Talking To A Mop

Taylor:  Marcus, sometimes I wonder about you.  What kind of a foolishness was this?

Marcus:  It wasn't foolishness.  Jan got me a new toy and when I tried to take it from her, she whacked me on the nose with it.

Taylor:  She did not whack you.  She wrestled you for it. You look like a maniac with a death grip on it. 

Marcus:  It was my toy.  I had a right to it.  She was just being selfish.  I think she wanted to keep it for herself.

Taylor:  Of course she wanted to keep it for herself.  It's a special mop.  When she washed the suv, she nearly fell off the stool because she had to climb on shaky legs so many times.  Next time she washes it, she shouldn't have to climb more than twice, hopefully.

Marcus:  Well, anyone else would have let me enjoy my new toy and bought another one for herself.

Taylor:  But it wasn't your new toy!  Oh, never mind.  I might as well be talking to a mop.

We are joining Flashback Friday.  To see other blog entries and/or to enter your own blog, visit the Five Sibes. 

And joining Feline Friday at Comedy Plus.

Open Invitation To Marcus

Marcus:  This is me lying casually on the back seat being brave.

Taylor:  Of course you're brave.  The car isn't moving if Jan is taking your picture
      

Cyndi:  And this proves it!  Jan would never drive with you parked between the front seats.  You're klutzier than she is!

Marcus:  I didn't say the car was moving.  I said I was being brave.  And I was.  I used to cower on the floo-  Uh, I mean before I got my moving suv balance down pat, I used to have to sit in the back on the floor.  Now I'm so relaxed, I could lie on the seat and take a nap.

Cyndi:  And how many naps have you taken in the car?  While it was moving.

Marcus:  Well, none, but I haven't ridden that many times and I want to see the scenery.

Taylor:  What kind of scenery have you seen so far?

Marcus:  Trees, buildings, and more trees.  But I'm going to see some real scenery soon.  I'm going to visit the UK to drive.  And not just as a back seat driver.  I have an open invitation from the B Team at Bionic Basil to -  Here, read the comment they left for me for yourself.

"Marcus anytime mew want to drive anything, let us know and mew can come to BB HQ anytime, we have a tank, hummer, unimog, atv's etc in the bunker... dude, whateffur mew want to drive no purroblem at all! MOL"

Cyndi:  Oh, no!  He's going to be driving like the gas pedal is stuck and there's no brake.  Does the B Team really know what they're getting into?

Taylor:  I can see him now driving like he races through here screeching at the top of his lungs with excitement, except then he'll be racing in the wrong direction, scaring those poor cats and sending them running for their lives.

Cyndi:  Do you think there's some way we can convince them to rescind their invitation before it's too late?

Taylor:  I doubt it.  You know how those cats love to adventure.  Except for Marcus' hyper fits of excitement, I imagine he will fit right in.

Cyndi:  I hope they have super duper insurance coverage. 


Question.  Does anyone have any idea of what type of spider this could be?  It took up residence on our front porch last week and Jan doesn't want to kill it, in case it's friendly.  Not as in pet friendly but friendly in the sense it kills things we don't want here.

On the other paw, if it's a threat to her or to us, she wants to get rid of it as soon as possible.

Sorry the picture quality isn't that great but the spiderweb is high above Jan's head and this was taken with the zoom.   

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The Aggressive Fridge

Micah:  Hey, it's me, the iron skillet sitter.  We had a post planned for today but it gets written the night before and we had a sudden change of plans.  Jan was cleaning the vegetable bins in the fridge when she was attacked.  Yes, smacked on top of the head by an jealous shelf she didn't clean.  Whacked hard.  At present she is sitting in a chair with a frozen bag of green beans on her head.  Marcus is in the kitchen growling at the fridge.

Cyndi:  Why is he growling at the fridge?  He already had his dinner.

Micah:  He's practicing in case he doesn't get any breakfast tomorrow.

Cyndi:  Leave it to Marcus to think first about his stomach.

Micah:  Well, he's supposed to be Jan's protector and he feels he fell down on the job.

Cyndi:  Yes, but who expects a refrigerator to be aggressive?

Micah:  Obviously, not Jan!

And joining Feline Friday at Comedy Plus.

Tickled Pink

Taylor:  When did Jan turn pink?

Micah:  What?

Taylor:  She's been wandering around since yesterday saying she is tickled pink. She doesn't look pink to me. 

Micah:  That's a human expression.  It means she is very happy about something.  And if you hadn't been in hiding from the two strangers in the house yesterday, you would know why she thinks she's pink.

Taylor:  But I thought bad things were happening to her.  Why would she be happy?

Micah:  Oh, you mean things like Thursday morning she was bitten on the back of the hand by something, possibly a spider, and the itching and burning has been driving her crazy?  And Sunday morning at 6 a.m. she rolled over and tried to sit up but she was on the very edge of the bed and fell off, scraping her forehead as she hit the corner of the bureau and slid down  And when her head hit the floor, the rest of her rolled off the bed twisting her back?

Taylor:  Exactly.  And then first thing Monday morning she was petting you, when you turned around, slipped on some papers, and left claw marks just below Jan's eye.  

 Micah:  That was an accident, just as the knob popping off the front door a week and a half ago was an accident.  She asked her landlord for help..  His nephew and another guy came over yesterday to replace it.  Such a change from the ugly old brown set.

Micah:  And while they were here, the outdoor bulb under the roof was replaced so she can see inside the dog pen when she has to go out at night, the toilet valve was replaced, the heaters were blown out with compressed air so they can be turned on when the weather gets colder - and a most welcome surprise.

Micah:  They built her a sturdy railing for the back steps.
 

Taylor:  Is that why Jan thinks she is pink?

Micah:  Yes!  Put on your rose colored glasses and let Jan be pink for the day.

Taylor: I don't have any rose colored glasses.

Micah:  That's okay.  A little pink nail polish on a pair of Jan's reading glasses will do the trick.

We are participating in Happy Tuesday blog hop. Stop by Comedy Plus to see other posts or to join the fun.