Tuesday, December 23, 2014
RUSTY: I'm just thinking about how fortunate we are that Jan is forgetful but at least she hasn't lost all her marbles.
SAM: I'm not sure what you mean.
RUSTY: Well, Jan forgets to read the calendar and she sometimes forgets to feed us on time, but she's not a stupid criminal.
SAM: Are you suggesting she's an intelligent criminal?
RUSTY: No, I'm not suggesting she's any kind of a criminal. I'm just saying I'm glad she has some common sense even if she can't remember where she left it.
SAM: I don't think I'm following this. What do you mean?
RUSTY: I was just reading about the guy who handed a note demanding money to a bank teller.
SAM: Let me guess. The teller couldn't read?
RUSTY: No, the teller could read. It's just the guy wrote the note on the back of a deposit slip from his wife's bank account.
SAM: And you think Jan might write a robbery note on the back of her own deposit slip?
RUSTY: Don't be silly. Jan would make a lousy criminal. She can't run and she doesn't have a getaway car.
SAM: Whatever you do, don't mention that to Buddy. He'd want to be the getaway driver and we all know what a menace he is behind the wheel.
BUDDY: Did I hear you guys say you need a getaway driver? What's the caper? I have a driver's license, you know.
RUSTY: A screw driver, Buddy. We're helping to fix the squeaky wheel in the ... uh, whatchamacallit.
SAM: Yes, catch you later. Jan needs a screwdriver right away in the ...
RUSTY: ... kitchen.
SAM: ...dog pen.