben the Rottie will be holding a week-long fundraiser with fun, competition and prizes. Visit the Ao4 for the link to Ben's. *****Please stop by and read the Army of 4's post on the Nowzad Dogs. It is heartwarming to learn there is actually a group rescuing dogs in Afghanistan.