Monday, January 24, 2005

THE FORMER TOMCAT CLUB, Part 2 of The Tomcat Club

Crystal, President of the former Tomcat Club/Funny Feline Club.

Part 2 of The Tomcat Club
Copyright 2005 Janice Price

“What’s she doing here?” Percy demands, pointing a paw at the newcomer.

“I invited her,” Cyndi says. “Cotton is more mature than I am. She’s only a year younger than Crystal. She can be a big help with writing this story for Jan.”

“Oh? Well, why didn’t you invite Jenny and the dogs? In fact, why not post a welcome-to-the-meeting sign on the front door and invite all the passing riffraff to join us?”

Cyndi ignores Percy’s sarcasm and says, “Jenny is old and blind. She needs her rest. She could find her way into the bathroom, but she wouldn’t be able to climb into the bathtub.”

Cameron asks, “Speaking of the bathtub, can’t we meet somewhere else at this hour of the morning? It’s too cold to sit here.”

“This bathtub sits at the farthest end of the house from where Jan and the dogs are sleeping,” Percy says. “If we’re quiet, they should all sleep through this meeting. This club is a secret.”

“Yes, the club.” Percy reminds them of the reason they have convened the meeting at four in the morning. “I call this meeting to order. Have you all been thinking of a new name for our club, since we can’t call it the Tomcat Club any more?”

Crystal cleared his throat. “Ahem. Percy, have you forgotten that I am President of this club? I am the one who calls the meeting to order. You take notes.”

“But you elected yourself President,” Percy complains.

Crystal reminds Percy, “And you elected yourself Secretary and Cyndi elected herself Vice-President.”

“And I elected myself Treasurer,” Cameron chimes in.

“Cameron, we don’t have a treasury. How can you be Treasurer?”

“Well, we could ask Jan to give us each an allowance and then we could all pay dues and we would have a treasure for me to manage.”

“No comment,” Percy says, moving one paw in a circular motion near his ear.

Cotton changes the subject. “This meeting is being run by a bunch of nuts. I make a motion we call this the Funny Feline Club.”

“The Funny Feline Club?” Crystal rolls the words around on his tongue. “I like the sound of that. We could write comedy. Does anyone want to second the motion?”

“I do,” Cyndi says. All heads nod in agreement.

Crystal stomps one paw, in lieu of a gavel. “Motion carried. We are now officially the Funny Feline Club.”

“Good choice!”

All heads swivel, as Buddy’s large, brown head looms over the edge of the bathtub.

“Yeah, I like it too.” Merci’s petite face peers around the other corner of the shower curtain. “Can we join?”

“I don’t believe this!” Crystal exclaims. “Is there no such thing as privacy in this house? What are you dogs doing sneaking into our meeting room?”

“We wanted to know where you cat critters are hiding. We thought maybe you have a private stash of food.”

“Buddy, all you ever think about is food. No, you can’t join the club. Only cats are allowed,” Crystal says, with authority.

“Merci, let’s go wake up Jan,” Buddy says.

“Okay, okay. You can join the club, but now we have to change the name again.” Crystal sighs. “The next meeting will be tomorrow night, same time and place. Bring your suggestions for the club name.”

“Keep in mind we need some story ideas,” Percy adds. “The deadline will be here before we even get to writing the story if we have to keep changing the club name.”

“Whatever you do, do not bring any more friends, enemies, strangers or other species to the next meeting – especially not Jan!” Crystal stomps his right paw to signal the meeting is adjourned.

“And everybody remember to bring your dues,” Cameron reminds them.

Secretary of the Funny Feline Club


  1. You cats (oops) and dogs crack me up! Buddy, you and Merci need to start your own club, you could call yourselves "The Tailwaggers". Keep me laughing! -Carolyn

  2. Carolyn,

    Thank you for the suggestion, but if Buddy and Merci formed their own club, they wouldn't have enough members. Buddy could be Secretary and Merci President, but who would be Treasurer?

    Former Tomcat Club Treasurer


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