Marcus the Fiction Writer

Marcus:  ... and then he fell over backwards and had to dig through his backpack looking for an extra pair of underwear. 

Percy:  Jaaaaaaan, can you come here for a moment? 

Jan:  What do you want, Percy?

Percy:  The truth!  I don't believe a word Marcus is telling me about some imaginary incident last week when he supposedly scared some poor guy half to death. 

Jan:  Oh, I know the incident you mean.  It wasn't imaginary, but I'm sure Marcus' version of it is.

Percy:  So what's the real story?

Jan:  I was sitting beside the mill steps resting on our walk.  A young man, probably in his 20s, stopped and asked if he could pet Marcus.  Since Marcus was beaten by his owner between the age of 3 and 5 weeks, he has been skittish around strangers, especially males, and will growl if someone raises the voice or makes sudden movements.  He loves Mr. Doug and other men who are quiet around him.  This young man seemed okay, so I agreed.

     He knelt down.  Marcus went right over, checked him out and sat down.  You know what an attention-hog he is.  Everything was fine until the guy started to get up, lost his balance and threw up his right arm to keep from falling.  The moment that arm started to move, I knew Marcus would react, but before I could pull him toward me, he shot straight up in the air like someone had lit a firecracker under his butt.  His mouth opened wide and a thundering bark erupted. 

     The guy, pale and visibly shaken, found his voice.  "Don't worry, I've been bitten before."  

     "You were never in any danger of being bitten," I responded, "but you sure scared the dog!"

     The guy was facing me and Marcus was facing to the guy's left, but I can imagine how unnerving it had to be to be to watch a dog Marcus' size rising with him, right in front of his face, and those great jaws opening wide.  He probably feared he was a goner.  He walked away slowly.  I don't think he'll ever ask anyone if he can pet a strange dog again, which is a shame.  He seemed like a nice guy..

     When I stopped shaking, I had to laugh at Marcus' unexpected response.  I asked him, "Why did you do that?"  He just looked at me and innocently asked, "Do what?" 

Percy:  I knew Marcus' version was untrue.  He should be a fiction writer!

Marcus:  Well, you have to admit that living with me is never boring.

Percy:  Living with you is never quiet either. 

Strange Plumbing Problems

Micah:  Do you think anyone has missed us?

Rusty:  Everyone is so busy very few have probably noticed we've been gone.

Micah:  We're not exactly back yet, but we've had this post half ready to go for several weeks now.

Rusty:  We figure since we can always use a laugh, you might need one too.  Besides, we can never resist telling a story on Jan. 


Knock on door.

Stranger:  Is this (our house number)?
 
Jan:  Yes.

Stranger:  I understand you have plumbing problems.

(Note:  We did have a plumbing problem, but our landlord sent someone to fix it two days earlier while Mr. Doug was here working on our computer that Win 10 trashed by putting it into permanent hibernation.)

Jan:  Who told you that?

Stranger:  Tom Jones (not his real name).

Jan:  Who's he?

Stranger:  **points to a company van parked on our side street**  From the plumbing company.

Jan:  Who told him?

Stranger:  I don't know.

They stared at each other a few seconds.

Stranger:  I understand you have plumbing problems.

Jan:  Who told you that?

Stranger:  Tom Jones.

Jan:  Who is he?

Stranger:  The plumber.

Jan:  But who told him?

Stranger:  I don't know.

They stared at each other another few seconds.

Stranger:  I understand you have plumbing problems.

Jan:  Who told you ... Wait!  What STREET do you want? 

Stranger:  ** names our house number but side street**

Jan:  **points up the road**  You want that house over there.

Stranger almost ran to truck and the vehicle moved up the street.  Stranger sprinted up the steps.  We could just imagine what happened.

Stranger:  Is this (our house number)?

Tenant:  Yes.

Stranger:  I understand you have plumbing problems.

But this time he had the right house!