Friday, February 18, 2011

Performance Review 2010

Hello again, this is Cotton, and it's that time of year again. A time when Jan should be on pins and needles, dancing to our every whim and generously doling out the treats she's so stingy with. I have been designated - since I am the oldest of the Funny Farmers and the most tactful - to post Jan's 2010 Purr-fur-mance Review.

This is the list we're supposed to work from.



Has she posted to our blog daily and made us famous? Hey, this is a joke question, isn't it? Jan is too lazy busy to type for us, we have to do our own. She loses points for not helping us with our posts.

Yet this does allow us a bit more freedom on what we post, so we'll give her back the points we just deducted.

Are we satisfied with Jan's creative output? Um, how can we best put this? No! If our blog depended on her, it would have died long ago. Deduct points for lack of creativity.

But we are fairly creative, it's our blog and we do our own typing. So we'll have to deduct extra points for living with a non-creative human who makes us do our own work, unlike most blogging kitties who have a slave human.to help them.

We'll give her points for giving our friends more than one way to contact us.

Jan does give us some computer time so we can enter an occasional contest or do a review. We'll give her points on this one.

But we'll take half of the points back since she's usually rushing us because she wants to hog the computer. There are 8 of us and only one of her, so how come she gets 8 shares of it and we only get one? Deduct, deduct, deduct!

If our friends are purringly pleased with what we post, it's our success, not Jan's. Sorry, Jan, you lose more points here.

Jan, we're sorry, but your overall rating in these categories is a C-.

However, we do get to make comments.

Last winter she was nursing an injured/infected toe, but she still changed our litter, fed us and did her best to walk the woofies before the nice men came by and put up a bigger dog pen so she could just open the door and let them outside. We have to give her points for reliability.

And even though she really couldn't afford it, she did buy us an area carpet when she discovered the old wood floor was splintering and Buddy's chest was in bad shape from crawling under the couch. We'll add more points for concern.

Well, she does do some nice things that help us with to be able to blog. Gives us a home, shares the computer, cleans up the vomit from the typing chair when one of us eats something we shouldn't ... And she did open our blog, so she does deserve some credit for whatever we have achieved with it. So we'll give her points for our opportunity.

We know these aren't included on the review form but we have decided to add them so we can raise Jan's score to a B.

We would make it a B+ but she truly is stingy with sharing computer time with us.

So, let's see, a B would be what ... 2 1/2 paws? Okay, Rusty says the half paw can be one of his. Even though his paws are big, he was declawed before he joined us.

And that's a wrap for Jan's Purr-fur-mance Review 2010.


Oh, and a reminder:
There is a Love Photo Contest over at Bugsy & Gracie's to raise money for their large vet bills. And now Lucky will be going to the vet too. We hope you will go by and check out the rules, then submit an entry. The contest runs through the 20th.

And after that there will be an auction. If you have anything to donate to help raise funds, contact Gracie.

40 comments:

  1. We think your blog is wonderful...so we'll add a few paws to the votes too!

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  2. You are all just too funny - LOVED your review. But we would give you a four paws up time the three of us - so that's 12 PAWS for JFF.

    Woos ~ Phantom, Thunder, and Ciara

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  3. Until dogs and cats grow opposable thumbs, all humans should be graded A+

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  4. Cotton, if you are the MOST tactful Funny Farmer we're glad nobody else did the review! We think you should add points for Jan always posting about pets in need and working for animal rights...and cracking you up with her doings! So we're adding our 52 paws to her score!

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  5. Yoo can add our paw in fer a positive fer yer mom Jan. She at least turns the puter on fer yoo right??

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  6. WE also agree -- we think your blog is terrific and we learn a LOT from your Mom.
    We think she does a fine job helping all of you blog.

    purrin
    xoxox

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  7. I raise my paws for the Funny Farmers - so that's an extra 4 paws for Jan.

    Purrs,
    Genghis

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  8. I think in general most pets are nicer to their humans than I am.

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  9. We really like your blog. We don't get her enough. Our Mom needs to make a better effort to get here more Wee like your blog a lot. Have yourselves a fun week end.

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  10. Wow! You are pretty tough on Jan. I really like your blog so I'm going to add a few paws to the votes.

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  11. Awww Jan is absolutely lovely!! Me and Charlie love coming here and seeing all your adorable faces, Merci, Rusty, Cameron, Buddy, Cotton, Sam, Cyndi and Perci!! Yay!! Take care
    x

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  12. You are too harsh on Jan. She is much better than my bone lazy slave. I tried to type, really I did, but no one caould understand the ajelhfp'avgndnvf,d30dulkfjeipa. So I have no choice but to keep her.

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  13. We think a "B" is a good rating considering Jan's weaknesses is some areas! So be sure to help her improve so she can get a better rating next year.

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  14. I vote for this being a great blog, Jan. Keep up the good stuff!


