A Trash Mover

 Marcus:  (sung to the tune of ... I have no idea!)

Here I come walking down the street.
Leading Jan by the hand with two mismatched leash.
Throw it down, plastic bottle or can.
Take it back, I'll bite your hand.

I'm a trash mover, yes, a trash mover.
Whoo hoo, I'm a trash mover!

I can't believe how many people throw their trash down and keep going.  Our walks are a gold mine of trash - and broken glass - but Jan will only allow me to move a plastic bottle from Point A to Point B.  She said it keeps me out of other trouble.  I have no idea what she's talking about. 

Great Eggshell Riot

Percy:  Sit still, Marcus!  I'm getting dizzy watching you. 

Marcus:  I can't sit still.  Too much to do.  I've got to snoopervise Jan.  She can't accomplish anything without me.

Percy:  That's odd.  I was under the impression she can't accomplish anything with you underfoot.

Marcus:  I've got to pick up poop in the yard, scoop the litter pans, get the coffee ready to brew  --

Percy:  You don't do any of those things.  Ripping the trash bag when Jan tries to take it out of the house is more your brand of help.  Remember the eggshell fiasco in the living room Saturday?  That was your idea of help.

Marcus:  Well, I made sure those eggs shells were dead!

Percy:  You mean you made sure they were spread. 

Marcus:  Spread.  Dead.  What's the difference?   Jan had nothing to fear from them after I showed them who's boss.

Percy:   She had nothing to fear from them before you ripped a hole in the trash bag as she walked by.

Marcus:   You don't know that.  Haven't you heard of the Great Eggshell Riot of 1923?

Percy:  No.  And neither have you!

Marcus:  Well, I could have -

Percy:  - if eggshells could riot.