The Chicken is Swimming

PERCY:  We had a bit of a ruckus here Sunday evening.  It went something like this.

CYNDI: *racing from the kitchen to the bedroom*  Run for your life, the chicken is swimming!

BUDDY:  What on earth are you screaming about, Cyndi?  We don't even have a chicken.

CYNDI:  Yes, we do.  Jan just tried to kill me with it.

RUSTY:  Calm down and help us understand.  If we don't have a chicken, how did Jan try to kill you with one?

MERCI:  Go get a sip of water, Cyndi, and start from the beginning.

CYNDI:   No, no water.  That's how it began.  I was getting a drink from the big bowl beside the stove in the kitchen.

PERCY:  Oh, good, she's somewhat rational.  The stove is in the kitchen.  Is that where the chicken was swimming, in the big water bowl?

CYNDI:  No!  It was in the big pot on the stove.  Jan was cooking it. 

MICAH:  Jan was cooking the chicken while it was swimming in the pot?

CYNDI:  No, Jan was lifting the chicken out of the pot to drain it and move it to a big bowl.  But suddenly it jumped back into the pot and caused a giant tidal wave which showered down on me and ... and ....  How would you like it if a chicken threw hot broth at you?

BUDDY:  So you were burned by a swimming chicken?

CYNDI:  Well, no, not burned.  *Licks her fur*  Hey, this tastes pretty good.  I guess my thick coat protected me.

MERCI:  I just checked on Jan.  The chicken didn't jump back into the pot.  It was well-cooked and it fell apart when she lifted it.

PERCY:  She got a bad burn on her wrist when the tidal wave hit her but she smeared coconut oil and tea tree oil over it and it's okay. 

RUSTY:  Where are Sam and Marcus?  Did they go into hiding?

MICAH:  No, they ran into the kitchen and cleaned up the pieces of hot chicken that landed on the floor.

MARCUS:  I was drinking water like mad so Jan thought we burned our tongues.  Then she noticed the chicken fat floating in the water bowl and took it away from me. 

MERCI:  Hey, guys, better stay out of the kitchen.  Jan just made another mess.

SAM:  Does she need another clean up crew?  I'll volunteer.

MARCUS:  No, this time she was pouring what was left of the broth into a big bowl but she managed to pour half of that over the stove.

SAM:  Uh-oh, we better stay out of her way if she has to clean up another mess.

PERCY:  Yes, it went everywhere on the stove and down the stove.  She's taking things apart to re-light one of the pilot lights. I think we should make ourselves scarce for a while.

RUSTY:  I think she should stay out of the kitchen.  Except to feed us, of course. 

BUDDY:  I hope Jan will give us some broth in our food.  Merci and I missed the clean up party.

CYNDI:  I'm scarred for life.  I don't think I'll ever be able to eat chicken again.