THE BMP PLUMBING SERVICE

THE BMP PLUMBING SERVICE
Copyright 2005 Janice Price


“Mmm, this is the life,” Buddy breathes, as he rolls onto his side and stretches in the warm sunshine.

“Yes,” Merci agrees. She leaps deftly to her feet to avoid Buddy’s flailing feet. “This is my favorite time of the year.”

Percy nips the paw Buddy has shoved into his side and ignores Buddy’s yelp of protest. “It won’t be long before it will be too cold to stretch out in front of the screen door and sleep in the sun. It’s going to be a long, boring winter.”

“Oh, it won’t be boring,” Buddy says with assurance. “I have decided what I want to do with my life.”

“Eat!” Merci and Percy laugh.

“No, seriously, guys,” Buddy protests, “ever since Mr. Landlord was here the other day, I have been thinking of becoming a plumber.”

“Mr. Landlord? Oh, you mean our landlord.” Percy cocks his head. “No, he can’t be our landlord. Jan pays the rent. He must be her landlord.”

“But Mr. Landlord isn’t a plumber. We heard him tell Jan he’s a contractor.”

Buddy rolls onto his stomach and watches a squirrel sit on a porch step and eat a pecan. “But, Merci, he replaced the kitchen faucet when he was here. He’s a plumber!”

Merci shakes her head. “Just because he knows how to turn on and off the water, that doesn’t make him a plumber. He just got lucky.”

“No! If you remember, I helped him. I showed him where the leak was. I barked for Jan to fetch a rag to clean up the water after he pulled everything out from under the sink. I even reminded him to go buy a new faucet before he took out the old one. It’s a good thing I was there, peering under the sink, watching him. He might have fallen asleep under there if I hadn’t kept knocking things over and nudging him along.”

Percy laughs. “You’re right, Buddy. He couldn’t have done the job without you.”

“Go ahead and laugh now. You won’t laugh when I have money in my – Oh, I forgot, I don’t have pockets. But I’m going to have money to spend.”

“Can I earn some money too?”

Buddy looks indignant. “You’re a girl, Merci. Girls don’t do plumbing. Did you see the size of that wrench Mr. Landlord carried outside to turn off the water at the meter? It probably weighs more than you do!”

“Well, I could do something. Mop up the water spills, hand you the lightweight tools, whatever you need that I can handle.”

Buddy thinks a moment and changes his mind. “Yes, it would be nice to have an employee. You could be my secretary and make my appointments. Cameron, the Funny Farm Writing Club Treasurer, can’t count higher than his toes yet. Maybe you can also do the billing and balance the books. You can add, can’t you?”

Merci nods her head, growing excited at the prospect of having a career.

“Well, if you two are going to work together and have spending money, I want a position too.”

“Okay, Percy, you can be the one who mops up the water spills, hands me the tools and whatever else I need help doing.”

“Just don’t ask me to bring you a wrench like Mr. Landlord carried. I’m smaller than Merci, remember.”

“If we’re going to start a business, we need a name for it.”

“I know, Buddy, we can call it Percy and Buddy’s Plumbing Company.”

“Hey, you forgot my name,” Merci complains.

“But you’re only the secretary.”

“Buddy, if you don’t include my name in the company title, I’ll tell Cameron you need a bookkeeper.”

“Okay, okay. We’ll include your name. The Buddy, Percy, Merci Plumbing Company.”

“That sounds terrible,” Percy says. “We need something with class, like PBM Plumbing Company.”

Buddy rises to his feet and stretches to look as tall and masculine as possible. “This is my idea. It’s my company. My name goes first! And to be fair to you two, we’ll do it in alphabetical order. Buddy, Merci, Percy Plumbing Company.”

“That sounds terrible too, Buddy. The name weighs more than Mr. Landlord’s wrench.”

“What about the BMP Plumbing Service?” Merci asks.

