Hardly A Toothmark

Percy:Is there food on the wall?

Marcus:  No, I was just trying to look modest after Jan gifted me with my very own tire.

Percy:  Only because our friend Mr. Marty suggested in February Jan get you a tire to chew on since you chew up all your toys.

Marcus:  I have no idea why he would suggest such a thing.  I'm very gentle with my toys.

Percy:  Uh-huh.  That's why Jan was so pleased when she found a tire just your size.  Because you're so gentle.

Marcus:  Stop teasing and give me my new tire, Jan!

Percy:  I wonder how long it will last?

Marcus:  Well, this is the tire in November.  See, hardly a toothmark on it.

Percy:  Not a toothmark?  Do you suppose that could be because half of it is missing?

Marcus:  I don't know why that would be.  Do you think Jan was chewing on it when I wasn't looking?

Percy:  Of course!  **rolls eyes**  Why didn't I think of that?

We are participating in Happy Tuesday blog hop. Stop by Comedy Plus to see other posts or to join the fun.

Happy Marcus and Taylor Day

Percy:  What's this about today being special for Marcus and Taylor?  Isn't it special for the rest of us, too?

Cyndi:  Not exactly.  It wasn't planned, of course, but it worked out that Mr. Doug delivered Taylor here from Miss Teresa's on Marcus's assigned Birthday.

Micah:  Unless he's feeling selfish, he shouldn't mind if the rest of us assign today as our birthday too.  That way we can celebrate together and the rest of us can get more treats. 

Cyndi:  It doesn't quite work that way, but you have a good idea. 

Percy:  According to the calendar Jan always forgets to read, today is Marcus' 5th birthday and Taylor's 3rd Gotcha Day.

Micah:  I guess this means we are celebrating Happy Marcus and Taylor Day.

Marcus:  And as Now Angel Khyra always used to ask, Will there be khake?  (Khyra's spelling)

Taylor:  I haven't been here as long as the rest of you, but even I know not to expect Jan to remember the day, let alone to bake a cake.

Marcus: Jan left her purse on the kitchen table.  We could borrow a dollar or two and go buy a cake.

Taylor:  Great idea!

Cyndi:  And just which one of us is going to drive to the store to pick up one?

Marcus:  I will.  I'm the tallest.

Cyndi:  What does height have to do with driving?

Marcus:  I've heard it's illegal for a vehicle to go rolling down the highway with an invisible driver.

We want to thank Pipo & Dalton and their Petcretary Ingrid for the fun cards they sent for Marcus and Taylor.  Not only are we grateful for their kindness, but if they hadn't sent them - and sent them early - we'd most likely be doing a different post today.  (Have we mentioned more than 100 times that Jan forgets to read the calendar she marks up every year?)

We are participating in Happy Tuesday blog hop. Stop by Comedy Plus to see other posts or to join the fun.

Locked Door Motor Running

Marcus:  Hey, remember me in my new vehicle?   Locked room mysteries are popular in books and on television, so I thought we could do something different today and you can try to solve the locked car mystery.

Rusty:  I thought we were going to continue my problem with finding a new villa this late in the season.

Percy:  No, we were going to continue MY apartment hunting.

Marcus:  We all love to tattle on Jan, so we have got to tell this story.  You guys can fight over who writes about what later.  We weren't even going to post today since yesterday we celebrated Micah's birthday/gotcha day.

Rusty:  Speaking of Micah, our friend Loulou sent us this to give to him.

Loulou:  Happy Birthday day to you, Happy Birthday TO YOUUUUUUUU. Happy BIRTHDAY dear MICAH, Happy Birthday to YOUUUUU.

Micah: Thank you, Loulou, and -

Marcus: Enough about you, Micah. Let's get back to tattling on Jan.

Percy:  So what did she do this time?

Marcus:  Jan is very independent and isn't particularly fond of some modern computer-related help.  She prefers to make her own choices, complaining she is perfectly capable of rolling her own windows up or down, or un/locking her own doors, etc. 

For many years she had to completely avoid air conditioning so she hasn't had working ac in any car she has owned.  Until this one.  And in order to keep the ac working, she thinks she needs to run it occasionally, either for part or all of the trip.

