Monday, December 05, 2016
Listening to Tendonitis
Percy: Hey, Merci, what are you staring at?
Merci: I'm not staring. I'm listening to my tendonitis.
Percy: I didn't know tendonitis could talk. Does it sing too?
Merci: Not on key. It's an annoying buzzing and humming and screeching in my ears.
Percy: Oh, if it's in your ears you mean tinnitus. Wait! I thought you don't hear very well any more?
Merci: I don't but I can certainly hear this. It's giving me a headache.
Percy: How long have you had this problem?
Merci I don't know. Perhaps five minutes or so. I wish the racket would go away.
Percy: You've only had this problem for about the last five minutes?
Percy: You don't have tinnitus. You have janitis.
Merci: That's not fatal, is it?
Percy: If it is, we'll all go to the bridge together. The buzzing, humming and screeching noise you've been hearing is Jan ... um, singing. Loudly! I think she's practicing for a caterwauling contest.
Merci: Well, I wish she would practice somewhere else!
Percy: Try to imagine what it's like for those of us who aren't hearing-impaired.
Merci: Do you know where Jan keeps the earplugs?
Percy: I don't think she has any.
Merci: Then let's go find Buddy. He can reach the bag of cotton balls.