PERCY: We had a bit of a ruckus here Sunday evening. It went something like this.
CYNDI: *racing from the kitchen to the bedroom* Run for your life, the chicken is swimming!
BUDDY: What on earth are you screaming about, Cyndi? We don't even have a chicken.
CYNDI: Yes, we do. Jan just tried to kill me with it.
RUSTY: Calm down and help us understand. If we don't have a chicken, how did Jan try to kill you with one?
MERCI: Go get a sip of water, Cyndi, and start from the beginning.
CYNDI: No, no water. That's how it began. I was getting a drink from the big bowl beside the stove in the kitchen.
PERCY: Oh, good, she's somewhat rational. The stove is in the kitchen. Is that where the chicken was swimming, in the big water bowl?
CYNDI: No! It was in the big pot on the stove. Jan was cooking it.
MICAH: Jan was cooking the chicken while it was swimming in the pot?
CYNDI: No, Jan was lifting the chicken out of the pot to drain it and move it to a big bowl. But suddenly it jumped back into the pot and caused a giant tidal wave which showered down on me and ... and .... How would you like it if a chicken threw hot broth at you?
BUDDY: So you were burned by a swimming chicken?
CYNDI: Well, no, not burned. *Licks her fur* Hey, this tastes pretty good. I guess my thick coat protected me.
MERCI: I just checked on Jan. The chicken didn't jump back into the pot. It was well-cooked and it fell apart when she lifted it.
PERCY: She got a bad burn on her wrist when the tidal wave hit her but she smeared coconut oil and tea tree oil over it and it's okay.
RUSTY: Where are Sam and Marcus? Did they go into hiding?
MICAH: No, they ran into the kitchen and cleaned up the pieces of hot chicken that landed on the floor.
MARCUS: I was drinking water like mad so Jan thought we burned our tongues. Then she noticed the chicken fat floating in the water bowl and took it away from me.
MERCI: Hey, guys, better stay out of the kitchen. Jan just made another mess.
SAM: Does she need another clean up crew? I'll volunteer.
MARCUS: No, this time she was pouring what was left of the broth into a big bowl but she managed to pour half of that over the stove.
SAM: Uh-oh, we better stay out of her way if she has to clean up another mess.
PERCY: Yes, it went everywhere on the stove and down the stove. She's taking things apart to re-light one of the pilot lights. I think we should make ourselves scarce for a while.
RUSTY: I think she should stay out of the kitchen. Except to feed us, of course.
BUDDY: I hope Jan will give us some broth in our food. Merci and I missed the clean up party.
CYNDI: I'm scarred for life. I don't think I'll ever be able to eat chicken again.