Wednesday, May 11, 2016
Translating Goose to Dog
Minnie: What are you staring at so intently?
Mo: You see those two dogs over there? The one on the right is called Marcus and he thinks he speaks goose.
Minnie: So you're going to attack him?
Mo: No, I'm going to honk at him until his ears burn.
Marcus: Hey, Buddy, I'm so glad we ran into Minnie and Mo again. Jan won't let me wear my sign in public (Giggle of Goose Gaggle) but Mo is honking at me anyway. He says he really looks forward to seeing me on our walks.
Buddy: You can't honestly believe a goose looks forward to seeing you.
Marcus: Of course I do. Mo wouldn't lie.
Buddy: But what if you're translating geese ... er, goosespeak wrong?
Marcus: Here, I'll translate for you. Mo says, "Marcus is my best friend, except for you, Minnie. It's a shame he doesn't have wings. He could fly away with us."
Minnie: Mo, I think you need to calm down a bit and stop honking at that Marcus dog.
Mo: I've been speaking my opinion of him at full volume for ten minutes and that dog thinks I'm flattering him.
Minnie: Perhaps he needs his hearing checked.
Mo: Maybe he needs a dictionary!
Minnie: Oh, I know. He's having a problem with your accent. We're Canadian Geese. Marcus is a Georgia dog. They speak Southern Drawl here.