Micah: Hey, Marcus, what happened to your ... um, your ... What is that anyway?
Marcus: It's my Great Swampi turban. Jan re-wrapped it to take photos and I got tired of modeling. I plopped down and so did my turban.
Micah: Do you only see half as much with one eye covered?
Marcus: Basically, yes, but I can still answer questions.
Micah: I think the first question should be what happened to Merci Saturday? She always screams when you leap at her face and screech. But she sounded like she was being killed.
Marcus: That was Jan's fault.
Micah: So this time Jan leaped into Merci's face and screeched?
Marcus: No, not exactly. We were going out the door for our walk. I grabbed my leash, as usual, and started tugging on it. Jan leaned forward to stop me just as Merci stepped outside. I let go of the leash and leaped at her face to screech and scare her.
Micah: There had to be more to it. Merci screamed longer and louder than usual.
Marcus: That's because when I let go of the leash, Jan lost her balance. She was closing the door, so when she fell forward, she slammed the door on Merci's tail. Merci screamed! I told you it was Jan's fault.
Micah: To be honest, it sounds like you started it.
Marcus: Me? I was just an innocent bystander. Don't I have a question to answer?
Micah: Yes, you do. Frankie Furter and Ernie von Schnitzel asked one.
"OH Grrrrrreatest Swampi... do you know how to get our Moms to be more GENEROUS when handing out the SNACKS??? OURS is quite STINGY.
Marcus: Oh, that's an easy one. Trip her. As she goes flying by, so will your snacks - in all directions.
Micah: Is that why you tripped Jan Saturday, so you could get more snacks?
Marcus: No, that one was for practice. Hopefully, next time she will be carrying some treats.
Micah: Okay, that's it for today. You have a full week now to get your turban on straight and prepare to answer next week's questions. If you have any.
Marcus. If not, I'll just make up some. Or post a picture of Jan riding her motorcycle like Max the PsychoKitty did of his human when he didn't have any questions for his column one week.
Micah: Jan doesn't have a motorcycle.
Marcus: So? Haven't you heard of Photoshop?
Micah: Yes, I've heard of it. Are you trying to tell me you know how to use it?
Marcus: Of course! I just press the button and ask for a picture of Jan on a motorcycle.
Micah: While you're at it why don't you ask for a new photo of Marcus the Great Swampi wearing his turban. That's what your ears are for, to anchor your hat!