Five Directional Dogs

Cyndi: It's been boring around here this week, Marcus. We need some excitement.

Marcus:  Perhaps you do, Cyndi, but it's been an overly exciting week for me and Jan. And now we have to look at least five directions when we're walking.

Cyndi: Five directions? I've only heard of four - north, south, east and west.

Marcus: No, left, right, ahead, behind and underfoot.

Cyndi: Underfoot?

Marcus: You mean you haven't heard of our run in with the short dog with the big mouth?

It happened Wednesday when we reached the end of our first lap. A yappy little dog across the street and down a few doors started yelling at us and then he charged. I could have stomped on him but Jan wouldn't let me. She kept trying to turn me around to retrace our route, but every time we started to turn, the dog charged, and he was close. When we turned back toward him, Jan would use the spray bottle she carries. He would run back in the street. Cars would stop. We would start to turn and he would charge again. I begged Jan to let me chase him home, but there we stood with the dog charging and running into traffic until someone blew a horn and scared the dog away.

Cyndi: Wow, that was a bit of excitement. I'm glad I missed it.

Marcus: Oh, that was just the beginning. The next day, Thursday, the great dane mix the neighbors from hell keep tied in their back yard got loose and came over to taunt me. He wouldn't leave, just kept rushing my dog pen barking and then he would stand and watch me race frantically back and forth trying to chase him away. Jan tried to stop me and I ran headfirst into her shin. He finally moved on.

Cyndi: Yes, that was the wrong kind of excitement.

Marcus: There's more. A couple hours later Jan and I started a walk. We didn't get past the porch before Jan saw a black dog walking across a lawn across the street. Guess who owns two black dogs that size? Yep, the neighbors from hell. Was that one of theirs? We'll never know because Jan rushed me back into the house. I didn't get a walk Thursday.

Cyndi: I'm sorry, Marcus. I know how much you need your walks.

Marcus: I'm not done yet. Just before sundown Friday, we set out on a walk. We crossed the street and stopped. Jan gave me my treat for being a good dog. (As in, not stopping to play tug in the middle of the intersection.) She started to unwrap a peppermint for herself. I gave a low rumble of warning to let Jan know there was something behind us. She spun around so quickly she hurt her back.

There was the neighbor's great dane mix. We barked insults at each other. I tugged at the leash. He kept coming. Jan squirted him in the face with the water bottle. He stopped. Jan pulled me back a few steps. He started forward again. We were almost nose to nose yelling at each other. Jan squirted him again in the face and he stopped, then started forward. A car crossed through the intersection, stopped, and the driver leaned on the horn. The dog turned and left.

Jan was shaking so hard I had to lean against her to hold her up. She needed to sit down but she was terrified to come home since that's the direction the other dog had gone. We had to walk away to find somewhere to rest, then we went home on the other side of the street. We didn't get a walk that day either.

Cyndi: I guess the reason Jan was shaking was because she thought she was about to be in the middle of a dog fight?

Marcus: A dog fight? Oh, in the heat of the moment that never occurred to me. I think I need to sit down for a while. My knees are shaking.

Cyndi: Well, this week has to be better. No more scary encounters.

Marcus: Want to bet? We started on a walk Sunday afternoon. We got to the corner and stood there watching a man walking what looked like one of my relatives come into view from around the curve. No, he wasn't walking his dog; he was jogging with his dog. Oops, they weren't jogging; they were running. The guy was chasing the dog,

Jan whipped around and we started walking as fast toward home as she could manage. As soon as we reached our lawn, I stopped to poop. I'm sorry but when nature calls, I need to answer. Jan turned to see how close the dog was. She was just in time to see the guy capture the dog at the corner. That guy is probably still walking bent over since he walked the dog away holding onto the collar, and it was at least several blocks to home.

Cyndi: You must be exhausted after all that in just a few days.

Marcus: I am! I think I'll just stretch out here and rest. Wake me for dinner.