The Chicken Caper

Marcus:  I had nothing to do with this.  NOTHING!  I am totally innocent.

Taylor:  What didn't you do this time?

Marcus:  Jan set the package of chicken on the kitchen table and went to answer the phone.  When she came back, the package had holes in it, most noticeably a huge hole.

Taylor:  So why are you hollering your innocence?

Marcus:  Because I get blamed for everything around here and I didn't do this.

Taylor:  Of course you didn't.  We all know who did.

Marcus:  You mean Jan put those claw holes in there and ripped a hole in the package?

Taylor:  No.  Jan found the ripped package, then put it back down to go let you and Buddy outside.  When she came back, she found a piece of chicken missing.  You weren't even in the room at the time.

Marcus:  Then who did?

Taylor:  Micah.   You know he steals anything edible, hot or cold, cooked or raw.

Marcus:  So I'm not in trouble for this?

Taylor:  Of course not.

Marcus:  What a relief!   And I hope Jan doesn't think I stole the cookie off her plate while she was away from the computer.

Taylor:  Why would she think that?

Marcus:  Oh, I don't know.  Perhaps because -

Taylor:  Because you stole it!

Marcus:  Well, maybe.  But I didn't have anything to do with the chicken!

Marcus Oink Oink

Taylor: Hey, Marcus, did you know you have a new nickname?

Marcus:  What is it?  Stud Muffin?  Handsome?

Taylor:  No, I heard Jan call you Marcus Oink Oink this morning.

Marcus:  Are you sure you didn't misunderstand?

Taylor:  No, but I think it has something to do with all those disappearing bowls of cat food and your expanding waistline.

Marcus:  I haven't seen any disappearing bowls of cat food.  Have you?

Taylor:  Actually, yes, I have.  That's our food, not yours.  Jan thought she had blocked you from the top of the dryer where our bowl is kept.  That is, until she caught you red-pawed standing on the dryer pigging out today.

Marcus:  Oh, that?  That was just a mid-morning snack.

Taylor:  But Jan can't afford to keep you in cat food and it isn't good for you anyway.  You have gotten fat on it.  Now she has to figure out where to move our food that you can't reach it and she's not happy about that!

Marcus:  There isn't anywhere she could move it I can't reach.  I'm athletic, you know!

Taylor:  That's what she's afraid of.  You're like an energetic bunny on steroids.

Marcus:  Mmmm.  Mr. Energetic Bunny would probably sound a whole lot more appealing to the ladies than Marcus Oink Oink.

Taylor:  Well, if you really care what the ladies think, Marcus, you need to eat more veggies like a bunny and less cat food.

Marcus:  You mean go on a *whispers* d-i-e-t? You do know diet contains the word "die"?  I'm too young to die.

Taylor:   You won't if you diet.  But there is the possibility, if Jan catches you stealing our food again!



We are joining the Pet Parade hosted by Rascal and Rocco, Basil the Bionic Cat, Barking from the Bayou and Owned by a husky.

Pirate of Dry Seas

Micah:  I know you have read of my food forays before.  Despite what any furry might think, I am not a thief!  I am a pirate of the dry seas.

Cyndi:  Our readers can decide for themselves.  This is what happened on the Funny Farm Saturday.

Taylor:  Jan popped the top on the trash can and turned to grab the coffee grounds to throw away.  Micah took a big leap, grabbed a chicken leg bone from the trash and raced for the bedroom.

Cyndi:  A chicken leg has a long, thin, sharp bone. Jan was terrified he'd swallow that and she'd lose him to a perforated internal something or other.  She raced (boy, is that an exaggeration!) after him.

Marcus:  I heard the commotion and came running through the other bedroom door.  Micah sprinted past me.

Percy:  I was right behind Marcus.

Rusty:  I wanted to know what was going on, too.  Percy and I turned and ran after Marcus.

Taylor:  Marcus can be a bit aggressive at times with food so Jan switched from chasing Micah to running Marcus out the back door before he took the bone from Micah.

Marcus:  She lied!  "Come on, Marcus, let's go outside," she teased, and then she closed the door behind me.

Cyndi:  Jan reached the kitchen door just as Micah's head bobbed into the trash can for seconds.  That meant he had lost the leg bone, so who had it now?  She slammed the trash lid closed and took a quick look around the bedroom.  No bone.

Percy:  She entered the living room and it was quiet.  The only one of us in sight was Merci who was about to lie down on her bed.

Rusty:  Jan was walking by when she realized Merci's stance was a bit odd.  She was standing nose to her bed.

Taylor:  Why was Merci standing nose to bed?  Jan stopped.  Merci raised her head and - 

Merci:  I was napping on my bed when Micah and his entourage sped by.  A chicken leg flew over and hit me on the head.  Just as I was about to take a bite of my good fortune, Jan swooped it up and left me empty-pawed.

Buddy:  I was good.  I watched the circus from the comfort of Jan's bed. 

