The Big Zoom Groom

Percy:  Run, Marcus, Run!  It's the sucker monster.

Marcus:  Oh, you cats are such wimps.  I have graduated from the little machine to the big one with the hose.  This one has more power and it gives a better massage.

Percy:  **hollers from top of the door**  It will swallow you, Marcus.  Good-bye.  It was nice knowing you!

 

Marcus:  I miss Rusty.  He was the only cat here who enjoyed a good zoom groom massage.  After I had my first vacuum massage, he said I was brave.  Of course I'm brave.  I'm Marcus the Sucker Monster Protector.  (Morning Zoom Groom)

Jan:  You're also a sucker for attention.

Marcus:  That too.

We are joining Feline Friday at Comedy Plus.  (Oops.  We just now noticed that last Friday we joined the Happy Tuesday blog hop instead of Feline Friday. Micah Heats His Villa)   Did anyone notice?)

We are joining Flashback Friday.  (They don't usually post till later in the day.)  To see other blog entries and/or to enter your own blog, visit the Five Sibes. 

Morning Zoom Groom

Micah:  Hey, Marcus, what's with your new morning routine?

 Marcus:  What new routine?

Micah:  Isn't that what I think it is - you being touched by a vacuum cleaner? You've always attacked the vacuum cleaner.

Marcus:  Oh, I changed my mind, but only for the morning zoom groom.  The rest of the time, it's macho Marcus against the vicious vac.

Micah:  The first time I saw you plant yourself beside the bed and allowed Jan to run that machine over you, I thought I was hallucinating.

Marcus:  Every morning Jan vacuums my personal sheet on the bed and one morning I didn't move away in time and accidentally discovered Rusty was telling the truth when he said it's like getting a massage.  So every morning now I plant myself beside the bed and holler, "Vac me, baby!"

Micah:  You fibber.  You don't holler any such thing.  If you hollered, we'd all hear you.  In fact, you're so loud, if you whispered, we'd hear you!  And Jan would bop you beside your head if you talked to her like that.

Marcus:  I can holler at Jan anything I want to and she'll tell me what a good boy I am and do what I want.

Micah:  Stop telling stories.  You know -  Oh, wait, I get it.  You can holler anything you want- and live - as long as you don't say it out loud so Jan can hear it.

Marcus:  Exactly.  Now if you will excuse me, it's time for my morning zoom groom - otherwise known as my daily vac massage.

Two Faces of Marcus

Cyndi:  This is Marcus.  We all thought he was a bit on the unfocused side.  But evidently he is not as mentally disturbed ... er, challenged as we Funny Farmers thought he is.

 Micah:  This is Marcus being Marcus - noisy, hyper, unable to stay still. Jan was trying to hang onto the vacuum with one hand and the camera with the other. Marcus was so focused on attacking and shaking the vacuum as hard as possible, he is out of focus in these two photos.

Cyndi:  Actually, it's amazing he's even in the shots since the camera was bobbing and weaving.  But the moment he realized Jan was taking pictures, he did this.

Micah:  Yes, he grabbed his ball and posed!   Notice the vacuum in lower left corner.    No one would ever guess he'd just tried to murder it.

Cyndi:  Those are the two sides of Marcus.  Wild, fun loving and unpredictable.  Calm, assured model.  Which Marcus do you prefer?

Hear Me Screech

Marcus:  I am Marcus, hear me -

Rusty:  Screech.

Marcus:  - roar.  Hey, I do not screech!

Rusty:  You screech all the time.  If you don't learn to use an inside voice, we're all going to go deaf.

Marcus:  I risk my life protecting all of you from that noisy monster and you accuse me of screeching?

Rusty:  That's called a vacuum cleaner and we don't really need to be protected from it.

Marcus:  But I want to protect you all from it.  It sucks up the trash I shred.  What if it sucks up one of you?

Rusty:  There's no need to whip yourself into a frenzy.  On second thought, go ahead.  Tire yourself out screeching at the machine.

Marcus:  I showed that machine who's boss, but for some reason I feel a little dizzy.  I think I should go lie down for a while.

Rusty:  You deserve a medal for your courage.  I'll just sit here and enjoy some peace while you have a long rest. 

We are joining the Pet Parade hosted by Rascal and Rocco, Basil the Bionic Cat, Barking from the Bayou and Owned by a husky.

Just Another Crackpot

PERCY:  Some of you might remember our post A Perfect Failure from last July.

CYNDI:  It was the story of our new lightweight vacuum that made such a big mess it took longer to clean up after than it did to vacuum the entire house.

BUDDY:  It was returned!  Jan has been looking for another bagless vacuum ever since.  We couldn't care less.  We like dirt!

CYNDI:  She bought a new vacuum a month or so ago and returned it when she couldn't align the screws to attach the handle.

PERCY:  This is what she bought to replace it. It's a bit heavier than she would like and bulkier.  It doesn't fit under the bed or the desk or in a number of spaces she'd like to vacuum.

BUDDY:  The good news is that it has a flexible hose with a wand attachment, and our old vacuum wands fit this machine.  The hose on the other two machines were not flexible and had to be detached.  Now she just turns the dial and pops the hose from it's station.

PERCY:  See the large canister with the dirt?  She just has to lift the canister off,  open the bottom and dump the dirt into the trash can.  She doesn't have to change her clothes or clean the house.again every time she empties it.

