Well, thanks to the Meezers (and a few non-Meezers meezering) we had what has to be the shortest retirement in history! Retired Sunday - back Monday. Thank you all for your input. Jan now knows not to mess with our journal!
And while Jan is outside whacking weeds, we have a short story for you. Our idea of a short story is all truth. No, wait, it's some truth, some fiction. Or is it all fiction? See, we were retired so long we've forgotten our own writing rules. Anyway, you can figure out which is which.
Cotton: Hey, Cyndi, look at this email from Jan's friend Mark. It must be about one of his friends.
Cyndi, reading aloud: Live your life in such a way that when your feet hit the floor in the morning, Satan shudders and says, "Oh, no! He's awake!"
Cameron, reading over her shoulder: I guess if that Satan guy was around here this morning, he'd be laughing, 'What a klutz! Jan's tripped and fallen!"
Cotton: Cameron, that only happened once. Well, if you only count when she first gets up in the morning, it was only once. And that was because she tripped over a drapery rod.
Cyndi: It's okay. That Satan guy doesn't live in our neighborhood and he couldn't get in quietly if he did. Not with Buddy, Merci and Sam on the premises. They could wake the dead with the racket they make when a leaf rustles.
Cameron: Don't worry. We don't have a peeping Satan in this area.
Cyndi: A peeping Satan? What's that?
Cameron: You know that old tomcat down the street? I think his name is Tom. Well, if he peeked in someone's window, he would be a peeping Tom. I would be a peeping Cameron. (Not that I'd ever do such a thing!) So Mark's friend would be a peeping Satan.
Cotton: Well, we don't have to worry about a peeping Tom or Satan watching Jan fall out of bed in the morning. We keep our windows covered.
Cameron: Oh, how quickly you forget! In case you've forgotten, a certain anonymous kitty - aka Crystal - pulled down the drapery rod around 2 a.m. Jan still hasn't replaced it, so the window is not covered. All this peeping guy would need to do is bring his own ladder and ..... Where are you going, Cotton?
Cotton: Come on, Cyndi. We need to replace that drape ASAP! Just in case Jan takes another trip tomorrow morning.
Cameron, shaking his head: Girls, I wasn't done talking! Just for that, I'm going to go ask Crystal to show me how to pop the rod. This could be a daily event. Pop rod, trip Jan, watch Cotton and Cyndi replace drape. I could sell tickets. Well, this boring day has just gotten more interesting.