Marcus:  Did I hear someone say Jan has a chicken bone for me?

Sarcastic Sharing

RUSTY:  Jan is upset with you, Micah.

MICAH:  I can't imagine why.

RUSTY:  The usual.

MICAH:  You mean I stole something again?

RUSTY:  Yep!

MICAH:  But Jan should know better than to leave food lying around.  Even for a second.

MERCI:  You ate half her sausage Tuesday.  Before she had a chance to turn on the burner.

RUSTY:  You are a lightning thief.  Have to give you credit for that.

MERCI:  You stole that turkey neck while Jan answered the phone.  Too bad she caught you running away with it.

RUSTY:  And you stole it again when she popped out of the kitchen.

MICAH:  Ate half of it, too, before she remembered to cook it. 

MERCI:  What's left of it is cooling on the stove.  Along with some turkey innards.

RUSTY:  It was nice of you to leave half for the rest of us Funny Farmers to share.

MICAH:  I thought so too.  Have to share with my fur siblings.

MERCI:   Micah, he was being sarcastic

RUSTY:  I guess I know what one of us is thankful for this Thursday.

MICAH:  Yes, I'm very thankful for a *burp* full tummy.


Join Pepi Smart Dog and friends for the Thankful Thursday blog hop.

And Ruckus the Eskie for Thoughtless Thursday with co-hosts Love is being owned by a husky and Barking from the Bayou.   

No Ratting on Marcus

PERCY:  Do you remember this photo from 2014?  Marcus had jumped on the stool to get on the dryer so he could cross over to the cabinet where our cat food bowl sat.

RUSTY:  Our bowl now sits in a corner on the dryer, which would be behind Marcus in the photo above.

MICAH:  Jan has kept something on the stool ever since so Marcus can't reach our food again.

CYNDI:  However, she is rearranging and cleaning and forgot to put anything back on the stool.

RUSTY:  We have been begging for a lot of food lately.  And making quite the mess of things on the dryer..

MICAH:  This morning our empty bowl and everything supposed to be on the dryer were on the floor.

CYNDI:  It took a while to register with Jan.  (She's been a bit forgetful, remember.)

PERCY:  But when the bowl was clean to the last crumb and needed to be refilled for the fourth time in just a few hours Friday, the cloud finally lifted and she remembered Marcus the leaping bulldog.

MARCUS:  And now my access to the cat food is blocked with a cooler on the stool. Starvation is abuse!  I can already feel my ribs. How am I going to survive without snacks?

CYNDI:  Perhaps Marcus can identify with this messy French bulldog, although in all honesty, none of us ratted on Marcus.


If the video doesn't play, click here.

You Thought Wrong!

RUSTY:  We have had an interesting week. Jan says she wants a do-over.  Can she get one?

MICAH:  I don't think so, but it doesn't hurt to ask.

BUDDY:  First, on Saturday she set the clocks ahead instead of back and had to reset them.  (Daylight Savings Baby Goats)

MERCI:  Then the phone went wonky with crossed wires and strange things happened - really strange!  (Dona Nobis Pacem)

PERCY:  And, of course, Marcus escaped serious injury when he tried to eat an empty cat food can when Jan popped outside for a "minute". (Gastrointestinal Fortitude of a Goat)

CYNDI:  And it's been raining off and on for days, so we've all been cooped up with supersonic Marcus.  (Still Raring To Go)

MARCUS:  You're making fun of me again, aren't you?  Well, I'm not the only one who has been in trouble this week!

SAM:  You're right, Marcus.  One evening Jan started to prepare dinner and decided to make a quick phone call.  When she returned to the kitchen she found this.

CYNDI:  Yes, someone opened the package of ground chuck and helped himself.  Left crumbs around the stove.

RUSTY:  He didn't even try to hide.  Just nonchalantly laid on the top of the stove to digest his "dinner".

MICAH:  Well, it was laying there in plain sight.  I thought it was intended for me. 

BUDDY:  But as Jan said in a highly audible tone, you thought wrong!

PERCY:  We have only had one interview subject in several weeks, so it appears there has been a loss of interest in the Mousebreath interviews.  But we sure enjoyed being interviewed for Bionic Basil's blog recently.


Join the Pet Parade blog hop hosted by Rascal and Roscoe.  It is co-hosted by Bionic Basil, Barking From the Bayou and Love is being owned by a husky.

Iron Paw Jenny

CAMERON: It's weekend art time again.  Our subject today is Jenny, one of the original Funny Farmers.

RUSTY:  Jenny was before my time.  Sam, Micah and Marcus did not meet her either, but we've all heard stories about how she ruled the roost with an iron paw!

MARCUS: This is Jenny in sepia for the Sepia Saturday blog hop hosted by Ruckus the Eskie and Earl & Ethel.  You know this is my favorite because it reminds me of the color Dirt.

SAM:  Even in black and white, you can tell Jenny had a soft, beautiful coat.  She loved to be brushed. 