Buddy mulls over the name. “BMP Plumbing Service. Hmmm, I like that. It’s easy to spell also. Does that sound all right to you, Percy?”

“Yes, I like that name. I can print some business cards. This should be fun. When do we start?”

“Just as soon as we get a client,” Buddy beams. “I can’t wait to get started. After all, how hard can it be to plumb? We can learn as we go. This should be fun.”

Percy and Merci exchange a nervous glance. Buddy’s schemes tend to go awry.

“In fact, we can practice here at home,” Buddy announces confidently. “The faucet in the bathtub has to be replaced. Let’s surprise Jan and fix it for her.”

Merci climbs to her feet and slowly follows Buddy into the bathroom. “One way or another, Jan is definitely going to be surprised!”

Percy,
Secretary to the Funny Farm Writing Club

CAMERON COLLECTS CLUB DUES

CAMERON COLLECTS CLUB DUES
Copyright 2005 Janice Price



Percy stands taller than usual on Jan’s chair, with laughing eyes and a purr rumbling from deep in his chest.

“You look so proud you could burst,” Merci says, as she sits down beside the computer chair.

“I am,” Percy responds. “We should all be proud of what we did.”

Buddy drops onto his haunches on the other side of the chair. “Okay. I’ll be proud. But what did we do?”

“Yes, what did we do?” the cats chorus, leaping onto the desk and making themselves comfortable.

“We posted the All C.A.T.S. ( http://www.allcatsinc.org/ ) Hurricane Katrina animal rescue updates in our journal. Pat read our posts and sent us a personal message. She appreciates the voluntary contribution of our time and talents, even though we couldn’t find Jan’s credit card to make a monetary donation to the rescue effort.”

“Yes, that’s too bad,” Cameron says, with a touch of haughtiness, “but if you guys had been paying your club dues, we could have made a donation from our own funds. I told you the time would come you would regret having an empty treasury.”

Cotton sighs. “Cameron is right. We should have listened to our Treasurer and paid our dues. The problem is, Jan doesn’t give us an allowance. We tried donating dry food morsels to the treasury but Buddy swallowed them whole before Cameron could even count them.”

Buddy’s tongue snakes across his lips at the memory of the unexpected early morning snack. “Yes. I make a motion we do that more often.” He glances around at the other club members and innocently inquires, “Does anyone want to second the motion?”

The response is instantaneous and unanimous. “No!”

Cyndi steers the conversation back to the original subject. “Well, I think it was nice of Pat to send a personal note to the club.”

“Yes,” Crystal agrees.

Percy turns his attention back to the e-mail message on the computer screen. “There is more to the message. She says - Never mind, I’ll just read it to you.”

The money ran out and the Crew wore out. They would have kept on if enough money had come in, but I think "donor fatigue" has set in for a lot of people.

Cameron wants to know, “What’s ‘donor fatigue?’”

Percy is perplexed. “I don’t know. It’s probably some disease they picked up from riding through the flooded streets in a motorboat.”

We are very proud of the Crew. They rescued a total of more than 3,000 animals, and all but 125 of those rescued have been reunited with their owners.

Cyndi sighs. “Wow! Can you imagine all those ecstatic reunions?”

Cameron looks up from counting his toes. “Is 3,000 more than 18?”

Cotton laughs. “And to think, Cameron elected himself our Treasurer. Yes, Cameron, you would have to have - Let’s see. You only have four toes on each back foot, so you would have to have 600 front feet with five toes on each foot to count that high.”

“Since Cameron was not born with 600 front feet, this conversation is moot. Can I finish reading the message now?”

“I’m sorry, Percy. You don’t have to get upset with me. I only asked a question,” Cameron says politely. ”Go ahead and finish reading the message.”

Percy continues: The shelter in Alabama did end up with about 25 extra rescue animals, which we really can't afford, but what can you do when they need you? If you know of anyone who would like to help support these animals, we could sure use the help.

Percy looks around at the group. “Do we know anyone who would like to help these animals?”