Rusty:  What did Jan do, break the ac?

Marcus:  No.  She went by Mr. Doug's to pick up a book, where he left it, in case he wouldn't be home.  She left the engine running, got out of the car, walked about three feet, grabbed the book bag, walked back to the car, and -  Oops, all the doors were locked. 

She was in the country and had no cell phone to call anyone.  Not that we have a locksmith here, and she doesn't have AAA any more. 

She carries a spare key in case she ever locks herself out but the spare key was in her purse on the passenger seat.  (Who would expect a vehicle to lock the doors when someone gets out and closes the door?)

Rusty:  Oh, no!  What did she do?

Marcus:  She did what anyone would do.  She broke in.

Percy:  She broke a window?

Marcus:  No, to break in doesn't mean she actually broke anything.  Like when Rusty said Micah "broke and entered" his summer villa (Intruder in the Villa) but Micah hadn't actually broken anything to get inside. 

Micah:  So how did Jan break into the car?

Marcus:  I thought we would offer this locked door motor running mystery to our readers and see if anyone can guess correctly.  All the clues are in this post.  We'll reveal the answer on Friday. 

Rusty:  You're going to tell us the answer, aren't you?. 

Marcus:  No.  You'll have to figure it out by yourself. 

Percy:  You aren't that good with mysteries, Marcus.  How did you figure out the solution?

Marcus:  I heard Jan on the phone telling Mr. Doug.

 We are participating in Happy Tuesday blog hop. Stop by Comedy Plus to see other posts or to join the fun.

Intruder in the Villa

Percy:  Hey, Rusty, get off the blog.  You promised if I let you do a post on your summer villa last Tuesday, you would let me post in peace this week.  (Rusty Interrupts Percy's Apt Hunt)

Rusty:  I know I did, and I'm sorry, but this is an emergency!  There's been an intruder in my villa.  I have photographic proof.  See!

Percy:  That's Micah.

Rusty:  In MY villa!  And look at the picture.  I'm not home.  He broke and entered.  He should be arrested. 

Micah:  Now just a moment.  I'm your brother and you're talking about having me arrested?  What did I break?  As far as entering, the door was wide open.  I thought you had moved out.

Percy:  Wait, Micah broke and entered?  I can't wait to hear you try to explain that to a cop.  I don't think there's a space on their form for "broke and entered".  You must mean you want him arrested for breaking and entering.

Rusty:  I don't care what for.  I just want him arrested. 

Micah:  Well, you're home in this picture. 

Rusty:  But you weren't invited.  You entered when I was in the kitchen snacking.  And when I returned, your fat butt was in my way.  There wasn't enough room left for me to lie down.

Micah:  I've heard that possession is nine-tenths of something or other.  In this case it was nine-tenths of the villa.  And I did give it back. 

Rusty:  Yes, you did give it back.  And, come to think of it, you did rearrange the shelf Jan keeps her vitamins and herbs on.  In fact, you rearranged much of it onto the floor so there would be room for you.  I envied you being able to get up that high to make yourself at home. 

Micah:  You don't really want to have me arrested after that, do you?

Rusty:  The expression on Jan's face when she walked into the kitchen and saw how you had almost cleared the shelf of her things was priceless.  I'll forgive you.  This time.

Percy:  Excuse me.  You two seem to have forgotten I am supposed to be the one posting today. 

Rusty:  You're a good brother, Percy.  Thanks for sharing.

Percy:  But I didn't offer to share my post.   You just appropriated it.  Again. 

Rusty:  Don't worry.  There's always next Tuesday.

 We are participating in Happy Tuesday blog hop. Stop by Comedy Plus to see other posts or to join the fun.

Marcus Tells A Joke

Marcus:  Hey, it's me again, your favorite joke teller.  I have a good one for you today.  It's blog appropriate since so many furries call their humans  - Oh, I can't give away the joke.

A teacher asked her students to use the word "beans" in a sentence.

One girl said, "My father grows beans."

"My mother cooks beans," added a boy.

A third student spoke up, "We are all human beans."

Micah:  After our recent gas leak here  - or should I say after your recent gas leak, Marcus (flashback to Marcus the Hero), I thought sure there would be a different  punch line.