MICAH:  Jan used the HDR-ish filter for this picture so we can join the Caturday Art blog hop hosted by Athena. 

PERCY:  For this one, she added Filtered Black and White to the HDR-ish picture above.

MERCI:  She couldn't resist adding a DUO Tone filter.  Jenny was a lovely cat and she looks good in any color.

CYNDI:  We can't forget a copy of the original photo for comparison.  I wonder what Jenny was thinking.

BUDDY:  Last night Murphy and Stanley made us aware a site has been publishing posts complete with photos stolen from a number of dog bloggers.  (We aren't included.)  They are one of those blogs with stolen posts. Murphy and Stanley and others are working on having the site shut down.  We have an idea they are angry!  And we don't blame them a bit.

MICAH:  What would be funny, if it weren't for the circumstances, is that Murphy and Stanley began to post a notice to the effect, if this post appears anywhere except ..... it is stolen in bright red text.  Those posts are boldly copied to the other site too.  And dzdogs posted an Important Annoucement with information on what those with a stolen blog should do, which was promptly stolen.  We think it's fitting the thieves should help take themselves down.  (Hard to argue they weren't stealing material when what they're posting clearly states it is stolen.)

SAM:  You would think whoever is doing this, possibly copying and pasting from an RSS feed, would notice what they are publishing. 

CAMERON:  Romping and Rolling in the Rockies is another of the blogs.  We understand they had a lot of photos - and they post beautiful photos - stolen and now have them "locked down", which sounds like a good idea. Now their posts have been stolen.  They have made their "do not steal" information highly visible. 

CYNDI:  It has been suggested that anyone who has their RSS feed set to FULL change it to SHORT so an entire post can not be stolen without a little invested effort.  Having a watermark did not stop the thieves but at least ownership can not be disputed.

PERCY:  We understand Wordpress has a plugin (?) that adds copyright information to the feeds, so those of you using WP might want to look into that.  Blogger needs something similar.  

Calling Perry Mason

SAM:  Uh-oh, some kitty is in trouble.

MARCUS:  Some kitty?  You mean it's not me in trouble this time?

RUSTY:  No, Marcus, not this time!

BUDDY:  The other day Jan went to the store and bought some hamburger.  When she got home the phone rang, so she set the bag down on the washing machine.

CAMERON:  By the time she got off the phone, she had forgotten about it.

MERCI:  When she remembered and went back to put it in the fridge, this is what she found.

PERCY:  She thinks I did it.  Why would she think it was me?

CYNDI:  Probably because there was a small hole in the plastic bag and a big hole in the package - without a trace of the missing plastic.

MICAH:  And we all know you like to eat plastic, Percy, so you are the most logical suspect.

PERCY:  Yes, but you hang out a lot in the kitchen and you like meat, Micah.  Why aren't you on the suspected criminal list?

MICAH:  Because you're the perfect suspect, Percy, and I'm not known for a plastic appetite.

PERCY:  Well, just because you haven't been known for eating plastic, doesn't mean you wouldn't.

SAM:  Have either of you considered the other could be innocent?

MICAH and PERCY:  NO!

RUSTY:  I would definitely point a paw at Marcus, except he would have swiped the bag, eaten the packaging, and left no evidence.  Not a trace, except possibly the grocery bag.

MARCUS:  *wipes brow with paw* What a relief!  I've been proven innocent.  Percy and Micah, do you need an attorney?  Would you like for me to call one for you? 

PERCY and MICAH:  Yes, get me Perry Mason!

There is no Mousebreath interview this week.

The Pet Parade is hosted by Rascal and Roscoe.  It is co-hosted by Bionic Basil, Barking From the Bayou, Love is being owned by a husky, and us (Jan's Funny Farm).

Who is this week's Featured Favorite?  Check it out at Rascal & Rocco's. 

There are two parts to the blog hop - your blog url and social media, so be sure to sign up for both. 

Crumbs

Buddy:  Uh-oh, you kitties better watch out.  Jan's on the warpath!

Percy:  Why?  We didn't do anything wrong.

Merci:  Jan says you ate her toast before she had a chance to toast it.

Cameron:  I don't know why we're getting blamed.  You dogs are the food thieves. 

Sam:  You can't blame this on us.  None of us can reach the toaster. 

Rusty:  Marcus can jump high.  It must have been Marcus.

Marcus:  No, it wasn't me and you know I can't leap onto the counter.  I would need a rocket launcher to get anywhere neat the toaster.  'Fess up. 

Cyndi:  Well, it sure wasn't me.  I would never steal Jan's food.  Well, maybe if it was really tempting.  But bread?

Micah:  Why are you all looking at me?  I didn't steal it.  But if I had - and I'm not saying I did - it would be Jan's fault for leaving the room with the bread in the toaster before she'd fed us our breakfast.

Buddy:  As your attorney, might I suggest the next time you deny stealing bread, you wipe the bread crumbs from your chin first?