“Do you mean, besides us?” Crystal asks. “I would sure like to help them.”

“I would too,” Merci adds. “I wonder if there is something we can do.”

Cameron asks, with a touch of sarcasm, “Isn’t this ironic? Dare I suggest we begin to collect club dues so we can make a contribution?”

“Yes, you can suggest it, but we’re broke, remember?” Merci reminds him.

“But we all eat, don’t we? Why not give up one morsel of dry food each time we eat?”

Cotton feels a stir of excitement. “That’s not a bad idea, Cameron. We cats nibble several times a day. Merci eats twice a day and you, Buddy, well, we’ll only count the two times a day Jan feeds you. We won’t count what you steal or what you swallow that isn’t actually considered edible.”

“Yes,” Cyndi adds, “and we can borrow one of Jan’s plastic containers to store the food until we have enough to ship to All C.A.T.S. in Alabama to help feed the extra animals.”

“That’s an excellent idea,” Buddy gushes. “And I’ll volunteer to guard the food container.”

All heads turn toward Buddy.

“Oh, no, you don’t!” Cameron tells him sternly. “We’re taking up a food collection for the All C.A.T.S. animals, not for you. I’m the Treasurer and I’ll guard the food container – from you!”

Percy,
Secretary to the Funny Farm Writing Club

ALL CATS KATRINA PET RESCUE UPDATE, SEPT 21, 2005

ALL CATS KATRINA PET RESCUE UPDATE, SEPT 21, 2005
©2005 Janice Price

Buddy stands at the window and watches as Jan’s station wagon rolls down the street. “Sheeeee’s off!” he announces to the Funny Farm residents.

“Let’s get moving before she comes back,” Merci declares, to no one in particular.

Percy leaps onto Jan’s secretarial chair and quickly opens her e-mail program, searching for the latest All CATS update.

“I thought she would never leave!” Cyndi exclaims.

Cotton eyes Cameron with disdain. “We could have posted this last night, except for Mr. Fat Butt.”

“I do not have a fat butt.” Cameron shoots back at her.

“Now, Cotton,” Crystal says, soothingly, “Cameron doesn’t really have a fat butt. He just made a mistake. We all make mistakes.”

“Yes, but he is the only one of us who ever sat on the keyboard to take a bath.”

“You mean, he is the only one of us that ever sat on the keyboard and got caught taking a bath,” Cyndi says.

Buddy begins to laugh, breaking the tension between the cats. Gradually, the rest of the group joins him, as they remember the early a.m. confusion Cameron caused as the club waited for Jan to stop tossing and turning and fall asleep. The quiet was broken by a mysterious doop, doop, doop. When Jan turned on the living room light, Cameron was vigorously bathing himself, while playing a non-melodious tune on the computer hardware as he bounced on the keyboard.

Merci chuckles. “That sure killed our chances at the computer for the night. Jan turned it off, and we didn’t dare touch it until she left the house just now.”

“Can the chatter, guys!” Percy orders. “I’m trying to work here.”

The group moves to where each has a clear view of the monitor. Cyndi, Crystal, Cotton and Cameron leap onto the desk. Merci stands with her front paws on the desk, and Buddy edges closer to Percy, who is standing on the chair seat.

Crystal asks, “What is the “rescue board” mentioned in the update?”

“I don’t know,” Percy admits. “That’s new. No, wait. Jan asked the same question and this is the answer she received.”

Cotton, sitting closest to the monitor, reads the message to the group. “The rescue board is in the courthouse near the French Quarter and is used by several organizations. Our volunteers list every animal we rescue, describing it and giving the street address (or at least the street) on which the animal was found. Also, where the animal was taken. People then go to the site where the pet they believe is theirs is located. Volunteers there ask for proof of identity (address) to match up with the animal. Each animal has a plastic "collar" such as vets use with the address written on it. Of course, lots of times it's obvious because the animal's eyes light up and they try to run to their person.”

