Friday, January 21, 2005
THE TOMCAT CLUB, Part 1
Percy, Secretary of the Tomcat Club, wearing writing hat
THE TOMCAT CLUB
Copyright 2005 Janice Price
“What are we doing in the bathtub at four in the morning?” Crystal asks, sleepily. “What is so important we have to have a clandestine meeting in the bathroom in the middle of the night? When you guys reach the age of six, you’ll need more rest too.”
“We’re here,” Percy says, “because Jan needs our help. She is supposed to write a story for her writer’s group using a word list. We all know she can’t write fiction and we don’t want someone from the Funny Farm wimping out on the meeting just because she can’t write. We can write the story for her.”
Cameron rubs sleep from his eyes. “Good idea. How hard can it be to write a fiction story?”
“I’m not sure about this. You two are still kittens. You don’t have enough experience in life to write a story about anything.”
“Oh, Crystal,” Percy chides, “wake up and smell the litter pan. We don’t need to be experienced writers to write. Buddy and Merci are writing their own columns now and they don’t have any experience either. And Buddy, well, he’s even younger than Cameron.”
Cameron takes offense. “Don’t patronize me, Percy. You can’t be more than three or four weeks older than I am.” He looks around the bathtub. “And where are the other cats? They should be here.”
“They need their beauty sleep, Cameron. Besides, girls can’t write. If they could, Jan could write her own story and we could be curled up on her warm bed right now.”
“Okay,” Cameron concedes. “ We can do this by ourselves, but if we are going to have a club, we need to name it and elect officers, don’t we?”
“Cameron’s right. What about the Tomcat Club?” asks Crystal.
“Good idea, Crystal,” says Cameron. “I second the motion.”
“Slow down guys. I can’t take notes when you talk so fast,” Percy complains. “But the Tomcat Club it is. Now, about officers. I nominate Percy for Secretary, second it and Percy it is.”
“You can’t nominate and second yourself,” Crystal says, glaring at Percy. “We have to vote on each nomination.”
“Would you guys vote for me?”
“No,” Crystal and Cameron answer in unison.
“Then I nominate and vote for myself. Besides, I’m taking the notes, so I’m the Secretary by default anyway.”
Crystal and Cameron exchange glances. “Then I nominate, second and vote for myself for President,” Crystal declares, stretching to his full height to demonstrate he is the largest as well as the oldest one present.
“And I’m the elected Treasurer,” Cameron says in a no-nonsense voice.
“Treasurer?” Percy and Crystal say, as one. “We don’t have any money to treasure.”
“Then we’ll just have to collect dues. I have to have a title too. I’m Treasurer!”
“And I’m the Vice-President,” comes a familiar feminine voice.
The guys peer around the shower curtain. “Cyndi, what are you doing here? This meeting is for Tomcat Club members only,” President Crystal says.
“I’ve been eavesdropping. You guys desperately need some help. Instead of writing a story to help Jan, you’re arguing over who gets what position in a stupid male club. Move over and make room for me in there. I’m joining the club, but we’re going to rename it.”
“I suggest we adjourn for the night,” Percy says. We can continue this tomorrow night, same time and same place. We guys need some time to get over the shock of a girl invading our Tomcat Club.”
Crystal says, “I second the motion.”
“Well, if we’re done for the night, you all need to pay your dues,” Cameron adds.
“That does it!” Percy exclaims. “The Tomcat Club is officially disbanded. We meet here tomorrow night and write that fiction story for Jan. We can decide on a new name for our club then.”
Secretary of the former Tomcat Club