Marcus Tells A Joke

Marcus:  Hey, it's me again, your favorite joke teller.  I have a good one for you today.  It's blog appropriate since so many furries call their humans  - Oh, I can't give away the joke.

A teacher asked her students to use the word "beans" in a sentence.

One girl said, "My father grows beans."

"My mother cooks beans," added a boy.

A third student spoke up, "We are all human beans."

Micah:  After our recent gas leak here  - or should I say after your recent gas leak, Marcus (flashback to Marcus the Hero), I thought sure there would be a different  punch line.

Marcus:  Why would you think that?

Micah:  I've heard how unmelodious human beans can become after they eat beans.

Marcus:   Oh, you mean like when Jan followed the directions to double the dose for the first two weeks of my new vitamins and stopped after only two days?

Micah:   Exactly.

Marcus:  Maybe I'd better tell a different joke before Jan makes us shut down for the day.  Do you know one?

Micah:  Yes.

Marcus:  So tell us what it is.

Micah:  I will.  When it's my turn to do a post.


We are running behind on everything (as usual) so haven't had a chance to post a Mousebreath interview for today.  We will have one for you next week.

We are joining Flashback Friday.  To see other blog entries and/or to enter your own blog, visit the Five Sibes.

And joining Feline Friday at Comedy Plus.

Rusty Interrupts Percy's Apt Hunt

Percy:  Hey, today is my day to report on my temporary apartment hunt.  What is your picture doing on this post, Rusty?

Rusty:  I'm a senior citizen.  I could die of old age before you finish hunting for an apartment. I found mine before you started looking and I've been quite content, so I believe it's only fair I get a chance to share mine. 

Percy:  Oh, all right.  But there had better not be a peep out of you next Tuesday!

Rusty:  This is my summer villa.  Jan set a plastic storage container of cat bedding on a chair and I moved onto it before she could move it.

Percy:  So that's why you like the neighborhood.  Jan won't move the container as long as you are living on top of it. Smart move!

Rusty:  Thanks.  It also has the advantage of being in line with the air conditioner.  Jan keeps the ac off as long as possible each day but when it is on, I get a warm breeze. And since I have reached the age of shorter jumps, a couple of weeks ago Jan installed an escalator so I can go up and down easier.

Percy:  That's not an escalator.  That is Buddy's old step stool.

Rusty:  A step stool?  But Buddy always bragged about having a self-propelled escalator.

Percy:  Yes, Buddy was the "self" in self-propelled.

Rusty:  What a relief.  I didn't want to complain but I thought Jan must have broken it.  She has a heavy hand and a lead foot.

Percy:  I'm proud of you, Rusty.  You've had your apartment all summer.  Whatever you do, don't let Jan redecorate it.  She has no sense of mancat style.

Rusty:  She did offer to hire an ulterior decorator for it, but I put down my paw!

Percy:  I think you meant an interior decorator.

Rusty:  No, I meant ulterior.  She said I would need to move off for a week or two while the work was being done, but I know she was plotting to move my apartment as soon as I did.  And you know how hard it is to find a private apartment around here.

We are participating in Happy Tuesday blog hop. Stop by Comedy Plus to see other posts or to join the fun.

Marcus Does A Mean CPR

Marcus:  Before we begin today's post, here's a picture of me so you don't forget what I look like.  If you'll notice, my eyes are open.  Percy thought I would keep them closed until he calls me in October.  (Temp Apt Fail 8)  He didn't fool me a bit.  He doesn't read a calendar any more than Jan does. 

A couple of months ago, Jan and I set out on a walk. As we walked down the porch steps, a young mockingbird flew onto the nearby stop sign and another ran back and forth across the roof; both were chattering away.  Now, I do speak fluent goose but I have to admit I have yet to learn mockingbird.

What, oh what was he (or she) upset about?  Could it be an emergency and my astute medical skills were needed to save him?  I perform a mean CPR!

Rusty:  You certainly do perform a mean CPR!  You could have broken every bone in Cyndi's body when you tried to practice on her.

Marcus:  **waves paw**  She survived, didn't she?

To get back to the subject of the mockingbird racing across the roof yelling, I looked around for a translator.  Perhaps mama mockigbird was nearby.  Oh, wait, she speaks mockingbird too and I don't.

I looked at Jan but she was just as puzzled as I was. 

And then, beyond Jan, I saw the answer. 

There was another young mockingbird hiding in the bushes behind us.  She (or he) was actually well-camouflaged.  Jan had to walk around the bush to get a decent shot of her.  She must have been terrified of us.  She never so much as twitched.

Rusty:  She must have heard about your CPR technique.

Marcus:  I'm sure she had.  I'm becoming quite well-known in life-saving circles.

Rusty:  If you try CPR on a bird, you'll become quite well-known in law enforcement circles.

We are joining Flashback Friday.  To see other blog entries and/or to enter your own blog, visit the Five Sibes.

And joining Feline Friday at Comedy Plus.

Temp Apt Fail 8

 
Percy:  Ah, this is the life.  I don't know why Jan is complaining about bent Venetian blind slats.  I am so comfy here by the window.

I am continuing the story of my to-date futile private apartment hunt.  At this point, I am on a storage shelf in front of a porch window. 

This is an apartment with a view of the dog pen.

This is the view from the other side of the window.  No, I am not a checkered cat.  I am peering through a screen.

I don't believe this!  Jan said I am destroying the blind and have pulled down the curtain, so she raised the blind, moved the shelves, and put the old curtain back where she thinks it belongs.  Now she says I can stay in my new apartment.

This apartment was decorated the way I want it and she has redecorated it without my permission.  I don't like the new decor so I am giving her the back of disrespect.  What does she do?  She takes pictures.  It's plain I am never going to get any privacy here, so even though I really like this apartment ...

I'm out of here!

And I've moved back to where I began this series.  In the bathroom.  On a shelf.

I'll teach her to try to make me more comfortable.  A mancat would rather sleep on a basket of sharp objects if it means he has his privacy.

Marcus:  Uh, Percy, you do realize there is no privacy on a shelf in the bathroom?  We can all see you.

Percy:  Then close your eyes and pretend you aren't here.

Marcus:  Okay.  Will you let me know when it's okay to open them again?

Percy:  Yes, I'll call you in October.
 

We are participating in Happy Tuesday blog hop. Stop by Comedy Plus to see other posts or to join the fun.