“This is yesterday’s update, guys. Let’s get it posted,” Cyndi says, with impatience. There’s another hurricane headed that way. The news will be outdated before anyone gets to read it, if we don’t hurry.”

Percy hits a key and the update is posted.

“Good work, Percy,” Merci beams.

“Yes,” Buddy agrees, “good work, pal,” He pats Percy on the back, pushing him forward onto the keyboard, which begins to sing doop, doop, doop.
www.jansfunnyfarm.com


All Cats Update for September 21, 2005

Last weekend, we received a donation and wonderful letter from a lady whose dog was one of those our volunteers had been caring for. She had found her dog listed on our rescue board with a notation that it was being cared for in its home. When she arrived at her home, she found our volunteer Charles feeding the dog.

Then, lo and behold, we receive a call from CBS saying they wanted to do a ride-along with us. That happened today and was on CBS and Fox News earlier. Fox has been showing the story about every three hours. The boat has ALL C.A.T.S. written on it and is camouflage colored. Our guys are wearing military-type clothing. During the ride-along, our guys rescued 4 horses and several goats. Plus four dogs--which were shut in the farmhouse. This was shown on the news clip. The newscaster did say, "Most of the rescue people search from the air; you go door to door and find animals the rest do not." Our reasoning is that all farms have animals; therefore, we must check them all to see if these animals may be trapped inside buildings and therefore not visible from the air.

We made sure that the horses and goats were able to get to dry ground/pasture--with shelter. We fed the dogs and left plenty of food and fresh water. Charles will, of course, go back and check on them--as we always do.

During the ride-along, Charles talked about our organization and gave our website address. That address was crawling along the bottom of the screen while the clip was running.

We have received numerous emails thanking us for what we are doing--from people whose animals we have saved. The newscaster was very complimentary of our efforts--and your help. He said "You must have some great people on your supporter list." We told him that was definitely the truth.

A SPECIAL THANK YOU--To the office of the Governor of Texas. Carolyn contacted the governor's assistant today and was promised that there would be tractor trailers available, along with buses, for people to take their animals with them if evacuation of Galveston or any other area in Texas becomes a necessity. People will be allowed to take their animals (in carriers) on the buses during any evacuation. The tractor trailers are available in the same area to take animals that cannot be transported in carriers. All anyone has to do is talk to one of the drivers. They will go to the animals' location and pick them up.

We are very proud of what we have been able to accomplish--and of you for making it possible for us to do.

There is great need to continue our work, so we must ask you for more financial help. We especially need money for gasoline--we use a tremendous amount in the boats and trucks.

We also urgently need building materials--gift cards from places like Home Depot and Lowes would be wonderful!!

To donate--

1. Visit our website ( www.allcatsinc.org ) and donate on-line through PayPal with the special link for the Katrina Crew.

2. Send your check or money order made out to All C.A.T.S., Inc. to Carolyn Keeton at 4907 23rd Boulevard, Valley AL 36854.

3. Send money via Western Union to Carolyn Keeton in Valley AL and/or Barry Harbin in Albertville AL. BE SURE TO GET THE CONFIRMATION NUMBER AND SEND IT TO -

4. If there is any other way you wish to donate, we'll be happy to discuss it. Call Carolyn at the above number.

Please – if you possibly can, do find a way to help us help the animals. They are depending on all of us!

ALL CATS KATRINA PET RESCUE UPDATE, SEPT.16,2005

All Cats Katrina Pet Rescue Update, Sept. 16, 2005
(c) 2005 Janice Price

Buddy, carrying his stuffed bone with the broken squeaker, wanders past the computer. His ears register the sound of new e-mail notification, and he wanders over to check the computer. He calls, excitedly, “Percy, come quick! It’s here. Jan just received another update on the All Cats Crew in the Hurricane Katrina disaster area.”