Marcus:  Why would you think that?

Micah:  I've heard how unmelodious human beans can become after they eat beans.

Marcus:   Oh, you mean like when Jan followed the directions to double the dose for the first two weeks of my new vitamins and stopped after only two days?

Micah:   Exactly.

Marcus:  Maybe I'd better tell a different joke before Jan makes us shut down for the day.  Do you know one?

Micah:  Yes.

Marcus:  So tell us what it is.

Micah:  I will.  When it's my turn to do a post.


We are running behind on everything (as usual) so haven't had a chance to post a Mousebreath interview for today.  We will have one for you next week.

We are joining Flashback Friday.  To see other blog entries and/or to enter your own blog, visit the Five Sibes.

And joining Feline Friday at Comedy Plus.

Rusty Interrupts Percy's Apt Hunt

Percy:  Hey, today is my day to report on my temporary apartment hunt.  What is your picture doing on this post, Rusty?

Rusty:  I'm a senior citizen.  I could die of old age before you finish hunting for an apartment. I found mine before you started looking and I've been quite content, so I believe it's only fair I get a chance to share mine. 

Percy:  Oh, all right.  But there had better not be a peep out of you next Tuesday!

Rusty:  This is my summer villa.  Jan set a plastic storage container of cat bedding on a chair and I moved onto it before she could move it.

Percy:  So that's why you like the neighborhood.  Jan won't move the container as long as you are living on top of it. Smart move!

Rusty:  Thanks.  It also has the advantage of being in line with the air conditioner.  Jan keeps the ac off as long as possible each day but when it is on, I get a warm breeze. And since I have reached the age of shorter jumps, a couple of weeks ago Jan installed an escalator so I can go up and down easier.

Percy:  That's not an escalator.  That is Buddy's old step stool.

Rusty:  A step stool?  But Buddy always bragged about having a self-propelled escalator.

Percy:  Yes, Buddy was the "self" in self-propelled.

Rusty:  What a relief.  I didn't want to complain but I thought Jan must have broken it.  She has a heavy hand and a lead foot.

Percy:  I'm proud of you, Rusty.  You've had your apartment all summer.  Whatever you do, don't let Jan redecorate it.  She has no sense of mancat style.

Rusty:  She did offer to hire an ulterior decorator for it, but I put down my paw!

Percy:  I think you meant an interior decorator.

Rusty:  No, I meant ulterior.  She said I would need to move off for a week or two while the work was being done, but I know she was plotting to move my apartment as soon as I did.  And you know how hard it is to find a private apartment around here.

We are participating in Happy Tuesday blog hop. Stop by Comedy Plus to see other posts or to join the fun.

Temp Apt Fail 8

 
Percy:  Ah, this is the life.  I don't know why Jan is complaining about bent Venetian blind slats.  I am so comfy here by the window.

I am continuing the story of my to-date futile private apartment hunt.  At this point, I am on a storage shelf in front of a porch window. 

This is an apartment with a view of the dog pen.

This is the view from the other side of the window.  No, I am not a checkered cat.  I am peering through a screen.

I don't believe this!  Jan said I am destroying the blind and have pulled down the curtain, so she raised the blind, moved the shelves, and put the old curtain back where she thinks it belongs.  Now she says I can stay in my new apartment.

This apartment was decorated the way I want it and she has redecorated it without my permission.  I don't like the new decor so I am giving her the back of disrespect.  What does she do?  She takes pictures.  It's plain I am never going to get any privacy here, so even though I really like this apartment ...

I'm out of here!

And I've moved back to where I began this series.  In the bathroom.  On a shelf.

I'll teach her to try to make me more comfortable.  A mancat would rather sleep on a basket of sharp objects if it means he has his privacy.

Marcus:  Uh, Percy, you do realize there is no privacy on a shelf in the bathroom?  We can all see you.

Percy:  Then close your eyes and pretend you aren't here.

Marcus:  Okay.  Will you let me know when it's okay to open them again?

Percy:  Yes, I'll call you in October.
 

We are participating in Happy Tuesday blog hop. Stop by Comedy Plus to see other posts or to join the fun.