Saturday, May 14, 2011

Sam Proves Buddy Innocent

Hey, Sam here today as Buddy's attorney of record.

Buddy categorically denies all charges leveled against him in Thursday's post. You know the one we posted Thursday before Blogger went down and deleted all posts from that day. When Blogger replaced it yesterday, it was re-dated Friday the 13th. So I am referring to the double-posted accusation that Buddy has been harassing, intimidating, and/or threatening any member of this household, especially Jan!

Here I am with my client with proof of Buddy's innocence. Does he look like a menace to society? (**Buddy, wipe that grin off your face and at least try to look wrongfully accused.**)


Notice the pristine condition of Buddy's new cone collar. Obviously the fraying around the edges is indicative of inferior quality material. If it can't withstand a few hundred thousand collisions in a couple of days, it should be taken off the market. And the scratches? Well, the cashier must have made mince meat of it while ringing it up.

Clearly my client has been falsely accused. He would like to say a few carefully rehearsed words in his own defense.

Buddy: Thank you, Sam. I appreciate you taking my case without recompense since Jan has hidden her empty checkbook and wallet so I can't hire a competent um, I mean, a licensed attorney.

I am completely innocent of deliberately attacking or trying to kill Jan. The reason for the misunderstanding is simple: I am disabled. My reverse gear is broken and my forward has only one speed - high. Yes, Jan had to dance a few dozen times to protect her toes. Yes, I inadvertently rammed her legs a few hundred times, tripped her, and stubbornly pushed one way on the door while she was pushing the other, but all these incidents were the result of my disability. And according to the Canines with Disabilities Act, I can not be discriminated against for being a klutz.

And as to Jan's claim I tried to push her through an unopened window, it's actually her own fault! If she had turned around and come down the step stool forward instead of backward she would have seen me rushing toward her in case she needed help. But, no, she just had to step on my collar.

So, I hope Jan will ask forgiveness for stepping on my head and we can put this behind us.

Sam: Okay, Buddy, I think our case has been sufficiently presented. Thank you all for listening. If any of you would like to start a "Pardon for Buddy" petition or email Jan to remind her of what a gentle, obedient fruitcake ... uh, loyal companion Buddy has been these past 7 years, we would appreciate the support.

Buddy: How did I do, Sam? Do you think think Jan will buy it?

Sam: She's not going to believe a word, Buddy, not a word.

19 comments:

  1. Woofs, I am sure u didnt mean to do what u did to Jan...she will furgive u in time..

    b safe,
    rocky

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hahahaha! Buddy, I can't even imagine the challenges you are currently facing with that satellite, I mean, fine gear you must wear these days. Let's stop for a moment and try to visualize La Chihuahua in one of those ... ah, better not! Just tell Jan that concessions must be made for your current condition. She'd do no better walking around with that contraption around her neck, I'm sure. Sam, you are hired. Next time Mama says I'm headed for tha dog house I'll give you a call, Chico.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I knew you had been framed Buddy!!!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Well, Buddy, I tink you jus' need to get some of your gears repaired. BOL I still remembers da original postee. Hope Jan is doin' a little better in avoiding you. BOL

    ReplyDelete
  5. Hi Y'all,

    Now, Sam you are a great attorney, but Buddy...well...whether or not Buddy intended to cause injury to Jan is not the charge. All I can say is, I hope you have a judge who will see fit to give you leniency.

    Hawk aka BrownDog

    ReplyDelete
  6. Well, WE believe you guys! :)

    ReplyDelete
  7. Definitely a pawsable excuse. When Deacon had to where his cone of coneness, Essex wanted to clobber him for being a clutz.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Opps!! Somebody is in touble. Buddy you can comem stay with us until Jan has forgiven you.

    {{huggies}}}...Mona & Weenie

    ReplyDelete
  9. Well I think you did a great job there and I believe you for sure. I think your mum has already forgiven you realy as how could she not with that face. MOL.. Hugs GJ xx

    ReplyDelete
  10. Great lawyer there Buddy and I say NOT GUILTY! These are just unfortunate things that happened and happend with Jan in the way. I say she has two legs less then we do and should be able to move them quicker out of the way since there are not so many more than we have. It would make no sense for any of the furries at your place to oft her as then who would feed, water, walk, and give you all shelter. That alone make you innocent I say. Jan you really need to be more careful especially when you are around the furries, we wouldn't want you to hurt any of them.

    ReplyDelete
  11. We think we will take Jan's side on this issue. It is the responsibility of the woofie with the cone to take extra care in not causin accidents. Klutziness is not an excuse under the law.

    That said, we DO think the events were unintentional, and therefore, forgivable with counselling...

    ReplyDelete
  12. I believe in Buddy's innocence!
    Kisses and hugs
    Lorenza

    ReplyDelete
  13. Well Sam you did present a very good case, but I really don't think Jan is going to buy into it. Actually both of you need to take those grins off your face. Actually I think the messed up collar says it all.

    Casper

    ReplyDelete
  14. Hey Woofie!! It sounds to me like Buddy is totally innocent.
    Sorry Jan!!

    ReplyDelete
  15. MY Dr Buddy would NEFUR EFUR EFUR try and hert ANYONE ANYTIME ANYWHERE ME LOVES MINE DR BUDDY!!!!!

    Billy

    Is ME a good charakter witness?

    ReplyDelete
  16. Lol...Love this post :)

    Thank You for the hug it helps to have friends who care :)

    ReplyDelete
  17. Buddy is so cute. He has to be innocent. And he does have an excellent attorney.

    I hope you also had a great weekend! After a miserable Fri. 13th. :)

    ReplyDelete
  18. BOL! Buddy, we know you didn't mean it! Jan will come round... Make sure you get that apology in writing! hehe.
    ~lickies, Ludo

    ReplyDelete
  19. Awww, Buddy!! Hang in there!!

    Woofs & hugs,

    ~Bailey

    ReplyDelete

Thanks. We love to hear from you.