Monday, April 03, 2017

Great Swampi Marcus 6

Micah:  Hey, Marcus, what happened to your ... um, your ... What is that anyway?

Marcus:  It's my Great Swampi turban.  Jan re-wrapped it to take photos and I got tired of modeling.  I plopped down and so did my turban.

Micah: Do you only see half as much with one eye covered?

Marcus:  Basically, yes, but I can still answer questions.

Micah:  I think the first question should be what happened to Merci Saturday?  She always screams when you leap at her face and screech.  But she sounded like she was being killed.

Marcus:  That was Jan's fault.

Micah:  So this time Jan leaped into Merci's face and screeched?

Marcus:  No, not exactly.  We were going out the door for our walk.  I grabbed my leash, as usual, and started tugging on it.  Jan leaned forward to stop me just as Merci stepped outside.  I let go of the leash and leaped at her face to screech and scare her.

Micah:  There had to be more to it.  Merci screamed longer and louder than usual.

Marcus:  That's because when I let go of the leash, Jan lost her balance.  She was closing the door, so when she fell forward, she slammed the door on Merci's tail.  Merci screamed!  I told you it was Jan's fault.

Micah:  To be honest, it sounds like you started it.

Marcus:  Me?  I was just an innocent bystander.  Don't I have a question to answer?

Micah:  Yes, you do.  Frankie Furter and Ernie von Schnitzel asked one.

"OH Grrrrrreatest Swampi... do you know how to get our Moms to be more GENEROUS when handing out the SNACKS??? OURS is quite STINGY.

Marcus:  Oh, that's an easy one.  Trip her.  As she goes flying by, so will your snacks - in all directions.

Micah:  Is that why you tripped Jan Saturday, so you could get more snacks?

Marcus:  No, that one was for practice.  Hopefully, next time she will be carrying some treats.

Micah:  Okay, that's it for today.  You have a full week now to get your turban on straight and prepare to answer next week's questions.  If you have any.

Marcus.  If not, I'll just make up some.  Or post a picture of Jan riding her motorcycle like Max the PsychoKitty did of his human when he didn't have any questions for his column one week.

Micah:  Jan doesn't have a motorcycle.

Marcus:  So?  Haven't you heard of Photoshop?

Micah:  Yes, I've heard of it.  Are you trying to tell me you know how to use it?

Marcus:  Of course!  I just press the button and ask for a picture of Jan on a motorcycle.

Micah:  While you're at it why don't you ask for a new photo of Marcus the Great Swampi wearing his turban.  That's what your ears are for, to anchor your hat!


  1. Hari OM
    Oh Swamp-ji, you are the font of all fun! Now that you are establishing your repawtayshun, you need to think of gracing other parts of Blogville with your presence; satsang is most impawtant for a seer!!! Pranaams, hugs and wags, YAM-aunty xxx

  2. You all can take tripping-a-human lessons from Patty O'Malley! I know he doesn't like being booted like a football, but he steps right in front of me as I carry out his breakfast, with hands full of bowls, water, and kibble. Makes me feel awful...and, I've never actually 'kicked' him, just nudged him but it makes my heart jump in my throat. One of these days, I'm gonna go down, and then we'll all be in real trouble.

  3. The turban is quite the fashion statement.

  4. Whatever you do don't scare the hand that feeds you
    Lily & Edward

  5. Dang,I would scream too, ouch!

  6. Oh great and all-knowin'Swampi Marcus - can u tell me u it hazta rain so much? I NEED my walkiez an'me an'mom don't like bein'in the rain. An'mom sez I NEED my walkiez so I can loze weight. Mom already haz me on a diet.
    Lady Shasta

  7. OMD we LOVE your new Turban. It looks Grrrrreat on you.
    ANd we THANK you fur the GRRRRREAT Snack Advice... We have never THOUGHT to do that. We have caused Mom to trip on 87,000 occasions... butt never when she had the TREAT JAR... THIS is a BRILLANT plan.

  8. You are a clever one great Swampi!! We can tell you are simply full of wonderful wisdom and advice! I'm hoping you can come up with a way to get Mom to play soccer with me more often than twice a day...

    Molly and my Mom @The Fast and The Furriest

  9. Yep, a door slamming on a tail is sure to elicit screams.

  10. Poor Merci ♥ We hope her tail is okie dokie! Great advice on getting more treats. We will have to try that too. Do you know how to avoid bathtime? I think we would all love to hear that advice. ☺

  11. Poor Merci! And our mom bean says poor Jan too! She must have the pawtience of an angel to put up with some of your antics Marcus.

    But you know what? You sure make us laff! (mom bean too!)

  12. We here would screech and more if the door slammed on our tails, too. Hope her tailio is fine.

    And trip the Miss Jan fur more treats?? Hmmm, maybe I MJF can do that too...of late I plop down like an immoveable rock and one of these days petcretary or pawppy *will* trip ovfur me. I can only hope they will have treats or yummy noms in their hands...


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