Tuesday, June 16, 2015
Yente Ruby's Margaritas
Ruby and all those who have tried to view this post today, please accept our humble apologies. We scheduled this for 12:30 AM but somehow it ended up as PM and we didn't get online until noon today to find you've all been looking for it and it wasn't here. **sniff, sniff, Buddy wipes Merci's tears with a big paw** We are so embarrassed.
MARCUS: This is exciting. We have another Blogville worker to interview.
MERCI: Yes, we are enjoying these interviews, but there is some rather sad news we need to mention.. About a week and a half or so ago, we contacted Sasha, the official Chef of Blogville, for an interview and we were looking forward to meeting her soon.
SAM: We won't get to meet her, though. Sadly, she had to leave for the bridge Sunday and left her mom and all her friends very sad.
BUDDY: Sasha was small in size but a large presence among the Blogville Administration and residents, so we will observe a minute of silence in her honor.
MARCUS: Sniff, sniff. *wipes eyes with paw* And now for this week's interview subject.
SAM: The riotous Ruby the Airedale.
MERCI: Straight from her latest performance at ... um, where was her latest performance?
BUDDY: I have no idea, but she's here now, so ... Oh, wait, her last performance was on her Ruby the Airedale blog.
Funny Farmer Canines: Please introduce yourself and your family.
Ruby: Hey Blogville!!! What up??! My name is Ruby, and I am an Airedale Terror...um, I MEAN TERRIER. I lives with my Ma (who doesn't give me enough cookies, in my opinion! Just sayin'...) My Gpa comes over to watch me when she is busy with non-Ruby stuffs. I likes him cause he gives me LOTS of treaties that Ma never knows about....shhhhhhh ?
Funny Farmer Canines: How did you come to live together?
Ruby: Wells, I came all the way from the great state of Wisconsin!!! That is where my furry Mother and Father lives. Ma flew me out to sunny California to lives with her, cause she couldn't resist my FABulous picture! Though, I do miss the snow! It doesn't snow here!!!! bummer.
Funny Farmer Canines: Tell us a little about the area where you live.
Ruby: I lives in the most MAGICAL LAND of the Silicon Valley! Noes, it's not full of women with ENHANCED chests ~ it's where all the computer magic happens!!! We gots Google, Facebook, Apple right heres (just to name a few!). Butts, Ma doesn't have that kind of dough! Nopes (sorry Murphy, we won't be buying that yacht anytime soon ?), butts I loves living here ~ the weather is FABulous (wells, unless we're in a drought, like now!), and the peeps are pretty cool, and the doggies are most amazin'!
Funny Farmer Canines: What kind of mischief do you prefer?
Ruby: Wells, I likes all kinds of mischief....the more the betters, ya know?! Butts, I LOVES nibbling on Ma's plants. So much so, that she had to put them in 'Jail", behind doggie fences, so I wouldn't eat them all! hehehehe, She says that it's better than putting ME behind the doggie fences!
Funny Farmer Canines: How long have you been blogging and what made you begin?
Ruby: I've been bloggin' abouts three years. Which is amazin', since it's impossible to keep my ASSistant in line! She is forever not doin' her duties, and posting my most FABulous adventures! I thinks I need a new one....anyone wants the job??? ?
Funny Farmer Canines: You are in charge of Yente services under Hiz Honorz Murphy and Stanley. We're not sure what that means so we need to ask what are your duties?
Ruby: My duties as Yente, Matchmaker ExtraordinAire, is to find Dates for anyone in Blogville that wants one! Nows, I'm not sayin' that everyone finds THE ONE, likes Me and Murphy ? (my Stud Muffin ??), butts I will try and find you a Date that you can have a most FABulous time with!
Funny Farmer Canines: You were the Squirrel Patrol Officer in the Blogville Pawlice Department under Mayor's Madi administration and also under Murphy and Stanley's. Does this entail training squirrels to be model citizens of Blogville?
Ruby: I wish I could say yes, butts those *asterick*' tree rats are completely UNTRAINABLE!!! I've even had some throw NUTS at ME!!! (no...not THOSE nuts Puddles.....) So I've resorted to keepin' them outta Blogville! It's a tough job, and sometimes it takes lots of margaritas. Every once in a while, one gets through, and all hell breaks loose! That's where my BACKUP comes in....the most TRUSTWORTHY Blogville Pawlice Department! We, together, can take down any critter that tries to cause chaos!
Funny Farmer Canines: We understand you attend all Blogville Festivities with your own Margarita Truck. Are you hired by the Administration or is this something you just enjoy doing on your own?
Ruby: Oh, my Margarita Truck is totally INDEPENDENT!! I wouldn't want Blogville to be legally responsible for what goes on at the Margarita Truck. What happens at the Margarita Truck....STAYS at the Margarita Truck....
Funny Farmer Canines: We understand your mom has you on a diet to lose five pounds. You are the Gurlfuriend of Mayor Murphy. We would guess that Hiz Honor doesn't agree with your mom on this subject?
Ruby: NO. No he wouldn't!!!! Not only does he thinks that my vettie's scale is BROKEN, butts he thinks I am just FABulous just the way I am. That's why I loves him! And....why he sends me secret stashes of cookies....shhhhhh
Funny Farmer Canines: If your mom were to describe what makes you special, what do you think she would say?
Ruby: Wells, as any Airedale owner knows, we are A LOT!!!! What? Oh. Wells, I guess that's just ME. Okays. Whatevers. Well, I thinks she would say that her life would be BORING!!! without MOI. B.O.R.I.N.G. Who would wake her up at 3am to go outside and enjoy the fresh aire??? Who would make those purty pictures on her windows??? Who would pharts and make her run out of the room, so she could get some exercise??? Who is goin' to slobber all overs her hair???? (I mean, that is the cheapest hair product you can gets!!! ?) Who is goin' to rub their hinnie all overs her pillow when she's not home???? Like I said...BORING! And, she knows I loves her to pieces, and do zoomies every time she comes home! And she loves my stinky, furry arse!!
Thank you Miss Jan for interviewing me for your Bloggie! I am most humbled, and will send you a pitcher of Margaritas as my Thanks!
BUDDY: Wait, stop the presses, stop the presses, STOOOOOOPPPPP THE PRESSES!!!!!
MARCUS: What's the matter? I thought the interview went very well.
SAM: The interview did go well. It's the postscript that's the problem.
MERCI: Yes, WE did all the work, but JAN is getting all the credit.
BUDDY: AND a pitcher of margaritas! You don't see the problem?
MARCUS: Not really. Jan drinks a pitcher of margaritas, takes a long nap, and we have the computer all to ourselves for a few hours. Or days, depending on how big the pitcher is.
BUDDY: Good thinking, Marcus. Okay, roll the presses again.
SAM: Be sure to visit Ruby and her margarita truck at the Ruby the Airedale blog.