Where Is It

Snarf, snoof, mmmmph! It’s in here. I know it’s in here somewhere! I heard it crying and then it stopped. It died. I know it died. I’ve got to find it, just in case it didn’t die yet. If it only fainted, I can save it. Snoof, snarf, mmmmmph!

Oh, well, fooled again. Nothing in here but cotton balls and a plastic heart. I'm too late. It died and disappeared.

Uh, oh, Jan's going to be awfully mad at me - again. She'll tell me - again - there is no little dog locked in there crying to get out, and to stop making a mess looking for him. Mess? What mess is she always fussing about? I have never made a mess in my life!

Oh, I know, she forgot to vacuum the rug again. Good thing she did. Someone left these cotton balls lying all over the rug. She really should vacuum in here more often.

Actually, she should take neat lessons from me. I won the Scruffy Award, you know.


Posted by Buddy, JFF Journalist

Our Gizzy Quilt

Whoopie, our Gizzy quilt has arrived! Isn't this gorgeous? It's in the Funny Farm's favorite colors, too.

Ah, I (Crystal) can smell Jasmine's scent. Or is that Millie's? I don't know which one did the quality assurance test on our quilt, but I love that sushi scent. And Jan threw on a little catnip. This is most comfortable when wadded up. And it's mine, all mine.

No, it's mine! Crystal is the oldest, so he had first turn. It's my (Cameron) turn now. A good wad and roll and - ah, cat heaven!

Hey, wait. Where did the traffic jam come from? There's supposed to be room for all of us. Some of you need to lose a little weight! (Crystal, Percy, Rusty, Cotton)

What do you mean, this is strictly for the cats? See, we (Merci and Samaritan) fit on it. It should be our quilt. Buddy snores. He should have his own.

Hey, I thought you guys said it smells like catnip. It smells more like a pack of dirty quilt soilers slept here. Oh, I should have guessed. Cameron wiped the floor with it, wadded it up and stomped it. Just checking, he claims, in case Miss Lynne dropped any loose change inside for the Funny Farm empty dues fund. Yeah, right.

We took a vote and the decision is unanimous. (Dog votes don't count. This is a kitty quilt.) We love our Bizzy for Gizzy quilt!

You can read about the Gizzy quilts on Darling Millie's website.

Seeing Eye Pony

Ooooh, look! A seeing eye pony. (Click here.) He's about my size and he's employed. Maybe I could apply as a fill-in for Mr. Pony's scheduled vacation and sick days.

Wait, I'd have to fly on airplanes. Percy wouldn't be driving the plane and Buddy wouldn't be navigating. We could get lost. Worse, we could crash. I trust their driving. They have a history of one driving adventure and zero accidents. Okay, one accident, but Percy missed hitting the house. Bushes don't count. (Farming Michael Vick Continued)

And I would have to leave all my buddies here to get into mischief on their own. I'd miss Buddy stealing all my knotted and basted chew bones.

Never mind, guys. I'm staying home.

What's that, Cameron? No, I am not going to ship out so I can pay dues into the club treasury. If the club needs money, you apply for the job. You're the treasurer. (Former Tomcat Club)

Besides, what would Jan do without me? I remind her several times every night not to forget to wake early and walk us. Without my 2, 3:30, 4:15 and 5:30 a.m. reminders, she would forget!

Yep, I think I'll stay home and help Jan. She needs me!

(s) Samaritan

Storm Watching

Buddy sits on his favorite nosey neighbor perch watching the flashes of light and listening to the rumbling thunder. Cotton watches from the desk, then abruptly asks, “Buddy, what are you doing sitting in front of a window during an electrical storm? You know that isn’t safe.”

Buddy continues to stare through the glass. “I’m keeping an eye on Jan’s car. Wouldn’t want anyone to steal it, you know.”

Cotton shakes her head. “No one in their right mind would steal that old car. Oh, wait. You and your cohorts in crime already did, didn’t you?”

She grins at the memory of the group – Buddy, Percy, Rusty, Merci, Samaritan and Cameron – tiptoeing back into the house after their recent front lawn adventure. “By the way,” she continues, “you never have told the rest of us what happened that night. All we know is there was a commotion outside, you returned with Rusty and Cameron limping, and Jan had hysterics the next morning when she found her car parked in the bushes. We know you were responsible but we can’t figure out how you did it. We were betting you wouldn’t even get the car started.”

“Well, we did,” Rusty says, as he leaps onto a window seat, “and that’s more than you need to know. Loose lips and all that --” 

Percy joins them in the other window seat. “Yes, that’s even more than we want to know.” He reaches over and pats Buddy on his nose. “I think Rusty and I will just lie here and help you watch Jan’s car for a while. Who knows but it won’t go floating off in this downpour.”

Cotton sighs. It’s hard to be the only sane resident at the Funny Farm.

Posted by Cotton

Millie, Monty and Poppy

Jan has been home a lot lately. (While her car is being repaired, but that is another story. Actually, you can read about it in "Farming Michael Vick Continued.") So our computer access has been limited.

Jan popped out for a few minutes, so we thought we would tell you about our friends Millie, Monty and Poppy. (Just click on each name to visit their blogs.) We've been reading these blogs for a while now and have intended to add their links to the sidebar, but things have been kind of hectic around here.

Have to run.

(s) Cyndi, JFFWC Calico Beauty
(I'm not a club officer so I don't have a title, but I decided to do like the Jan's Funny Farm Writing Club officers did and vote myself one.)

Buddy Unchanging

I don't know why Merci thinks Buddy has changed.


Buddy as a puppy in 2005
That's me - Percy - watching him disappear into the bag.


He still looks the same to me. Does he look any different to you?


Buddy in 2007


I didn't think so. Personally, I think Merci needs seeing dog eyeglasses.

Posted by Percy