    For all you folks and animals reading this my blog has stories and information helpful for cat helpers everywhere. Pass it on to your human ‘beans!

    I pray that all cat blogosphere kitties stay happy and healthy!

    Debby

    http://homelesscatcare.blogspot.com/

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  15. Aww I think your mum does great and I up the votes.. Hugs GJ xx

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  16. We'll throw in a couple of extra paws for Jan - we're big on the care and concern thing, so we give her a lot of brownie points for that! And we love your bloggie in general, and as you pointed out, she did get it started for you! As for us, we can't be too harsh on our Mom - we can't type! ;-)

    *kissey face*
    -Fiona and Abby the Hippobottomus

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  17. Wow! You were tough on Jan, but at least it makes us feel better about giving our mum a hard time with her review.

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  18. We love your blog, it's wonderful!
    Rudy is started to think he should do a review :)

    Rudy's Raiser

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  19. Very nice review...I tink Jan deserves a big raise!!!!!

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  20. I think this is a pretty fair assessment - you can't give humans TOO much credit, or they start thinking they are WAY more important than they really are!

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  21. wow all of these kitties are giving such tough reviews, but...as I said to someone else, if they didn't they would be (perish the thought) DOGS!!!

    PS:We think your blog is great! xoxo

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  22. Wow, and I thought I was tough on the mom here. There are many of you so I know she cannot keep all happy all of the time. This should be a big consideration too. Try as she might.
    I give Jan an A++ for letting all of you adopt her. What a wonderful furever home you have and I know you are loved bunches.

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  23. We love your blog and we think that review should have been all 4's and more. Hugs and nose kisses

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  24. Ok, our friends, we have to give Jan our eight paws which make her rating jump to A+++!!

    Momo & Pinot who love your blog! xoxo

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  25. Dear Funny Farmers,

    It's too bad you weren't offered a bribe like I was, then you could have easily padded the rating. However we are fans of your blog so would like to give Jan some of our 4 PAWS ratings and Cotton, I thinks that because you gets to drive the tractor, theese is also worth 4 PAWS! (Brilliant header!)

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  26. Poor Jan - maybe yoo need to ask her for more treats?

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  27. We are adding some paws to Jan's score too. Boy you Funny Farmers sure are hard on Jan, and if you are the most tactful, well........we hates to imagine what the others would have said.

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  28. Hehehehe...A C-! Ya'll are purty ruthless theres but, I loves it! At least ya'll gave her some extra points.
    These haves been so fun to read.

    Puddles

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  29. All of these reviews crack me up! Yours is great.

    Nubbin wiggles,
    Oskar

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  30. Jan deserves the best rating!
    Add my paws, please!
    I love your blog and all she does!
    Happy Saturday!
    Kisses and hugs
    Lorenza

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  31. We give yoor mom 12 paws fur giving yoo computer time! Ours hogs da laptop and when she's not here she TURNS IT OFF and we is not equiped to open it. We is gonna haf mom leave a link to our twitter account here, she is not so teknikally inclined so we don't know if it will work or not...
    http://twitter.com/kattoniccats
    And yes, we were doing nip afore we wrote da revoo! We like nip and try to get some effury day...along wif temptations.

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  32. My mom would fail her review for sure :)

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  33. LOL, I love this post. You do have a great blog and I love the new look. A++ for creativity!

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  34. Hee! Hee! I've seen this performance review on a few other blogs and have been enjoying reading them!

    I have to say, I think yuo're awfully hard on Jan. I think she is a wonderful human and so good to all of you!

    And of course I love your blog! I have been visiting you for ages and always look forward to stopping by! I especially love all the funny videos you find - those are my favourite posts!

    Slobbers,
    Honey the Great Dane

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  35. You all sure did a great job on that review. We have to say we really love your blog, so we're glad you gave Jan some credit for loving you all so much. We'll throw in some paws, too if it'll help raise her score. :)

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  36. You've got to be king to her - after all, she's only human, not a furry friend!

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  37. Yours is a very thoughtful, thorough review of Jan's purrfurmance. We think she does try hard, and she is much better than our Mom.

    Purrs,
    Padre, Panda Bear, Meerkat, Cookie, and Caramel (& fosters Sunny and Sky)

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  38. boy, you guys were pretty ruff on poor Jan. Remember, by not doing things for you, she has "encouraged" you to learn all these things and you've all become very resourceful - blah, blah, blah - that's what our mom tries to convince us of too. We're not buying it either.
    Gidget, Rosie and Lola

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  39. Well we will add our paws all 16 of em for Jan as well!

    Your bloggie is great, funny and informative.

    Big Nose Pokes
    The Thugletsx

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  40. I have to admire Jan for getting all her dear animals to do her work. That's a sign of a good boss, giving your "employees" space to show respect for their contributions. Then they can rise to their full potential! You have to give her some more paws for that!

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