Before he finishes, Percy has leaped down from on top of the refrigerator, raced into the living room and leaped onto Jan’s secretarial chair. “It’s about time!” Percy grumbles, as he scans the message. “How can we update people when we don’t receive updates?”

Merci joins them, standing on tiptoe to read the message on the screen. “Calm down, Percy. Remember the All Cats Crew is busy rescuing animals – mainly cats and dogs, either left in homes when people fled the storm, or stranded when the homes were flooded or destroyed. If the animals are not rescued soon, they will die. So the Crew doesn’t have time to chitchat.”

Percy’s deft paws copy and paste the message into a Word document. He runs a spelling and grammar check, adds a title, and ….

“Wow, you’re good at this,” Buddy says, in awe of Percy’s agility on the keyboard. “I used to be able to type that fast, but then I grew up and my paws got so large I can’t hit the correct keys unless I take my time.”

Percy smiles. “That’s why I’m Secretary of the Funny Farm Writing Club.” In no time at all, he has the update posted to the Club’s journal.

“I don’t know about you,” Merci says with a grin, “but it sure feels good to be able to do something to help those poor animals along the Gulf Coast.”

“Yes,” Percy adds. “We aren’t well-known writers, so we don’t have a lot of readers on our site yet, but sharing our journal with All Cats temporarily is the least we can contribute to the relief effort.”

Buddy sighs. “We could contribute a whole lot more if we could just figure out where Jan hides her credit cards!”

Percy,
Secretary to the FFWC

All Creatures Are Truly Special, Inc. http://www.allcatsinc.org

We have delivered four tractor trailer loads of dog and cat food to New Orleans and Mississippi--wherever needed. FEMA has requested our services in Mobile AL, and we have a tractor trailer load ready to go directly to the shelters there.

We're still feeding more than 70 dogs and over 100 cats and kittens that are in safe places until their owners return. These owners have been contacted and know where their animals are.

The feral animals that are almost impossible to catch are being provided food and water in their own, familiar areas. We will not traumatize them further by trying to move them now that their home territories have been drained.

Since our last update, we have rescued another 3000+ dogs and 1800+ cats. 2088 of the dogs are back with their owners. 846 of the cats have been reunited with their people.

We have rescued 82 people with their pets. We also have 15 persons, 18 cats and 23 dogs living in our shelters in Valley. They will be provided with housing next week by the FEMA people. We also have 26 dogs and 30 cats that have been brought to Valley.
Again, since our last report, we have rescued over 100 head of cattle by getting them to dry land. A feed store donated food for them.

108 people have sent emails to Barry Harbin asking us to check their homes, entering by any means needed, to care for their animals. We have checked each location and reported back to the people who contacted us. We have provided food and water for all the animals we found. Most of the people are returning to their homes and animals next week.

You all have asked what else we need help with:

We always need a lot of money to purchase gasoline to keep all of these vital vehicles going! We are still the only animal rescue people operating boats. No one but us is helping the animals still surrounded by water. If we don't have gasoline, we won't be able to continue.

We have also rescued 36 horses, which will be turned over to the equine rescue groups. We have built temporary holding pens until the groups get to them. Money for building material is always needed.

We still need money to get that tractor trailer in to Mobile because it is sitting there ready to go--just need fuel. It also contains smaller cages for rescuing small dogs and cats.

Thank you all so very, very much for your help. Please try to continue your support as long and as much as you can. As you can tell, we urgently need financial support to continue helping all the animals which still need us.

You may donate in several ways:

1. Via PayPal using the special Katrina Crew link on our website.

2. Via Western Union to either Carolyn Keeton in Valley, AL or Barry Harbin in Albertville, AL. Be sure to send the Western Union confirmation number to Carolyn by calling her at -

3. By check/money order sent to Carolyn Keeton and made out to All C.A.T.S., Inc., and addressed to 4907 23rd Boulevard, Valley AL 36854.

4. To donate food or gas cards or any other items, contact Carolyn or Barry at the phone/email address described in No. 2 above.