BUDDY:  So guess what happened when she tried to take pictures?  Yep.  Marcus zoomed in for a closeup.  What a ham!

MARCUS:  I am not a ham.  I'm a model.  And if the right person sees my picture, I could become the vacuum company spokesdog. Just think, my picture on every box of vacuum parts.


CYNDI:  Marcus, you don't honestly believe that, do you?

MARCUS:  Why not?  Without a dream, I'm just another handsome face.

PERCY:  And with a dream, you're just another crackpot.

BUDDY:  When I was young I had a lot of dreams and I pursued them.  They never worked out well but I had a lot of fun testing them.  Percy, you were young then too.  Wasn't it fun to be involved in life?

PERCY:  Let's see.  We were almost arrested because you stole Jan's car.  You flooded the house when you tried your paw at plumbing.  We were almost fried when you took up TV repair.  You're right.  We had a lot of fun back then.

MARCUS:  You did all those things, Buddy?  Wow, you're my hero.  I want to be just like you. 

PERCY:  Stick to modeling.  It's a lot safer!

Marcus's Best Friend Returned

SAM:  Hey, Sam here.  I take a lot of teasing about my hats but if you remember, I have been known to sport a non-hat look.

MARCUS:  I'm not sure what kind of look he's aiming for, but I think he must have missed it by a mile.

CYNDI:  Aw, Marcus, that's not nice.  You tried on the sunglasses too. Remember?

MARCUS:  Oh, I forgot.  But I looked way cooler than Sam.  And certainly much handsomer than Buddy.  I mean, who has eyes on top of his head?

BUDDY:  Hey, that wasn't my idea.  My nose wouldn't hold up the glasses so Jan tried to be a bit inventive.  You might remember these photos from last year.  Or not.

PERCY:  We thought we would let you know we found a way out of email hell in July.  It was no fun having the computer freeze every time we tried to download email to Thunderbird v38.

RUSTY:  We were alone in our misery for over a month.  After Jan fixed ours, other reports started turning up of the same problem.  Jan would never have downloaded the new version if Google hadn't blocked us and forced her to. 

MICAH:  We can't blame Jan.  She doesn't speak Google.  Someone at the Google forum and someone at the Thunderbird forum did respond to her question, but no one could help her and she had to figure out the solution by herself. 

MERCI:  And in other good news, the vacuum that spilled dirt all over the place ( A Perfect Failure) was returned to Walmart for a refund the other day, despite Marcus' protests the dirty vacuum was his new best friend.

A Perfect Failure

MICAH:  We have been missing Cameron so we thought we would post one of his artistic photos for our viewing pleasure today. 

MERCI:  Today's post is going to be a little different.  As we have mentioned on a rare occasion or two over the years, Jan is old and falling apart.  She needs all the help she can find to take care of us, the house and the yard. 

CYNDI:  So Jan was thrilled when she unexpectedly found a Limited Edition Bissell Powerforce compact vacuum at Walmart Monday. The doors and windows of this old house leak dirt.  The last two or three months, Jan rolls out of bed in the morning and vacuums the whole house first thing.  

SAM:  She has a very lightweight vacuum that is versatile but it has poor suction and a very heavy upright with hose extensions and good suction that is hard to drag around.  Even though she had already vacuumed for the day, she tried the new one.  Wow, look at that dirt.  It sucked up a full load from the area carpet.  She would have done a happy dance, if it weren't for her ankles.  And the fact there was dust blowing out both sides of the machine.

MICAH:  The hose was nowhere near as long as it is pictured on the box, so it was really worthless for cleaning; however, she could easily lift the vacuum to clean our beds - top and bottom. 

RUSTY: When she went into the kitchen and popped out the container of dirt, dirt fell everywhere from the top filter area!  She cleaned everything up, washed the sink she'd rinsed the rag in, put everything back together and vacuumed up about 2/3 of another container in the rest of the house.  And then she took out the container of dirt and dirt fell out all over the place again.  On her, the dryer, the floor.  She washed everything again, including the sink and the floor.

BUDDY:  The container is upside down in the photo above to show how it was totally covered in dirt.  She tried to wash it out but found she could not reach the bottom.  She tried a toothbrush, a cotton swab, a rag.  She removed the black filter from the paper filter in the black bottom and tried to wash the parts.  She took the upper filter out, ran water through it and washed the plastic inside as best she could while loose dirt fell about. 

PERCY:  Tuesday morning she decided to give it one more try.  Nothing changed.  She cleaned up the machine as best she could with a dry cloth, cleaned up the loose dirt from the dryer, changed her shirt, wiped the floor with a damp rag and washed the sink.  And parked the vacuum, ready to pack up for return!

MERCI:  Then she decided to give it one more chance to act like a vacuum CLEANER.  And if it didn't, to take photos of how filthy the machine is after every use.  Jan has no intention of trying to wash it again before returning it to Walmart.  She grumbled about not paying to use something that takes twice as long to clean up after as it does to vacuum the whole house.

MARCUS:  Okay, can someone explain why Jan has been upset with me over a little spilled water when she has just spent two days spraying dirt around the house?  At least my mess was clean!

PERCY:  This is NOT a review.  Jan purchased this vacuum "cleaner".  If any of you are using a lightweight, full-service, not-too-expensive vacuum that works, would you share the name of the machine with us?